Hollywood has gone too far!

THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE!

Ok, so I can cope with all those 80's remakes. But when a 1968 children's classic; Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was announced that a remake could be on its way this stops me in my tacks. I think why?! This means that they are going to pull another Willy Wonka?!

Now I'm asked If I liked Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and if I think It's better than the original, but I can't say it's anything like the original, one is a musical, one is a film adaptation, you can't compare. I must admit that the new one didn't seem to have that magic that the musical one did, however it did have more scenes from the book compared to the original (which Roald Dahl hated). I do own both on DVD, and although the film is no way a masterpiece It isn't the worse interpretation of the book, it still had some pretty scary stuff for children like those squirrels dragging that girl to her doom. if I was a kid I'd be scared of squirrels.

Squirrels are the enemy, they must be killed!

Anyway Chitty Chitty Bang Bang doesn't need an update, nor did Willy Wonka, it's a timeless classic and shouldn't be remade. What is it about 'today's audience' which is apparently so obsessed with having everything aesthetically pleasing and so very plastic? What is wrong with the restoration technique that Disney uses on their classic films? I mean it's like remaking snow white, and using Pixar to do it. It just doesn't work, and should never be done!!!!

This is equal to having a remake of Alien or Terminator, Or Citizen Kane or even Jaws, there are hundreds more films, but then my blog post would be too long.

Why do 'today's audience' care more on how a film looks rather that what a film is? What have we done with our kids? I mean I grew up with Chitty and I never thought that the film was lame. Neither should kids now, and to be honest I don't think kids do care. If the Star Wars prequels never came out would there be a rush of kids demanding prequels?! Would all these reboots and re-imagings of older movies be missed if the never happened, the answer is no. The real answer is that Hollywood is really lacking in true writers, and true talent. To get a Hollywood film which is at a high standard really takes a long time, and I think 98% of Hollywood’s talent really should not be in film until they realise their faults of mashing they keys on a keyboard until the letters fall in a place where something seems to make some sort of sense. We have directors which rely heavily on chroma key technology and CGI, and misuse them as the tools they should be used as, and just add CGI because it's flavour of the month. They concentrate on making the film look good, and not on if the film has the actors for the job, or if the story is worth telling. We have actors that look pretty, but can't act for fuck.

So why is this? Simply; cost. You do a shitty script because it's usually cheaper (not true look at all the classic films that were done on little to no budget), you hire either a famous director who's losing their edge because it attracts fanboys to see the movie, or you hire a cheap director with little to nothing in his portfolio to prove themselves, you rely on green screens and CGI, because somehow CGI has become less expensive that doing things for real, even though doing things for real looks and feels better. All because of the budget. Well if they put money on a film which would actually be good rather than some generic marketable bullshit then maybe the industry wouldn't be in so much trouble with piracy etc.

So on with the news of a Chitty remake:

Michael G Wilson, who co-owns the rights to the story, told The Sunday Telegraph

"There may be a new film of Chitty, we will have to see"

That's just bullshit, you already got the stage version, why go for a new version? Just so you can sell Happy Meals, shitty computer game editions, DVD and blu-ray discs, and just for fun rape our childhoods. Our assholes are sore from all these reboots/remakes/ re-imagings, stop my ass can't take much more of a pounding!!!!

Waving Goodbye to sanity; the original Chitty Cast must be pissed off.