The A-Team

Well the Plan finally came together. Now we have to wait for either a conformation of a movie or a new TV series, because they're apparently plans for both. But it's all smoke and Mirrors at the moment.

So who's been cast? Well Liam Neeson is playing Hannibal Smith, which I really like actually.

and Bradley Cooper from Alias and The Hangover will be playing Face. Well I guess he is a smarmy smug bastard so It'll do.



There are still no conformations on who is playing B.A or Murdock. But I suggest they look no further than Ving Rahmes and Jim Carry, although I heard Common was on the list for playing B.A. One word of advice, don't. The same for Woody Harrelson and Chris Pine up for the Roles of Murdock: you just know Jim Carry was born for that role.

The script is written by Michael Brandt the writer of 3:10 to Yuma and Wanted, only one of the films I liked (prize for those who can guess which one?). So I give the chances of this movie being good a 50% chance thus far until I see a trailer.

The film will be directed by the Director of Smokin' Aces, which I haven't seen due to not caring about the film, maybe I should see it before saying the project is doomed?

So you may be trying to figure out, what do I think? Am I thinking NOOOOO! Or am i thinking YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ? Or am I thinking something else?

No what's on my mind is "don't fuck this up, oh god please don't fuck this up"

Jason on Ice not happening?

Ok so according to IGN Brad Fuller from Platinum Dunes has said he can't be bothered with going out in the snow just because he didn't like it last time. Here he has a great opportunity to bring something visually and dramatically new to the Friday franchise, and all he can think about is his own ass?If you want to make soemthing good you have to suffer for your work: Film making isn't about all about making decisions in a LAY-Z-BOY, it's about making the film work properally, even if it means getting your hands' dirty.

I understand that Brad Fuller's heart is in the right place, I underrstand he want's to remake this films (god knows why, but he does). However if he's not willing to push himself to get a good product then the product will never be good.

Remember kids: Effort in = Effort out.

Christian Bale denies playing Snake

Well it seems that Bale has denied he is playing Snake in the Metal Gear Solid movie. But after his Keanu Reeves style performance as John Connor who would want him playing Snake? Bale has played some great roles, he's probably the second greatest Batman after Keaton, and it's debated if Adam West should be even in the list of movie Batman's. Which reminds me: I wonder if they'll ever make a live action Batman TV series after the 3rd film?

Anyway onto the topic at hand. Bale is a good actor, he's from the UK so that pretty much makes him great since most people who come from Ireland and England have to be good otherwise the acting schools here beat them with Nuns (yes they beat them over the fucking head with Nuns who are holding rulers so you get a double beating), so great British actors like Bale, Hopkins, (Zeta-Jones?), Connery, Craig are all up there, but they shouldn't be allowed to play hyper-real characters, because it just doesn't work. Bale has proved it with John Connor, Bale just plays a gruff moody guy with a personality of a brick. We know Bale is a good actor. He either just can't play these kinds of roles, or McG just can't direct characterisation for shit. I'd like to vote for the latter.

Make Metal Gear Solid into a CGI movie: have Hayter voice him: He's a great Voice Actor, and a decent enough screenwriter. Make the movie interesting enough and intelligent (like in the games) and make sure the CGI characters look good and we might have a great CGI film. Just don't do it live action, it's just wrong.

Although Bale has not been confronted on playing Solid Snake, he apparently plays the games. Good on ya....

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

According to Gieson Cacho of A+E Interactive blogs the way the game monitors you has been reviled, and it's pretty simple, yet horrifically complex into the way the game could pan out (lets just hope their's a UFO ending).

After you have completed the questionnaire the game seems to test your results to see if you are true to what you say. Cacho gives an example:

"For example, after the accident in which Harry loses his daughter, he’ll have to start looking for her. Eventually, Harry will come across a fork in a hallway. He can either go left and search through a door clearly marked exit or he can go right and search the bathrooms.

What’s fascinating about the Shattered Memories is that the game takes that decision into account. It says something about you when during your search for your daughter, you use the exit or the bathroom. And that’s not even saying which bathroom you enter — the men’s or the ladies’ room. Would you search the guys bathroom knowing that your daughter probably wouldn’t be there or do you freshen up?"

This sounds insanely cool and simple, yet I wonder how much it will affect gameplay? I mean I know that Cybil's physique can change from not very attractive and covered up, to a boob popping police uniform. I know her personality changes, but does this mean as you progress you can change their personalities back and fourth? Can you change what your enemies look like? Does Silent Hill change its layout as you progress?! What will this mean for walkthroughs?!

Ok thinking about this give me a headache.

This is anonymous gamer saying:

You stay classy internets

Fiendish Feet

Does anyone remember them? They were awesome!

X-Box 360 vs Playstation 3

For me there’s a clear winner here but for those considering getting the cheaper X-Box 360 lets go and compare the facts about the two consoles. No snobbish opinions here just solid fact.

So lets start with power.

Processor speed:

• The X-Box 360 has a Tri core 3.2 Ghz Xenon CPU processor.
• The Playstation 3 however has a Cell Broadband Engine (3.2 GHz POWER-based PPE with seven 3.2 GHz SPEs)

Roughly translated into ENGLISH it means that the 360 has 3 processors, whereas the Playstation 3 has 6 processors running at the same speed as the 360’s. One of the processors isn’t even used, it looks like Sony just put it there just to take the piss.

Playstation 3 = 1, Xbox 360 = 0

Ok now graphics power:

• The 360 has a 500 MHz codenamed "Xenos" (ATI custom design)
• Whereas the PS3 has 550 MHz RSX 'Reality Synthesizer'[93] (based on NVIDIA G70 architecture)

Again for those who are human beings instead of robots it means the PS3 has more potential to produce better visuals.

