A Missconception that pisses me right off

http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=196096

Just an extract of an article about Resident Evil 5:

" Within a few seconds of watching Chris Redfield surrounded by a marauding pile of walking, hellish undead, he lived out what we all imagined we'd want to do - he rears up, grits his teeth, and pops a zombie in the face with a haymaker. Nice.

The fifth Resident Evil takes place in an as-yet unnamed African nation, with hordes of undead beating you up under a constant sheen of burning sunlight"

Why can't actual fans of the series review these games, for once in their life can't they tell the difference between ZOMBIES and the enemies in RE4 and the ones in RE5.

EVERY FUCKING TIME!

For fucks sake! Zombies are undead creatures with the IQ of an estate agent (sorry to any Zobies offended by this) whom are after your flesh.

The enemies in RE4 and 5 are infected with a parasite, other than that they are NOT undead, nor Zombies.

GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS RIGHT.

That is all

This is Anonymous Gamer Signing off:

Remember to check out my other site (http://anonymousgamesreviews.blogspot.com/)


Fuck You Internets

RE5 (Hands-On)

Ok I've just stopped in the middle of reading a Hands-On review of Resident Evil 5 (http://www.totalvideogames.com/articles/GC08_-_Resident_Evil_5_Hands_On_13688.htm), and I just want to pull a few extracts.

"When you're low on ammo she'll be right there to offer supplies, without you even asking for it. This is one of the aspects of her character that allowed us to instantly bond with Sheva. As with any other survival horror game, ammo is always scarce in Resi 5, but Sheva always seemed to be there at the critical moment with a top-up. " - Ok this is one of the reasons RE4 sucked, and that is because there was not as much tension as their should have been. That is why it is SURVIVAL horror, not getting by just fine but enjoying the action horror. WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET THIS?!?

Ok Moving on... "She's an AI ally that actually enhances the tension of Resi's brand of suspense" Ok, is this because you just said previously that she gives you weapons and ammo just at the right time, or are you saying the AI is retarded and that means the suspense is upped by AI that does stuff that you don't want it to do?

The rest of the review is just as I expected/feared, especially with the Chainsaw guy (be more original Capcom!) and a few other stuff, it doesn't give much away, and it doesn't give much hope, except a few bits and bobs which I've heard before.

All in all I'm still disappointed with this title, and I'm still wondering why most people and Resi fans are getting a boner out of this game?

Metal gear Solid 5

GAMEPRO has released an article that assistant producer of Kojima Productions is leaving. However he had something interesting to say

"It'll be hard not being involved in MGS5, but I've got the utmost confidence that Hideo Kojima, Ken Imaizumi, and our amazing team will put together another blockbuster game. I'll be cheering from the sidelines."

As we all know Hideo Kojima has repeatedly said he wont be directing another Metal Gear Solid, and when the epic Metal gear Solid 4 (PS3) was released a few months ago Kojima confirmed that this would be the last game involving Solid Snake.

So what does MGS5 hold in store? I mean there are NO plot loops left open from the last quadoligy, everything was tied up. This means that a whole bunch of new characters will have to be introduced, my guess is that there will be a new patriots, and a new government conspiricy to solve.
However with Solid Snake out the way, and Raiden becoming Jack, and settling down with Rose (plus fans don't want Raiden), then who's going to be as cool as Solid Snake? Isn't he the 3rd greatest Soldier that ever lived? Or as Grey Fox out ranked him, maybe the 4th gretaest?
So I can't help but think, who can replace Solid Snake? Can anyone repleace Solid Snake and a bunch of other characters, and Hideo Kojima? It's a tough order to fill; but hey, as Ryan Payton said they have a great team behind them, and it's the team that make the game come to life, and if Hiedo Kojima doesn't like the direction (as producer) he has near ultimate decission to change the direction. I'm sure Konami will do fine. Hell I trust em' more than I could ever trust Capcom, but then again that isn't saying much, after Umbrella Chronicles I can't trust Capcom any more.

Facebook: The Movie

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7585632.stm

Sorry I have no comment that can describe the amount of times I am smacking my hand against my face in disgust at what kind of shit Hollywood is pulling out of their asses these days.