Playstation 3 = 2, X-Box360 = 0

Ok now the RAM

In jargon:

• The 360 has 512 MB GDDR3 @ 700 MHz shared between CPU & GPU 10 MB EDRAM GPU frame buffer memory
• Whereas the PS3 has 256 MB XDR @ 3.2 GHz 256 MB GDDR3 @ 650 MHz, GPU can access CPU memory

Ok so you want to know what that means? It means that although the 360 has more RAM it has to share it out between all it’s processes, whereas the PS3 has different RAM for different processes, which makes it less likely to crash, and give you sharper graphics in theory.

Playstation 3 = 3, X-Box 360 = 0

Ok so now we’ve looked at the engines under the bonnet, let’s look at the designs. The first thing is

The main shell:

This is the only opinionated piece here, but I think both consoles are ugly pieces of shit. The Playstation 3 looks like a Bread Bin/Console/George Foreman grill monstrosity. Whereas the 360 just looks like a PC. But just for slightly more imagination I’m going to have to give the Playstation 3 a point.

Playstation 3 = 4, X-Box 360 = 0


Ok now the cooling fan I know it sound stupid yes, but the cooling fan in the 360 sound like a wind tunnel compared to the silent purr of the Playstation 3, every 360 owner has mentioned about their noisy cooling fan, and they are very surprised that the Playstation doesn’t have this problem.

Playstation 3 = 4, X-Box 360 = 0

Controller:

The X-Box 360 controller has to be one of the most uncomfortable if all the controllers, and not to mention having to have it’s own battery pack, whereas the Playstation 3 controller not only is comfortable, but has Six-Axis control and a 15 minute charge gives it a whopping 40 hour battery life. It’s just a genius controller.

Playstation 3 = 5, X-Box360 = 0

So now we get down to the consoles abilities:

Both seem pretty much the same in ability, although the 360 has Live Arcade which gives it a point.

Playstation 3 = 5 X-Box 360 = 1

HD-DVD vs Blu-Ray:

Well this is pretty clear: Not only for your gaming enjoyment but for entertainment value. Blu Ray doesn’t just hold more memory so games companies can build bigger and better games for the PS3, but Blu-Ray is the dominant format, and so you not only get a games console but a Blu-Ray player, so non-gamers can watch their favourite movies in HD!

Playstation 3 = 6 Xbox 360 = 1

Break-Downs:

There must me nothing more annoying than a console you play often breaking down on you. So what is less likely to break down on you?

Well the statistics are far higher for a 360 getting the red ring of death that a PS3 dying, although both seem to have their problems crashing. BUT the Playstation 3 is more future proof.

Playstation 3 = 7 Xbox 360 = 1

So now we come to one of the most important thing about a games console: the games library.
Well the 360 does have an impressive games library, with some great “exclusives” however it was out a whole year or so before the Playstation 3. Not only that but most of the 360 exclusives are have either been ported to the PC or have now been ported to the PS3 and even the Wii. This makes the 360 just a PC which can do less. If anyone tries to argue about the games library on the 360 though I have four words for them: Metal, Gear, Solid, Four. Yes, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Online Play:

Despite the 360 having a wider range of online games the Playstation is catching up, and it’s catching up fast. The bonus is with the Playstation is that it's plug and play, whereas with the X-Box 360 there a monthly internet subscription charge which will slowly burn a hole in your pocket.

Playstation 3 = 8, X-Box 360 = 1

Well finally comes the price. Well there is a HUGE difference between the PS3 and the 360. The 360 is less than half the price of the Playstation 3, and that can sway gamers a lot.

Playstation 3 = 9, X-Box 360 = 2

Well just from sheer fact over opinion I can see that we have one clear winner here. You may argue that the PS3 is overpriced. Which granted it is quite expensive. However it’s great value for money: Not only do you get a superior console, but you get a Blu-Ray player bundled in too. This just tips the scales of how the Playstation 3 is just a far superior machine, and the money spent is well worth it. With a total of 9 points against 2, the Sony Playstation 3 is the champion.


Oh and if you’re still unconvinced: Metal gear Solid 4!

Resident Evil 5

Well this is embarrassing I saved but never posted my Review on Resident Evil 5! So here it is!

Resident Evil 5:

Everyone who’s anyone will have heard it, if you haven’t heard about it either in the papers/radio with its bad press about racism or the massive billboards and posters that litter our streets and highways then you probably don’t go out much or you don’t have any eyes or ears. So I’m guessing you guys want to know what I think? Well it was ok, the game itself is pretty solid, and it will take you a good 15 hours or less to complete depending on your skill level. The story is of course the run of the mill action flick, and the graphics aren’t too shabby either. But I know you guys want to know in detail about the game, so like usual I’ll split my review up into categories from gameplay right down to the graphics.

Graphics:

Ok so everyone has been raging on how amazing the graphics are, but if Metal gear Solid 4 and Resident Evil 5 had a fight, Old Snake would put Chris Redfield into hospital. The Playstation 3 can just handle more and of course this game isn’t true HD due to it having to work on both an X-Box 360 and a Playstation 3. This isn’t to say that the graphics suck, they don’t, it’s just that they could have been better that what was advertised. The layout of the graphics is the thing that gets me, I mean Jesus Christ. I understood that Resident Evil 4 pretty much had to be laid out in a grid system much like the Tomb Raider series but for fuck sake, you’d think on a next gen console they’d make the environmental graphics more interactive, you character moves so stiffly it’s like controlling a tank, I thought those controls were gone with the days of the PS2 and the Gamecube? This is a fucking next gen console, as an audience we should have the right to expect more, and expect the best, but it just comes to such a disheartenment that the graphics are so limited and stiff compared to some other games where graphical and environmental elements are so fun, and draw you into the game, rather than taking you out of it. I suppose that this is also a gameplay complaint, but fuck it.
Another major complaint is how fucking lazy Capcom care with coming up with new and original enemy animations. You can pretty much see that Capcom have just lifted the enemy animations from Resident Evil 4 and just smacked them into Resident Evil 5. It’s just a shame that a new system wasn’t implemented like a ragdoll physics engine. I mean they’re making Resident Evil 5, yeah, Resident Evil fucking 5. This is one of the most important franchises of the gaming industry, and they just take Resident Evil 4, and build it around that? I’m not badmouthing RE4 either, it’s just that RE5 is on the Playstation fucking 3 and it pisses me off.
Another slight annoyance, I suppose it could also be put under story though but WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CHRIS REDFIELD? I mean he must have had a steroid addiction between Code veronica and now because Fuck a Duck, he’s arms a larger than Rambo’s! Just what the fuck were Capcom thinking?! Is this the role model Capcom think is a good thing to follow “Hey kids do steroids, look like a freak! Then you too can be this cool!” Does anyone remember when Resident Evil was about average guys getting into situations which were almost impossible to survive? Well now it doesn’t matter because you know that Chris can handle himself, he’s a fucking tank! I wonder if that’s why he handles like one?

So the graphics look pretty, but they could have been better, I’m going to have to give the graphics an 8/10.

Gameplay:

Ok this is where the game lacks most substance. First of all the game pretty much handles like Resident Evil 4. You may be asking why that’s a bad thing? Well we’re dealing with gameplay which worked on the previous generation, but with new physics engines being invited and games like Tomb Raider: Underworld and Dead Space just getting the gameplay right in factors of flow and ease of use I just can’t give this high marks, if and when you get used to the tank like controls you can breeze through the game, especially with the piss poor A.I of the enemies, although that’s balanced out with the piss poor A.I of your supporting character in single player mode, but more on that later.
The game really only starts to shine with its extras and collectables. By playing certain modes, and collecting a certain amount of points won during each chapter you can unlock anything from Unlimited Ammo and extra weapons all the way to collectable character models and character bios, but I haven’t even mentioned the best part of the game: The Mercenaries. This game really does stand out, it’s intense and takes a long time to master the only complaint I have is the sheer lack of unlock able characters: All we have is Sheva, Chris, Jill and Wesker all of which can be unlocked over and over again with different costumes and Weapons. I’m sorry but this again shows Capcom’s lazy side: Where’s the fucking variety? I mean Resident Evil 4 had HUNK from Resident Evil 2, where’s he or other characters from previous Resident Evil? Where’s the love Capcom?

Ok now you remember I mentioned the AI of your partner? Yeah well IT’S HORRID! First of all the AI partner is extremely health conscious and cannot for the life of them judge when it’s the right time to use them. Your AI character always, ALWAYS uses up ammo faster than Stallone I swear it. I gave Sheva a full magazine once and the next 3 seconds it was gone, some magic trick huh? The AI is bound to run into trouble and only hides when you hide, and then they start fucking with your inventory, I’ve spent many times during gameplay just shouting at the television to tell my AI character to stop fucking giving me ammo I don’t even need, and taking away the ammo you do. It’s just fucking moronic. That’s why Capcom enabled online co-op, but unless you have a decent broadband connection, in which if you aren’t someone who plays online games 24/7, then again you’re fucked unless you live in the US or Korea or even Japan. However if your connection does last out online co-op and two player split screen can be awfully fun, and the main game actually (dare I say?) seems fun and enjoyable, instead of being so frustrating you feel like drilling a hole into your skull for entertainment, as at least that isn’t as painful as the horrid AI and the out-dated control scheme.

Oh and one more thing: The Inventory system: Let’s explain it. Ok you have hotkeys on the up, down, left and right on the D-Pad, but you also have non hotkeyable items in the other spaces like so: There has been so man times I needed to hotkey an item not placed in the up down left right on the D-Pad and it has cost me my life. This has to be the second most frustrating thing about this game, I just hope for Capcom’s sake that they change the gameplay for the reboot/sequel Resident Evil 6 rumoured to be set in London.

So overall the gameplay isn’t bad, it just isn’t as good as say Dead Space (one of the greatest Survival Horrors in my opinion). Capcom have tried to create tension and suspense in an action game by giving us awkward control, which isn’t the way a horror game should be built. I’m all up for challenges, but not challenges with having to wrestle with my PS3 controller. The things that really save this game is the wonderfully tense and fun mercenaries and the trinkets that any old school Resi fan will smile at. Altogether the Gameplay gets an above average 6.7/10

Story:

Ok I’m going to cut straight to the chase here. The story is better than RE4, the voice acting is a LOT better. BUT it still doesn’t mean it was good. I have seen bricks more interesting than Chris Redfield, and the storyline toward the end made me want to hit myself repeatedly with a frying pan; because at least I’d lose less brain cells that way! The story was trying to be “too epic” but it just ended up epically failing on all levels. You see Konami manage to come up with crazy stories, but manage to put so much intelligence into their scripts it’s extremely hard not to become engrossed in their 20 minute+ cut scenes. Resident Evil 5 tried to do what Metal gear Solid 4 (and generally all the MGS games) does and just fell flat on its face.