Do we honestly need a biographical movie on the creators of Facebook? there are so many interesting people who deserve a biographical movie more than the creators of facebook, and hollywood decide to make a movie on these douches?!

This really gives me hope as a writer, because half the stuff I think of while taking a shit is 504, 273, 995.73 times better, hell the shit that comes out of my ass is better than this pile of putrid ass vomit.

I'd rather watch snuff porn, along to the musical hits of torture victims, and babies being murdered, than go to the cinema, or even watch it for free off the Pirate Bay. I'd rather watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, no, wait, maybe that's going too far....

What I'm trying to do is, find a word that could somehow sum up this failboat of a movie, but I'll just have to just end this piece of news saying:

This is Anonymous Gamer signing off:











You stay classy internets!

Resident Evil 2 Wiimake

N-Europe has some interesting news about the Resident Evil franchise, an dthat is that Resident EVil 2 is being remade for the Wii. Now usually this would be the point I bounce off the walls and scream like a small fan-girl, and giggle while kicking my feet in the air orn my bed.

HOWEVER N-Europe has another thing to report.

"Parts of the game supposedly take part from a viewpoint similar to Resident Evil 4, with addition story elements and a new knight-like "swordsman" creature apparently confirmed as new content."

If this is true than I will be currently ranting out in the state of the Nostalgia Critic: "NO, NO, DOES NOT COMPUTE!!! NOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! RAPE MY CHILDHOOD WILL YOU?!!?!"

Seriously, do Capcom have to get any shallower.

Yes a remake of Resident Evil 2 in they style of the REmake would be, what's that word again? Oh yes ORGASMIC, but if you start fucking with it, and start adding RE4 style camera angles, and enemies, then you're just fucking the franchise right up the ass. Capcom surely have the sense not to get killed by thousands if not millions of Resident Evil fans?

As I said, this would usualally be the point I'd be bouncing off the walls with excitment; but I feel completely neutral, not even the least bit excited, I suppose this is because this may just be a roumour, and all the horrible parts were made up by some person who calls himself a hardcore fan.

Well apparently it will feature in the next issue of Famitsu, so until then, I can safely NOT bounce off the walls until Capcom officially announce it, or at least Famitsu print it.

Bioshock for the Playstation 3

Five words you seek to destroy a 360 Fanboy?

Bioshock for the Playstation 3.

These are the words I give to ye.

I was just browsing the interwebs (hey it's what I do!) and came across Bioshock for the Playstation 3, which has an October 21st release date. Not only is this awesome news for someone who refused to buy a 360, and doesn't own a PC anymore, but it just tickels me more, that yet again 360 fanboys are writhing with pain, certainly moreso than Dead Rising for the Wii did.

Bioshock is set during the 1960's, your character finds himself in an underwater 'utopia' (more like dystopia) where things have obviously gone wrong. You must gentetically modyfy yourself if you are to survive.

The 360 and PC versions were amazing, and if anything Bioshock is a good 360 game, however you could always get it on PC.

Now the PS3 version sports the same impressive graphics, and some new modes such as Survivor Mode, and sports new rooms which have some new (optional challenges) such as a demonic carnival, which require certain powers to overcome, these will obviously have some effect on your preformance during the game, however apart from that the storyline remains 100% in-tact. Now the PS3 sports 'trophies' (god damn it, we aren't following the 360 here, I'm not someone who needs reassuring that I'm good, I already know I am) there will be trophies to win too.

I have a lovely bunch of coconuts - Welcome to the Carnival:
Step right up and win a prize...

All in all, the PS3 exclusive content isn't too great, but it certainly is better than your usual port of a game, which gets nothing, for example the rushed port hybrid of the PS2 and Gambecube versions of Resident Evil 4, or the disgusting port of Resident Evil 2 (PS1/N64 hybrid) and Resident Evil 3 (Dreamcast) [I guess adding the word 'three' to the end of the voiceover of the title "Resident Evil 3, could be counted as GC exclusive content)

However I'm excited, I guess I'll get Bioshock instead of Ghostbusters this autum, a fine replacement. However come 2009, I'll hopefully have enough funding to get Ghostbusters by then :-)

Horrific - The RE2 port for Gambecube was a large disappointment

Resident Evil 3 wasn't any betterThe only exclusive content here was the controls

Dead Rising (update)

Ok, so I've had time to digest the shockingly poor release video of Dead Rising: Chop Till you Drop. Every critic out there is on the same level on this one: It sucks. Capcom hoped to wow us, but all they got was boo's and jeers. I tried to give this game the benefit of the doubt, and in some sick twist way, I am, just like T4....

So I've drawn up a list of demands on my top things I want to see changed the next time I see a gameplay demo:

5) Wii Exclusive Content: This isn't the most important thing right this very moment, but I was disappointed that the port of RE4 didn't have any exclusive content apart from the controls and more enemies on screen (apparently up to 40 character models at 7, 000 polygons each!). So I want to see Capcom pull their heads out of their asses (if it's possible) and begin to treat this port with a little respect.

4) Better gore effects (ala Resident Evil meets House of the Dead); seriously, I know the Zombie character models are bad, but the blood here makes the Original Dawn of the Dead's blood look fantastically realistic. Another thing I would like to see later on in development is better visuals. I mean if Solid Snake form MGS 3 is 5, 000 polygons, and the Wii can sustain character models of 7, 000 each at a level of 40 on screen at the same time, supporting high end 6th gen textures. Why can't this game support a character model over 1, 000, with basic 6 gen textures, at a populace of only 12? I mean they said they would have 100 zombies on screen at the same time, which by my calculations, you can at least support 100 x 5,000 polygon models, with high-mid end textures. Which would still leave enough memory for the main character models to have 10, 000 polygons and very high-end textures. So it beggars belief that this game looks so ugly, and why Capcom showed off this game at this stage of it's horrible life?

3) A wider range of objects to use as weapons: Apparently they've reduced the amount of background objects you can actually pick up and use as weapons; there is not much excuse for this, none at all really, it just saddens me, slightly more-so than the graphics.

2) A completely altered/original game engine: The RE4 system sounded like a good idea at first, but now I've looked at it, the pace of the game is slowed down so much, that you are likely to die of boredom, than fear or even the zombies. The pacing of the 360 version was fast and fun, and now it seems very slow, very very slow. I hope Capcom will further alter the gameplay from a RE4 clone, to a somewhat improved version of the RE4 engine, to suit a faster pace.
I'm also sick and tired of every game which seems to be good, that the gameplay and content being dummed down, because they expect every Wii owner to be a kid, or a retard. Give us a balance of hardcore games too, give some of your Wii gamers credit for Christ’s sake!

1) The use of a good soundtrack: I cannot tell you how much this game's sound-track sucks. The lack of decent sound effects astounds me, I mean, what is wrong with using the old sound effects from the first one, what is wrong with recording new sound effects, instead of using a 99p sound effects CD. The sound is one of, if not the most important thing in a game, and this game rapes the sound to death. Everything is over stock, and muffled. You wouldn't believe how much this annoys me, and that is why it's my number one spot. If Everything but the number 1 stop was ignored, and when they released the next gameplay demo, and all that had changed was the sound-track, the game would be about 2 hundred times better than it already is.

Ok, so now I've calmed down, we'll see if anything has improved next time, maybe I can strike off things from the list, maybe I'll have to add to the list, or maybe I'll have to make a new one?

This is Anonymous Gamer signing off...
You Stay Classy Internets!

Robocop 4 not Robocop 4

Well apparently we can all stop calling it Robocop 4.

http://screenrant.com/robocop-rated-r-vic-3219/

They are now catching up with the new trend of rebooting the series. I mean, does every damn franchise require rebooting. At least McG has the decency of at least not REBOOTING the damn terminator series !!!

Yes, yes, I know, the only really decent Robocop (like Nightmare on Elm Street) was the first one, but jeez. Can't Hollywood stop resurrecting old franchises? They're meading in powers beyond their control!!

Needless to say, despite it being an R/15/18 rated movie, this film will still blow donkey testicles.


That is all...

Resident Evil 5 (update)

Well yet another trailer has come out, not much new, but it seems that

1) That someone has been transporting BOWs
2) That the black mask person is not Sherry
3) Sherry may be still in the game, as the woman who dresses inappropriately for Africa....