The story is just an average kind of mad scientist destroying the world, good guy stopping him explosions here and there blah blah blah. 5/10

So all in all Resident Evil 5 really deserves two scores: if you haven’t played Resident Evil yet, I’d recommend you get a Wii or a Gamecube and play Resident Evil Remake and Resident Evil 4 first, because I think this game does make a decent action game, and it’s definitely worth adding to your games collection, but you may prefer the older ones, and it’s worth checking them out before you play this one. For you guys who haven’t played a Resident Evil title yet I give this game a 7/10

For those who are hardcore fans of the series you’ll probably only want to get this for the “story” and to add to your collection. It’s a real shame, Resident Evil 5 (despite being an action game rather than a Horror game) had great promise, it’s surprisingly addictive, and I must admit is a slight guilty pleasure. BUT with it’s gameplay flaws and unintelligent, average story it really dragged the game down for me: 6/10

Ghostbusters: The videogame

Well it's been 24 hours exactly since I completed Ghostbusters: the Videogame and I must say it didn't disappoint. This is one of the greatest interactive movies in videogame history, and Ghostbusters is one of the best movies in Hollywood History so when a sequel to Ghostbusters II was announced to be a videogame there was a lot to live up to.

For those living under rocks Ghostbusters the Videogame is the sequel we all wanted but never got. It follows the Ghostbusters two years after their encounter with Vigo in 1991. So we get to see Venkman, Stanz, Zedermore and Spenglar all in their prime again, with full heads of non-grey hair. Let me set the story up for you without giving any story away. Since 1989 the Ghostbusters have been renouned as Heros, and have ridden in alongside a new Mayor who has made the Ghostbusters a public service. So you get payed by the council to trap Ghosts rather than being able to con people out of $5 000 + per ghost, you get paid a fair wage, however the up side is you don't get sued because the council have paid an insurance policy so any damage caused directly by the Ghostbuster's equipment is paid directly by anyone claiming damages. A new member of the Ghostbusters has joined the team of four making them 5. The thing is that the new member is never called by his name (they don't want to get too attached after what happened to the last guy), he never utters a word either. This 5th member of the Ghostbusters is someone who tests out Egon's new additions to the proton pack that are far too dangerous to test on the important members of the team. Ok so that's where our plot starts, but I'm not telling you anything about the game's plot, but I'll review it later. So...

Graphics:

This game isn't the best graphically, the cut scenes have problems with lip synch, there was a moment where the frame rate dropped to a frame a second, but that was completely my fault. The depictions of the team a great artistic renditions and the style isn't 100% framed for real life, but everyone’s a slight caricature which is why I can give a higher grade for the graphics. The ghosts look nice, and the atmosphere is spot on with the previous films. Sometimes it does feel like you are watching the 3rd film, where other times you can be pulled slightly out of the illusion of watching a 3rd film. The game also gave me a headache and eyestrain when I played it for long periods of time. Something I've never encountered before in a game, so epileptics may want to consult their doctor before playing.

Graphics get a solid 8.5/10

Story:

I can say that the charm, heart, and comedy of the first movie has been translated here and the game focuses more on the comedy aspect like the first film that the action in the second. The story makes you have a warm fuzzy feeling inside, however it's ruined by the ending which I feel could have had an extra scene at the end of the credits, and It just didn't feel as triumphant as the ending of the previous two. If there were other nit-picks I felt that there should have been similar credits like in Ghostbusters II.

So I'm giving the story another 8.5/10

Gameplay:


Well I have most reservations wit the gameplay. I found that the environment wasn't as destructible as I liked, and I felt that the environments were very inconsistent. For example some wooden objects can be smashed to smithereens, but the bookshelves in the NY public library can withstand a proton beam. It just made you wince at the fact that this was a game rather than the third story, and it took you out of it a bit. The largest complaint was the firehouse. Despite at first being awesome, you realise you can't interact with any of the Ghostbusters I just wan them to at least tell me to go away ,a and the fact i couldn't play Qbert as a mini-game was annoying. It was the general lack of interactivity with made me really sad. Another complaint is the huge difficulty spike toward then end of the game (if you've played it you know hat I mean). You're bombarded with a shit storm of unlimited enemies, and then you’re expected to solve the puzzle at the same time. It took me so many attempts it was unreal. I mean I like a challenge but not one that makes me want to throw the game out of the window. Thank god my love for Ghostbusters is so great that I couldn't throw something so awesome out just for throwing in one part that was a huge pain in the ass. Another complaint I had was there was no pause button for cut scenes apart from the PS button, which means I sometime skipped cut scenes which would have rather watched, especially that the in game cut scenes are not available on the movie viewer, also after a game over the same loading screen popped up, and sometimes hearing the Ghostbuster's theme over and over makes you kind hate it, and I don't want to hate the them tune.

The multiplayer game seems ok, there's a nice variety, and the fact you can play as the original Ghostbutsers on missions to bust ghosts is awesome. Not sure what other multiplayer modes there could have been really, but it made me wanting more that's all I know!

Overall the gameplay would feel better with more interactivity, and possibly some more multiplayer, other than that the gameplay is spot on!

Gameplay gets an 8/10

Sound

Well pretty much the voice acting gets 10/10 from everyone, but maybe not William Atherton (his Peck didn't sound as angry as Peck in the first film) and Alyssa Milano. Although William Atherton did quite well for his first videogame.

The main nitpick about the sound design was the lack of an original score. I mean it was very welcome having the score from the first two films, but it just seemed that some more original music would make it stand out and be a true sequel.

Sound gets a 9/10

Overall Ghostbusters: The Videogame does bring some much wanted Ghostbusters love to the franchise and it’s a welcome sequel. Though there are complaints it holds up pretty well against a lot of games. It brings the right balance of creepiness, fun, humour and action that was so perfect in the first. A few gaming nitpick rather than a plot /script/story nitpicks and it makes a brilliant third addition to the franchise unlike many sequels that have taken their sweet time to arrive.

Overall Score: 8.5/10

Alien reboot/remake/reimaging

Jesus Mothefucking Titty Barbra Streisand X-Box 360 Cunt Buckets. Why the fuck are they remaking Alien? Why remake a perfect film? The film stands up by today's standards. It's still scary by today's standards, it's a pretty damn mothefucking intelligent thriller (as far as monsters in space can get), it's well acted and the characterisation is pretty much dead on. Like almost all remakes it doesn't need fixing, so why try and fix something that hasn't aged at all?

Ok sure the computer screens are old and have 80's graphics, and sure the explosion at the end wasn't as realistic as today's explosions in space (lol what?). But that's all I can think of which is dated. Everything translates fine, I mean this is as bad as if the remade The Terminator or remade Citizen Kane, The Wickerman or Butch Cassidy (oh wait <_<). Maybe to some extent it's as bad as if they decided to remake Jaws, but at least Jaws is a novel adaptation, and three’s enough unused material in the novel to make a pretty decent remake. Alien wasn't a novel: It was a completely individual piece of art, and it just doesn't make a blind bit of sense.

I cannot urge people more to avoid seeing the alien remake at all costs. Seriously if no-one goes and sees it. They wont make a sequel. This movie must NOT make a profit! I urge any fan of the Alien series that comes across this post to pass it on to another Alien fan until all Alien fans are united against the remake.

Dear God: it's given birth to a terrible remake!

Project Natal

Ok so Microsoft have their own version of the Sony's iToy. However this time the camera focuses on capturing the moment that the gamer makes without wires and without controls. It's endorsed by "gamer" Steven Spielberg and it may even be out for a new console; but more on that later.

But first of all I've already spotted a problem. Put yourself in this situation. You're in the living room and then someone walks in front of the camera, then what? What happens if you are just happily swinging your arm like a tennis racket and then someone else comes in front of you and starts moving around like an idiot making your character on screen act like a complete twatter? What happens if someone you don't want is accidentally added as a second player as they want to sit and watch you play?

All these questions I'd like answering please? It just seems that Microsoft have tried to get one up on Nintendo and utterly failed.

First of all games that require this technology are going to be harder and thus more expensive to code, and I don't want to mention that you'll look more of an idiot with no motion controller in you hand rather than a wiimote. At least people can see that you're playing wii rather than performing some sort of interruptive dance.

So we know Natal is coming, and we know that some of these faults will be altered. BUT what will be the impact on the console market?

Well I reckon it could go several ways: First of all it could go the way of the Sinclair C5, and we'll all laugh it off in a year. Or it could be successful. Microsoft has two options: Keep it as an add-on with few select games coming out for it. Or they could bring it out as their new controller for the next X-Box.
Well the more sensible is to release it on the 360 to test run it on audiences, if it's a success consider it for the next X-Box.
HOWEVER rumours are circulating that the next X-Box is only a year away and that the peripheral will be boxed with it as a next gen controller. This may be the smartest or the dumbest thing Microsoft could ever do. It could push Sony out of the market, forcing them to lose money with having to quickly build a competitor. OR it could be a horrid expensive disaster. Especially since the "console wars" have only really just heated up, and next gen games have only started to get interesting last year.

So as a game am I excited about project Natel? No, not really. I can hardly get excited about it, neither can I get excited about the Wii's motion plus. But I guess I'd have to sample the new technology first hand before I got anywhere near the excitement when the Revolution (Wii) was first announced.


Well my fingers are getting tired. This is Anonymous Gamer signing off:


You stay classy Internets

Friday 13th Part 2

Ok so now Rob Zombie is doing a sequel to his "re-imaging" I decided to see if there was a sequel under way for the Friday the 13th reboot. Of course there is.

Now the reboot I actually enjoyed. I thought Jason was slicker this time around. I enjoyed that he was now more like Rambo that just another Michael Myers.

This time around they're "making the kills cleverer" I have no idea what a "clever kill" is. I guess Jason's going to study mathematics so he can throw his machete in such a way that it hits someone square in the head...Oh wait that's already been established that his archery skills are second to none. Then again what the hell else do you expect Jason to do day to day? I mean he's got an abandoned camp around the corner from his hole. He might as well practice his archery, go canoeing and play chess with himself. Lets remember this guy is disfigured - not retarded.

That’s why I like the first three movies, and surprisingly the reboot. I like the character of the grieving deranged mother. I like the irony of the son still being still alive, and I like the fact that like the mother the son is also a tragic villain. I mean he’s a product of society; he could be any of us as we were kids getting bullied if the conditions were right. The fact is he’s not retarded, he’s just had to survive, and hasn’t had psychological counselling. He just wants to live his life alone at Crystal Lake to grieve and kill anyone who disturbs him and anyone who resembles the kind of people who killed his mother. If I were a serial killer I’d probably be Jason.

Anyway another plotline is that we will see Camp Crystal Lake in winter in the snow which to me seems they are visually going to bring something new to the table. I've alsways been a fan of blood in the snow, so I'm visually looking forward to see what they do.

Apart from that all I can guess for now is that this is going to top the other film, and hopefully be less clichéd, but I think those are pretty high hopes. This is another Michael Bay produced Horror, there’s only so much you can expect.

What I'd like to see is actually more of a Rambo type movie. I mean imagine the scene from First Blood when the police are hunting him in the forest. Ok, now imagine the police hunting down Jason and Jason taking them all out one by one? How tense and cool would that be?

Ok now imagine that and put it in the beginning of the second X-Files movie where the FBI are hunting for a dead body in the snow. See where I’m coming from with this?

Either that or do “A Friday the 13th Christmas” where Jason is visited by the spirits of his victims and told the true spirit of Christmas, then ending up playing with some orphans (while throwing boobytrapped snowballs) and having roast bear that he just wrestled single handily. That would be awesome.