So here's a screenshot:
Here's the trailer in HD.
http://trailers.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/2036/t_re5_leipzig_gc2k8_h264.mov

There isn't anything here that changes my mind on RE5 though...

Dead Rising (update)

New gameplay footage and a quick hands-on review has been posted on 1-up.

It says:

" Because Chop Till You Drop runs on the Resident Evil 4 Wii engine, the controls feel similar -- differing mostly in the pacing, since Resident Evil is, in most cases, a slower shooter, while Dead Rising's a faster beat-em-up/shooter/choose-your-own-adventure-through-the-crowd game. That means you hold down a button and point the Wii Remote to shoot, and you can choose between pressing the A button or flicking the Wii-mote for an up-close attack. Other motion sequences show up contextually: If an enemy stuns you, you can shake the Wii Remote to recover, and if you shake the Wii-mote while holding a baseball bat, you can charge it for a more powerful attack. I only tried out the shake-to-recover move, though (which worked fine), so it's hard to say how well these will work on the whole.

He also mentions he saw 10 zombies on screen at once (because it's been in question how many the Wii can handle on screen simultaneously), but Capcom says it will be able to display 100 by the time the game ships. The Wii version of the game also has a new mission structure and save system, likely meaning far less frustration than was found in the Xbox 360 version. "

My impressions is the game is way too slow paced, and the blood doesn't look as real, the sound-track is mind-numbingly boring, especially with stock sound-effects. I know this game isn't supposed to be scary, and it's just all about blowing zombies up, but FUCK. These zombies are just boring....

I hope they fix these problems, on top of the amount of zombies on screen at a time, otherwise this will just be what 360 fanboys fear, that the game will be butchered so much that the game wont be fun.

Well If this game's soundtrack is the same as the 360 version, the game was already butchered way before it reached the Wii, man it sucks.

New Site + FFVII (update)

Well it seems that the Final Fantasy VII remake announcement was not anything to do with Final Fantasy VII, but introduced a demo video of Final Fantasy XIII which was over 2 hours, which makes it longer than Advent Children. In which I don't give a shit about.

Yet again there will be no Final Fantasy VII remake. It's debunked (for now), however any changes will be posted here.

Also I have another site reviewing games which have a special place in me heart, it isn't a AVGN rip-off, it's just me reviewing games that I was fond of, or have inspired me in some way. I'm kicking off with Sonic the Hedgehog series for the Sega Master System II. It's a three parter, the next part will be out in a few days. I thought blogging would be better than video, because AVGN and the critic are really kings of reviewing over video, and so I don't want to be seen as a copycat. Yes I love both their work, but no, I'm just being me, and showing my views. James or Doug. If you ever by some large miracle ever read, or comment on either blog, I will faint. You guys rock my socks.

Anyway here's my new site for games reviews: http://anonymousgamesreviews.blogspot.com/

Mario

When I was younger I had a Mastersystem, in my area a SNES was a baby's toy and the Megadrive (Genesis) was the shit. Sonic ruled over mario, and so I was pretty much a SEGA fanboy until the Playstation came out. However now I own a Wii (my second nintendo consle I owned, I got a Gamecube just because of the Resident Evil remake) I've been playing more mario games, and so I've pulled out an emulator, and played through the old mario games right from Donkey Kong onwards.

The first point I'd like to make is that Mario is one cruel motherfucker, first of all he's an incarnation of Stalin (see http://nedmartin.org/amused/communist-mario). Think about it. The turtles and goombas don't seem to be doing anything, well threatening... All they are doing is moving up and down, and the green turtles fall of cliffs anyway. Then Mario comes along and crushes them to death with his weight, the fat fuck.

However my main point about Mario is one that has been talked about the most, the connotation with drugs. So I've devised a story that proves that there are only three true Mario games.

So we start back in Mario’s youth, unlike his brother Luigi (who is a plumber) Mario is a carpenter with a whore bitch called Pauline. However one day an escaped gorilla by the name of Donkey Kong steels your whore-bitch because she is a very attractive woman, and who wouldn't want her. Unfortunately he's also climbed the skyscraper you were helping to build, and now you must dodge the barrels, or smash them with hammers you find along the way. Once Mario catches Donkey Kong, he not only must work for free to fix the damage done to the skyscraper, but law suits by animal rights protesters have been given against Mario too, especially from the cruelty to Diddy Kong in Donkey Kong 2.