Fuck it, as long as it has "Let it snow let it snow let it snow" in the film, like in Die Hard then I'll be happy.

Halloween 2

So I've only just heard that Rob Zombie is going to be making a sequel to his below par "re-imaging" of Halloween. Seriously Its been like I've had my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears, but then again these films don't really catch my eye, I'm not much of a horror fan, and haven't seen beyond Halloween, and 15 mins of Halloween H20. As I type I'm trying to get up as much input about this film as possible.

For once I truly believe that a (Hollywood) film-maker in this era is making a movie because he enjoys making movies. I'm not sure about this but I don't think Halloween did well at the cinema: Critics certainly hated it. Then again that isn't the last time that a film made money, critics hated it, and it now has a sequel in the works. It's not the first time something like that has happened: No names mentioned...


So what I have got so far is this trailer:



So what this looks like is every single slasher flick put together. Along with the non nonsensical things like relatives of Mike Myers which ruined the last series. Sure it looks creepy, but then again it wouldn't be doing its job as a fucking trailer if it didn't! When I first heard that Rob was going to make it "more realistic" and for most of the time it was going to focus on characterisation (like 5 minutes ago). I felt that maybe this would bring something new to the table. What is clear is that NOTHING new is being brought to the table and that Rob Zombie hasn't changed at all. If anything he's got stale and worse. How many slasher films does this look like? Yeah just about ALL of them.

Well I'm glad Rob has made his overglorified fan films, because he can now sit down with a few friends, break open some beers and popcorn and watch the film while he spurts anecdotes about certain scenes, because no -one else will give a shit about them.

So I wonder if there's anything for me to salvage from this junk heap of a film?

Well no...nothing so far. I'm giving this one a miss...

Could this be THE greatest movie EVER?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Ok so I haven't been keeping up with the latest on this reboot reimaging shitty thing. So you may ask, has my thoughts changed on this reimaging? Well yes, and it isn't for the better.

When I first heard about this Billy-Bob Thornton was up for the role. Now it seems that things have changed. First of all; the director is a music video director; why put such an important film in the genre to such an unworthy director? Was it because he was cheap? Or was it because you wanted Nightmare on Elm Street to look like an MTV music video? Seriously what were they thinking?

Inexperienced: Samuel Bayer

Secondly this film is again produced by Michael Bay. Why trust all these horror franchises to Michael Bay?! Why remake them? Ok Amityville Horror was actually a good remake, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was actually quite good too, and yeah Friday the 13th was better that a ton of the sequels, and I liked this Jason the best out of the previous incarnations of Jason. So I guess I could enjoy this flick.

Everyone loves to hate: Michael Bay

Scum

I suppose this could end up better than Nightmares 2 through 6, but probably not as good as New Nightmare, and of course NOTHING can beat the classic original Nightmare film. I'd be surprised if this film makes me think twice about sleeping.

So what's the good? Well the actor who plays Freddy looks like he could play a pretty creepy Freddy, I can't wait for the new make-up effects, apparently you can now see bones from where the flesh has completely burned through. The actor isn't too bad, but I'd say it's a step down from Billy-Bob. I guess I'll have to see his performance, but according to early script reviews there are NO "This is God" moments: These are the moments that worked so well in the original, this is what made Freddy so scary and menacing. On the other hand I've heard they've narrowed now the wisecracks to about two in the whole film, and apparently it's written to be more like the original Freddy. Another thing that caught my eye from early script reviews is that Freddy is back as a child molester, apparently raping Nancy as a 13 year old with a garden utensil, now if that's in the script: THAT's FUCKED UP.

Fucking Creepy: Jackie Earle Haley is the new man of your dreams.

Ok so Freddy doesn’t sound too bad: It might even paint him in a darker light, but I think I’ll have to see clips of the film, if not see the film to pass judgment.


Ok so now the stuff I’m not so keen on. Apparently this film starts with a teen party. The trouble is that EVERY FUCKING SLASHER FLICK HAS A TEEN PARTY!! Can’t they fucking break the mould and start with a really creepy beginning like the original had. Something that sucks you in like that odd and bizarre moment? This beginning is completely unoriginal and just popcorn junk.

The next is that all the characters are stereotypes, now It the original you did have stereotypes, but some were less subtle. Most of them were just ordinary teenagers trying to live out their every day lives. Now I don’t mind Nancy being a Goth chick, seriously, I really have nothing against Goth chicks, it kinda makes Nancy stand out more (despite being an intellectual smack in the face). I’m fine with that. It’s the fact that every one of her friends are stereotypes instead of having some true identity and personality traits, it looks like it’s all going to be done through characterisation, but through more visual imagery.

The next is something I’m battling between “is that god or bad?” some deaths and attacks are retained, but some have been changed, I know for some weird unexplained reason all her friends have had a name change, and now one of the most iconic kills in the film has been changed: Apparently the guy playing the glen type character gets killed by having poisonous spiders poured over him and he’s bitten/eaten to death. This isn’t as awesome or as iconic as the sequence when Glen gets pulled into the bed and fountains of blood just gush out of the hole in the bed, why change one of the best sequences in the original film? I mean they’ve kept the ceiling death, and the attack in the bathtub; why not keep the blood geyser?

So I suppose I should shorten and summarise what I think of the new Nightmare film so far? Well I can be honest to say that it will be better than Nightmare’s 2 through 6. Hey it may even surpass number 7 into becoming my second fav Nightmare film. There’s no way in hell you can get worse (actually there is: see Camp Blood for Details) than Freddy’s Dead: the Final Nightmare, and the character of Freddy seems to be a lot better than it was done in Nightmare’s 3 through to 6. BUT this said still doesn’t mean this piece of shit will even hold a candle to the first film. I’d be surprised if it made any new ground, and made this new series of Nightmare films worth seeing.