So we now move on several years. Mario and Luigi are now plumbers, and have been asked to investigate the pipes underneath the city. However it seems that all the turtles, crabs etc flushed down the toilets have been mutated by the sheer amount of waste dumped down here, and have become giant vicious killing machines!! Trapped down there, Luigi and Mario must fight for their lives!

Several weeks/month later despite Mario and his brother being compensated by the city council for damages, Pauline breaks up with Mario, and leaves him for this punk nicknamed Bowser. annoyed that Luigi still has his rocky, yet existent relationship with Daisy Mario decides to do mushrooms to cheer him up. This creates a mushroom induced hallucination, creating a world in which he can be a hero, this way he feels that Peach (Pauline) has been kidnapped by Bowser an evil dragon/turtle archetype. Other enemies such as koopas (turtles) are reminiscent of their horrors of the city sewers; other mushroom related visions are to do with the drug he has taken. In this world he can live happily with the mushroom version of Pauline, and rescue her from a much stronger Bowser, in which in real life, his unhealthy form could never do.

Afterwards, Mario gets so addicted to Mushroom, that soon he makes the family business go bust, and Mario and Luigi end up becoming turnip pickers. Both depressed and their lives, Luigi, Mario, Daisy, and their short immigrant friend they met turnip picking all decide to do mushrooms, most of the Mushroom Kingdom becomes turnip related instead of plumbing related, and Daisy becomes a princess by the name of peach (possibly because Mario has become obsessed with his fictional incarnation of Pauline, and thus the name, figure etc has imprinted on her mind, thus another mushroom induced adventure begins.

Eventually Mario and Luigi give one more shot at becoming plumbers, to get them through the depressing hard start up phase of their business he does his favourite drug. Most of the other "cannon" Mario games are just drug induced hallucinations, especially when later on the plumbing business goes so well, they can afford to do more and more shrooms, eventually Mario opens a popular toy store, the toy store is an even greater success, because they toys he makes and invents are so crazy, and cute because they are all inspired by the creations made during his hallucinations.

So there you have it, the only three REAL Mario games are Donkey Kong 1 & 2, and Mario Bros.

Poltergeist and A Nightmare on Elm Street

So these two movies scared the shit out of me when I was a kid, and they scared the shit out of me when I was a young adult/teenager. Now they are still pretty scary films... Unlike films, which as a child are mentally scarring such as Stephen King's IT (it gave me my fear of clowns), which as you got older you realised how silly they were (I wish they did it like the novel, then it would probably still scare me); these films still creep me out.
Unlike films like JAWS which when you watch them, you are not too afraid, however years later when you're body/surfboarding/swimming in the sea you suddenly have a panic attack from being subconsciously reminded that there might be something underneath you that would like to take a bite out of you. These films scared you while you were watching them, and if you watched them before you went to bed (especially during a storm) you would NOT be able to sleep, at least for a few hours.

So what makes these two films still make me nervous even at the age of 22? Well I think I should explore both.

POLTERGEIST:

1) The lack of music: I think the most suspenseful thing in this movie is the lack of music along with the editing. You are expecting something to happen, but there is nothing to indicate something will happen or has happened, and by the time it does, its too late; the film has already claimed you as its next victim, much like that tree...

2) Yes that damn tree, I think this scare worked on me more when I was a kid, but now I live in a room which has old trees outside my room, I think the creep factor has come back.

3) THE CLOWN: I cannot honestly remember what I saw first IT or POLTERGEIST, but that clown was scary as FUCK.
Who in their right mind would by ANYONE let alone a CHILD a toy like that? I mean who would think that that clown would be something fun or friendly? The worse thing in the movie is that it does absolutely nothing during most of the film!!! You're waiting the whole time, every shot of that clown is just creepy, from it's mouth, to it's dangly hand *shudder* This builds up the suspense so much that when the clown does do something, you're so emotionally exhausted waiting for it to happen, while going through hell with the rest of the movie, that your guard has been totally been destroyed.
That's just the problem with clowns, they wait until you're most venerable, then they strike!

Who said Clowns weren't scary?