PS: Where is Nancy's Dad in all of this?

Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles Eyes-On review

Hello, another update. With the E3 footage of Darkside Chronicles in place I thought I'd give my initial impressions of the game.

Visually this along with Dead Space Extradition has to be one of the most beautiful games visually for the Wii. This is the standard in which all vidogames made for the Wii should strive for. The detail is amazing for a console that is basically an X-Box with motion controls.

Gameplay wise it seems pretty similar to the Umbrella Chronicles, but with a few differences which I think are required. First of all I feel that the second player on screen during single player play is a great help, I think that this addition alone has made the game feel like you always have a second player. With Umbrella Chronicles I always felt that when you had two players you didn't feel that you had a partner, now I feel this not only ads logical sense but it adds not only to the atmosphere but also to the gameplay. The only thing I have against it is that the AI always seems to run into trouble rather that judging the situation properly, hopefully this AI character wont share a lifebar. The dramatic camera builds a better atmosphere because you have no control over it most of the time; I feel that this could come to a frustrating disadvantage through when it comes to finding hidden ammo and items.

As far as the sound design goes I feel that the voice acting is top notch, and Steve isn't as whiney, I did catch a glimpse of Alfred Ashford and Alexia, and I hope to FUCK that they give them decent voices, oh please may they have decent voices.

All in all this game doesn't seem to bad for what it is, but what it is is another on rails shooter, and I'm not a fan of those, it just seems like FPS for fucktards, or those with not much time on their hands, which works well in arcades, but not if you want a game with a lot of levels to complete. This game I'd say is definitely worth checking out if you want to play a mature game on the Wii, but if you don't like on rails, this game wont change you mind about how retarded they are.

Metal Gear Solid: two new games!

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker has been announced as the sequel to Metal gear Solid 4. Unlike the PSP title Metal Gear Solid: Rising this title is written and directed by Hideo Kojima himself. Not much is known about this new game except that the game is in 1979 and there are 4 big bosses, I am truly, truly confused. The graphics look on par with MGS2, but not as great as MGS3. I'm not too sure if this will be a great prequel, but I’ll keep on looking out for a proper game, like Metal gear Solid 5.

On the other hand another game which isn't directed or written or produced by Kojima called Metal gear Solid: Rising will be coming for net generation consoles. It features Raiden as the main character. It is not known if it is a prequel or sequel to MGS4. My only guess is that it is a prequel because of the definitive ending of MGS4, also the fact that it shows Raiden in his Ninja gear only adds to the fact that it will be a prequel.



Here are the trailers for both:

Video Games | Metal Gear Solid: Rising | E3 09: Debut Teaser

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Video Games | MGS: Peace Walker | E3 09: Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Silent Hill Shattered Memories: Eyes on review

Well I thought I'd give my initial thoughts on Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. When the game started up I really thought this game was going to be lame. Things were slow, and things just weren't scary. The atmosphere was relaxed, and I wish I had felt some sense of panic; Harry Mason just really didn't seem that frantic about finding his daughter. The puzzles seemed quite good, it seemed like they were very grounded in reality, it didn't seem that the felt forced.
However when the icy otherworld came into focus the uneasiness slowly trickled in. At first I didn't feel much tension, how can you when the game has treated you so well? However as soon as the enemies poured in and attacked me I felt extremely panicked. The game suddenly started to win me over. It isn't really a feeling I've felt too strongly in previous instalments (especially the later instalments), which may or may not be a good thing. From what I've played I'm really not sure if this feeling will last and bring on the feeling of wondering what is around the next corner I'm on a balance beam on that one.

On the note of sound and visuals, the score is of course well written, and I wasn't sure if the first part of the game was to welcome me home, or if it was to make me feel relaxed, but if that's the case: it did it's job. The voice acting is terrible, it's maybe just above the horrid dull voice acting of Silent Hill 2: I just don't see why it's so hard to find decent voice actors now-a-days? But like Silent hill 2: It is something I can forgive, just as long as the rest of the sound design doesn't epically fail as its job.

The visuals are not the best visuals ever to be released on this console, but some effects such as lighting and ice has impressed. I'm not too impressed so far about the lack of fog, but I'm getting used to darkness replacing it. From what I played the whole town is rendered completely off that bat. From the detail it is rendered in it's an amazing achievement.

All in all I can say I'm on the fence on this one: On the whole some stuff seems quite far and alien from the franchise, but I look forward to playing the thing in Autumn 2009.

Terminator Salvation

Well this review I'm going to separate into "What impressed me" and "What certainly did not"

WHAT WAS IMPRESSIVE:

The Landscape and Atmosphere:

In previous Terminator films we have only had brief (yet awesome, bar T3) glimpses of the post-nuclear war. This time we see things in 2018 in the daylight. Everything is just awesome, the look is just perfect, if there is one thing McG is good at, it's that he has great team of concept artists, his vision of post-nuclear landscape was just brilliant. I can imagine the land become more and more like the war we see in T1 and 2 in sequels.

The Special Effects:

For the first time CGI was used properly, and the physical props were great: The machines looked like they had been through war, they weren't shiny like in previous instalments, it looked like these machines had seen war. The renditioning of the original T-800 101 model was just awesome to see, and for the first time the CG T-800 felt organic, unlike the horrid CGI T-850's in T3.