Ok these three things are the things in this movie that are garanteed to scare me when watching this movie, hell a clown and suspence will scare me in ANY movie, well, not The Dark Knight, I actually liked the Joker....

Now for A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Well I'm not so sure exactly what creeps me out, it's just everything about this movie, I could name a list of things and go into detail about any of them. The theme tune, the sound effects, especially coming from Freddy's glove, the atmosphere, Robert Engulund's performance, all of these are very creepy factors in which I cannot make room for them all, as all of them are excellent things that Wes Craven as a director chooses excellently.
I think the biggest scare has to be the dream sequences or should I say nightmare sequences. These could probably only bet topped if David Lynch directed them. In fact if they ever reboot the series, David Lynch should either direct, or direct the dream sequences, that would be the only thing scarier. These dream sequences are very down to earth and real, Freddy doesn't turn into a giant snake or anything, he's just a scary person who doesn't need 'dream powers' he just IS. I must admit, before nightmare on elm street I have had similar dreams with a tormentor similar to Freddy (sans being exactly like Freddy) and my nightmares and dreams can be very David Lynchesqe/and or NoES. So I can relate that these dream sequences are very real, and don't go out of their way to be crazy, or obviously odd like the sequels, they were very subtly odd and non sequential. I think this topped with everything above made me not able to sleep after the movie.

Maybe it;s because I've had similar nightmares? Maybe it's just Wes' genious poking through..

Robert Englund - The man of your dreams!

The Cleveland Show

Ok, so I was sent a link to FOX's latest moneymaking spin-off form their formally mistreated cash-cow: Family Guy.

So you may think: Am I excited about a family guy spin-off?

Well no I'm not, first of all this is basically family guy, but with black people. This isn't a racist statement, I'm just saying if this were to be a good show, this would be an original spin-off using Cleveland. Instead of pumping us the same shit, but with a different family. Seth MacFarlane I thought was talented. But now all I can see is that he just repeats the same idea and repackages it.

I bet the only reason he did this is because Fox got complaints that all Seth MacFarlane seems to do is comedies about white families. This is a genuine need for concern, yes, i agree that his next comedy should have been a racially different family, but this time, it's exactly the same as family guy! What a rip-off!!!

Admitting it is a rip-off - Seth confesses through Peter

American Dad was different, it had a storyline, and had less random flash-backs, and used clever political satire. Even Trey Parker and Matt Stone haven't made a statement in their show yet about American Dad.

'Creative Genius' Seth MacFarlane

However Seth has reached his talent limit, and given us a repackaged family guy, blatantly aimed at a certain demographic, in which should be original, but it isn't! Seth give us a funny witty comedy involving a family that isn't white PLEASE!!!!

"You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it! " - Ian Malcolm

PS: Why did they turn Cleveland Jr into a stereotypical fat black kid? They hypoactive kid was more original!

'Were they high when they comissioned this?'

Critics usually end a sentence with 'were they high when they wrote/directed/commissioned this?'

This couldn't be more accurate, there are a lot of movies pitched during hollywood parties, and with these hollywood parties there are a LOT of drugs and alcohol: Thus pitching shit movies + hollywood party = Commissioned. My advice to budding writers, somehow got yourself into a hollywood party, go to a producer/director that is off their face; and pitch away! No matter how bad it is they will commission you!

So the answer to the rhetorical question is. Yes, yes they were high when they made this movie.....

Robocop 4

According to FOXBusiness there is a Robocop 4 on the way: (http://www.foxbusiness.com/story/mgm-prepares-new-robocop-movie-darren-aronofsky-direct-david-self-write/) read that page for all the detailed info. I'm concentration that it's the 4th in the instalment. What the hell is it recently with all these 4th instalments. Die Hard 4, Rambo 4, Terminator 4 and now Robocop 4? Please, leave these movies to rest in peace. Yes I've heard that Robocop 4 is going to be R-Rated. It still doesn't mean it will be that good. Sure Die Hard 4 was a fun flick (not as good as the first or the third,and Rambo 4 was awesome, however it doesn't give hhollywood to resurect every single 80's franchise, oh and 90's franchises *coughJurassicPark4cough*

Can Robocop 'cop it' after all these years?

I can't say much at this point, what with Darren Aronofsky to Direct and David Self working on the project. Darren has doen nothing that's truely impressed me, and David did Road to Perdition, which wasn't bad at all. So it could be that MGM is on to a winner and wont completely go down the tubes, as so many media sources have been claiming. However I'm not at all convinced by this, and woul wish hollywood would come out with something interesting and original, instead of going through phases of either remaking, re-booting or making a sequal after about 20 years.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Robocop, but it's not a good time for yet another zombie reurection of 80's classics.

It might suit Hollywood

Super Mario Bros movie

Yes we all knew it sucked, but have you ever looked at IMDB and checked out how many lives it ruined. Check out the Directors:

Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton. Hoskins in 2007 descibed them as "It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! Fuckin' nightmare. Fuckin' idiots."

Oh
My
GOD!

Now look at the laist of things they have done after Mario Bros:

- Skellig (2008) (in production)

- "Live from Abbey Road" (12 episodes, 2007)
- Episode #1.12 (2007) TV episode
- Episode #1.11 (2007) TV episode
- Episode #1.10 (2007) TV episode
- Episode #1.9 (2007) TV episode
- Episode #1.8 (2007) TV episode
(7 more)

- The Right Spectacle: The Very Best of Elvis Costello - The Videos (2005) (V)

She alone is just recovering from her career flop, no-one for 12 years touched her, she was probably working in a take-away shop for 12 years of her life, before someone gave her a chance again.

Now lets look at Rocky Morton:

- The Right Spectacle: The Very Best of Elvis Costello - The Videos (2005) (V)
- George Harrison: The Dark Horse Years 1976-1992 (2004) (V) (segment "This is Love")
- The M Word (2004)

Great so it took him 11 years, this is how fucked your broadcast/movie career is, if you decide that the plot to a movie such as Mario Bros is worth directing. I hope the millions of dolalrs they were probably paid by Nintendo paid off....

"The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers.
It was a fucking nightmare. "

Now lets take a look at the writers (yes there was more than one writer as well as more than one director to make this pile of shit!)

Parker Bennett, Terry Runte and Ed Solomon.

Parker has completely had a ruined career, he's never gone back to writing, and probably drowns his sorrows in some bar, either that or he's moved onto a job that suits him more...

Terry's fate is also the same as Parker, however Ed's fate is slightly better, despite most of his movies sucking:

- NowhereLand (2009)
- The In-Laws (2003/I)
- Charlie's Angels (2000)
- The Unbelievables (1999)
- Men in Black (1997)

However at least he pulled his head out of the bottle after 4 years, and wrote the entertaining film Men in Black.

This film is ultimate proof is that your career can be destroyed by one movie, however it is also proof that if yiou are determined enough, and come out of your depression, that years later you can pull yourself out of the gutter, and take a small part of your dignity pack.

This is anonymous gamer signing off today!You stay classy internets!

Ghostbusters: The Videogame (update)

It seems that Activision; publisher of Ghostbusters have dropped the game. However it is said that the game will still be coming out. However there is a bunch of things that could happen. it could come out as late as 2009, and it could become a Sony Playstation 3 exclusive. Neither of these are cool with me.

My reaction to Activision Blizzard's decision to drop Ghostbusters

First of all, Activision Blizard as they are now called are stupid enough to drop a game which is part of one of the largest franchises in the world, yeah good going, looks like all the money will have to go to some other poor soul.



This may turn out to be Sony, whom now own the Ghostbusters franchise, this means that Sony would be unwilling to let the game go on other consoles. A franchise as cool as Ghostbusters cannot be kept to just one system, it just can't. It will somehow fond itself on other platforms, it will break through barriers painfully, maybe even dangerously, but a game like Ghostbusters will find a way. So to you Mr Sony, find another publisher, and let the game run wild and free, plus you'll make more money, and ironicly too!

I think Dr Ian Malcolm said it bes: Life will find a way; Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Anyway, it seems that Ghostbuster's was the only game Activision dropped, because they dropped it along with would be classics such as:

- Brutal Legend
- Wet
- Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
- World in Conflict: Soviet Assault
- 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
- Zombie Wranglers
- Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

Looks like Activision are putting all their money of the Quantum of Solace game...