The Terminator Designs:

I loved the design of the T-600, 700 and of course the 800 series, the HK's as well as the concept of Marcus Wright, even the glimpse at the psychotic shot circuit’s from T3 made me smile slightly. These were all awesome designs: I've always wondered what the T-600s looked like, all these designs exceeded my expectations.

The Script:

Ok now on paper this script wasn't as bad as it could have been: The was at least no cheap jokes like Arnie putting on the Elton John glasses, I enjoyed the general storyline. It wasn't a bad storyline. It's a welcome addition to the backstory of the future war. There were some nice references to Kyle's speach to Sarah in T1, and it didn't utterly dissapoint. I do have some complaints, but that will wait until I get to part 2.

The Character of Marcus Wright:

If there was anything salvageable about the characterisation it was the character of Marcus Wright: he at least had some qualities that you gave a shit about, and at least you were interested in him. This Terminator I was impressed with, and it was interesting that he was a proto-type for the T-800's, and it didn't seem forced, it seemed logical what the machines would do, and the experimentation continued on humans that were captured.

Small Nods to the Fans:

There were little nods here and there that I thought were quite cool, and imaginative, one such thing comes at the end when John Connor gets his scar on his eye: I felt it was an imaginative touch, and something I wasn't expecting.

The End Fight Scene:

Despite lacking suspense, the fight was pretty cool I can't deny that. There was one suspenseful part that came with the fight, and I thought it was executed well. Bravo.

Ok now we move on to

PARTS THAT WERE REALLY REALLY CRAP:

The Terminator Designs:

Despite having some awesome Terminator Designs I felt there were some Terminator Designs which made me angry: The first were those motorcycle Terminators. They lacked so much imagination it was unreal, the whole chase scene with tehm in angered me beyond the point of enjoying any scene that they were seen in. McG you suck for choosing this concept design.
Another design that I was disappointed in was the harvesters. The harvesters are part of the mytho, and I'm not saying that they shouldn’t have been in the film; but the design of the harvester's just lacked imagination, it felt like it was a rejected decepticon design. It just made my heart fall heavy.

The Script:

Ok despite the script on paper being ok, did anyone test this out by reading it out loud? The dialogue wasn't god damn awful, but it certainly wasn't organic, or thought provoking in any sense of the matter. The story was so unintelligent, but to be honest what action film is now-a-days? The action scenes for most part was utterly predictable, and despite trying to make this part of the Terminator trilogy there were too many action scenes, and ones which just felt too safe. I never for a moment felt like the characters were in danger. take the car chase in The Terminator: The chase didn't seem too scripted, you were kept on your toes the whole time, and you felt that Kyle and Sarah were in danger the whole time: This time you didn't feel any real danger. Another factor for me was the child safe lack of blood. Forgive me for looking back of the history of 12-As but isn't a 12-A allowed to be like a 15: It just warns parents that this shouldn't be suitable for those below 12? Therefore shouldn’t at least a bit of gore be allowed? Even T3 had a guy with an arm through his chest! I'm not complaining about the lack of swearing, but with the blood and gore combined with action sequences that had the PS3 in mind I really can't say much.
The script should have been re-written to have more organic dialogue, better characterisation and fewer, but better crafted action sequences, and at least some sort of violence which had an impact. Like it's T3 this had the spit shine of Hollywood all over it (not to say that Terminator isn't a Hollywood movie franchise).

The Characters:

The Characterisation in this script was awful, I didn't give a shit about any of the characters, there was nothing to make me give a shit about. The only characters I felt slight connection to was the young Kyle Reece and Marcus Wright. John Connor was bordering on Keanu Reeves, and everyone else was just a 2D character.

The Acting:

Ok we have some good actors here, but none of them seemed to be putting any effort into things. Yet again the only actors that seemed to be doing their job was Sam Worthington and Anton Yelchin. Everyone else seemed pretty stock and didn't evoke any connection with you. Despite all my other complaints this was the largest disappointment.

The Music Score

Like most of the storyline and characters, I couldn't give a crap about the music score. The music was average at best, and didn't really contain the original theme tune. It would have been great to get some 80s synth or a remix of the music used in the future scenes of The Terminator. You know the fast paced synth? That would have been awesome. Instead we get very little, and very drab sound design. Something passable, but nothing that gives this movie individuality, or even anything similar with the original two. I really felt that I could add at least another half a star to this film if there was a strong soundtrack, the only good part was the fact that john Connor still listens to the same music as he di when he was a kid; that made me smile.

ALL IN ALL

Ok so Terminator Salvation was better than I thought it was going to be, it's certainly surpassed T3, but it fell nowhere near the great T1 and T2; which stand out fine on their own. But thinking about it: Nothing can, no matter how anyone could try you can't reach that standard again, it may not even be possible with James Cameron taking the reigns again. T1 and T2 are unbeatable, I'm not sure if comparing this film to T1 and 2 is fair, how can you reach perfection again? Then again I do think it is fair to criticise this movie, it could have been so much better, but I feel that I still welcome it as an addition to the series. I don't think it's as bad as Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I'd certainly swap T3 with T4 as a third movie if I had the chance.

On one last final final note (seriously) I know A T5 will be on it's way. I really hope that James Cameron can have some sort of creative input, like be the casting director, or the script writer, or even produce the movie, or if God exists: Direct the next film, take some creative control. His baby needs him, and if T5 wants to win some disillusioned fans and critics the Terminator series needs Jim more than any other film right now. Just someone who can have some control, can tell people where they are going wrong, bring some human drama, some thought evoking philosophy, and some heart stopping action. Maybe then T5 wont just be another possible 3.5 star film only slightly surpassing the last by half a point. I have accepted the inevitable: A storm is coming. Let's hope it's one we can really enjoy.

This film is Terminated with three battered severed T-800 skulls out of 5 shiny ones.