God fucking damn it, I have to wait until next year?!? Fuck you Activision, just fuck you!!

Indiana Jones 5 (ugh)

We all know how horrible Indiana Jones: and the really long subtitle name was. However it seems the 'genius' who made this movie is going to to a 5th! Great, we have a squeal to what was supposed to be the last in this film series, and now we have a 5th?!

Nuking the Fridge has become the film version of Jumping the Shark

Oh but don't worry Shia LaBeouf won't be taking over Harrison Ford's role. But that doesn't make things any better!!! For crying out loud people!!! Do we really need a 5th movie!?

The whole article can be found on the BBC's website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7549092.stm

Let's hope ford doesn't agree to to another movie.

Looking like a crazed Gordan Ramsey: 'No 5th movie without Ford' lets hope Ford won't do it...Scum

Resident Evil 5 (update?)

Well I'm calming down with Resident Evil 5. I think I have UGO GAMESBLOG to help me with my anger management. This still doesn't mean I'm sceptical about it, allot of my scepticism is still there. However some of my previous arguments I feel that It was uncalled for.

For example, the gameplay. Last time I felt that they were not evolving it as much as RE4, but then I realised RE2 was a great game, and the gameplay with in the basic controls were virtually unchanged.

"Takeuchi: When we first set out to develop the game, RE4 was not only a great game but had a great system at the core of the game. We definitely knew that we didn’t want to change that system radically, we wanted to the same core system in RE5. So that was the base that we started on and we started thinking, “What new elements can we bring to that? What new elements can we improve to make it a more complete experience.” For example, the co-op mode and brining all of those elements together to create an improved, refined, and evolved version of RE4."

So when it comes to the controls and most of the gameplay, there will be no complaining....ok minimum complaints, I still think it's cheap using recycled animations and sounds though...

This part of the interview (find the whole interview here http://gamesblog.ugo.com/index.php/gamesblog/more/resident_evil_5_interview1)

"Takeuchi: RE5 wouldn’t be the end of that story. I can tell you that in RE there’s been a mystery throughout the entire series. If you think of that mystery as being something in a box that you don’t know what it is, in RE5 we’re finally going to lift the lid on the box and you’ll be able to see what the mystery is inside. So while its not the end, maybe you can think of this game as being the beginning of the end."

This makes me very excited about playing this game, sure it wont be anywhere as epic or complete as a game like MGS4, but it's still exciting, this is probably the reason to buy RE5, I've been looking for this reason, now I've found it.

On the Degeneration side, it seems that it may be a possibility that Leon will be working alongside the B.S.A.A in Resident Evil: Degeneration.


"Takeuchi: The prupose of the B.S.A.A., that organization, is said to help stop incidents of bio-terrorism that are happening around the world. I can’t really tell you too maymore details… but I can say that obviously Sheva is an agent based in Africa and Chris is an agent normally based in America but sent to Africa. They have many agents based in many places around the world. They are a worldwide organization. That organization was founded as a result of the incident in Raccoon City; a really big bio-terrorism incident happened there in the previous games in the series. So that is the basis of that organization. "

Interesting Eh? If those guys in gas masks etc trying to counteract the outbreak are B.S.A.A, that would be awesome

However the rest of the interview I'll leave for you guys to read.

Final Fantasy VII: PS3 (update)

Ok, so what were rumours, have built up into something odd. According to KEZINS. They found a gametrailers poster with this:
The 16th April, what?!? FFVII is coming to the PS3 on the 16th, without any marketing or advertising, or is it the announcement date for the remake? I'm very excited, and if anyone has found this blog yet, so should you!

Terminator: Salvation (update)

So, another update with the Poster now out. I think it depicts a T-600, however I think It could be the prototype T-800, which has been mentioned. However the bullet hole means it must be a lower model, as T-800 can resist conventional bullets, and require something with a little more kick, such as a plasma rifle!

I think this poster has rather confirmed my fears rather than turning them on it's head. Sure I know what it's supposed to do, however it isn't being individual. I'd rather have a "B side" with something different, even if it wasn't I'd at least like to see a shadow of the T-600, anyway, any news on Terminator Salvation I'll keep you posted!

"You killed my father. You killed my mother. But you won’t kill me." - John Connor - 2018