Dinosaurs: Bioengineering and Mad-Science

The question that is on nearly every 8 year old’s mind, and every 20 something’s geek guy’s mind is: “Can We have a dinosaur theme park? Can we bring back the dinosaurs please?”

The answer lies in two forms “Can We?” and “If we can, should we?” I will try and answer both these questions as quickly as possible in under 1000 words. For me to answer these we have to look into the most up-to date theories by scientists that has changed the way we think about Dinosaurs.

Let us skip to Extinction theory first. Scientists now believe that Dinosaurs were NOT wiped off the planet, only a handful of species were wiped off the face of the earth that day 65 million years ago. It was in-fact that a lot of dinosaurs adapted to the harsh aftermath, and became smaller, more agile, grew thicker feathers and gained the ability to fly in most cases. Yes dinosaurs still live amongst us as birds, no they didn’t die out at all, today we are feeding, hunting, and killing dinosaurs. They’ve just changed slightly over the last 65 million years.

Now how do we know that dinosaurs are birds? First of all the skeletal structure is far more bird like, even the skeleton had air holes inside the bones which made dinosaurs like tyrannosaurs run faster. More recently it has been found that most dinosaurs at least by a certain period of time were covered in downy fuzz. Yes dinosaurs were fuzzy, not scaly. This may indicate that Dinosaurs had evolved a warm-blooded system quite early on.

The fearsome, yet fuzzy Dilophosaurus

These proto-feathers may have disappeared on some of the larger species, leaving just a few bits of small hair like structures, such as elephant hair. We now also come to more modern evidence. If you kill a turkey and boil away its feathers and flesh you wi

ll see that apart from a few tiny differences the skeletal structure of that turkey is almost identical to that of viloceraptor; Almost undisputed evidence that some dinosaurs still survive today.

The family resemblance, you must be twins: A Velociraptor (above) and a Turkey (below)

Dinosaurs were not giant birds though, they were reptilian too: In fact Tyrannosaurs soft tissue was uncovered in March 2005 including red blood cells. What was found was that T-Rex share similar ancestor not just to ostriches, but with alligators too. This shows the missing link and shared recent ancestor between Birds and Reptiles.

So we’ve explored what the closest relatives are, lets look more into that soft tissue discovered in March 2005. Well there was blood vessels, and red blood cells, and maybe a few proteins. But any DNA was way too broken to get anything. You see even if there was a decent amount in tact (which is highly, highly improbable), you have to remember that there is only a 1% difference between us and dolphins, less that 1% with us and chimps. So finding a unique strand of DNA which would be useful in bio-engineering a dinosaur like the way they did it in the novel and film “Jurassic Park” would be near enough impossible.

However there is a fly in the ointment of impossibility. Scientist have been screwing around a lot recently with DNA, now they’re making half human half animal hybrids for medical purposes, something morally I think is just fucked up. However it means we have the power to map, and alter DNA strands and grow new animals. Which means that in the future we will have the technology to map out a species DNA, and tinker with it virtually, and get a 3D model of what kind of creature you’ll get on the other side, in which you could produce in a lab.

BUT there are many spanners in the works of mad-science. We don’t know enough about genetics to find out what genes control every animal’s behaviour, if they are omnivores, carnivores or herbivores, what their vocal chords will develop to etc.

Even if we did would scientists mess around with the genetics to build an accurate model, would they tinker with things, and how would the scientists truly know the behaviour and sounds and noises etc of these great creatures? Would T-Rex be a hunter of a scavenger (something which still makes some scientists angry). Would they clone a raptor and teach it to hunt and kill, or would they train it to sit, and play with the ball?

All these things have to be addressed. Then the huge question is, is it right to bring back a species back though the evolutionary stage to a time where it was not meant to survive? Would recreating a dinosaur for science be ok, but banned for commercial use? What would we learn? That we can be absolute douchbags when it comes to nature? Would this be our downfall? Would this mean some mad-scientist would start engineering Bio-organic Weapons or Xenomorphs or even giant crabs?! Where would it end?

Can the human fascination with these lumbering creatures ever be quashed, or is this technology on the horizon too tempting for one scientist? Because that’s all it takes: One scientist!

We’re already creating foetuses that are half human half animal, what is stopping us from taking the step into bio-engineering crazy creatures, maybe ones that resemble dinosaurs?

BUT let us say that we

- Got a turkey

- Got a super computer DNA sequencer from the future

- Got all the DNA facts down to a T, and after hundreds of dead raptors who “gobbled” like a turkey, or has some sort of horrid disability (like not being able to walk, because its eyeballs were on its feet).

- Made sure we bought it up as much as possible as far away from human nurture to behave like the killing machine it’s supposed to be

Ok we have a live velociraptor. We still have problems.

- Adaptability to our colder climate

- Adaptability to different meats

- Behavioural problems, this species hunted in packs, it needs brother and sisters that it wouldn’t try to eat or attack.

- We have moral dilemmas discussed before, and now we have a new species, do we give it the right to breed? If so how do we provide enough genetic differences for it not to inter-breed. Or do we deliberately cause inter-breeding? How would we control that species? We’ve not actually created a creature YET that could breed, but if we did, you see there are far too many things to address when you bioengineer a dinosaur, or any other creature for that matter.

The trouble is that everyone wants to see a dinosaur, without any of the consequences, and I’m afraid that there are consequences not just to that species, but to every species on the planet.

I’m afraid we’ll have to stick with Walking with Dinosaurs.

"You spent so much time wondering whether you could. You never considered whether you should."

-Dr.Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)

Google OS review

Well I booted up Google Chromium, the beta of Google Chrome OS.

So far with Google Chromium things aren't looking at all that impressive. I've tried it out, and to be honest, I'd rather just download the browser!

Um, well lets start with the possitives?

Well the boot up is about 7 seconds, and I hear they want a 3 second boot up, and good luck to them. It's so nice not to have the annoying splash screens, and loading up, Google just cuts the bollocks and gives you the login screen.

Another positive is that the OS is simple to navigate, you can switch from the net to an app, and use the app while surfing, however I can see a problem with those who can't multitask as well, and things might get too distracting. It'll be interesting what customisations you can use in the future for this feature. Things run simply and they run slickly.

On that notes, the apps are pretty piss poor, apart from a few quirky apps like twitter etc, and the "google docs" app, which is meh to say the least, I hate they cheat with their games, and their apps are too light, I feel that they might break any second. The games are just SWF games streamed of their browser, no app window, just a new tab in a browser, and It makes me feel cheated. Hopefully someone will programme some decent FPS games without having to play flash abed games. Not saying flash based games are bad, I'm addicted to miniclip games. But you can't beat PC games if you're going to use a laptop/desktop based system to play games. Google have to acknowledge that if they are to succeed in a very dominant market their nintendoesque business strategy just isn't going to work for a niche. This OS will have to do and preform just as well as any other PC desktop and laptop if they are going to succeed in the OS market. Although they don't need to, their adverting revenue is a money monster.

I know Microsoft does plan to build Microsoft Office Lite as an optional app download, but I'd rather trust a non-cloud app.

I really feel that this OS really needs compatibility to be installed on a basic PC, and to have full functionality offline as well as online. I know you shouldn't really own a web based OS if you're not online, but sometimes shit happens and you're left without internet, then what? How the fuck do I access all my private data then?! I really hope that the "cloud" is just there as a back up of your solid state drive, because I really would like a hard copy of my data.

All in all I do want Google to provide me with a simple, easy and online ready OS, but I just want the solidness of a Windows or Mac OS. I want to be able to surf the web, play DVD/Blu-Ray, be able to have a HDD or any other device accessible, I want the choice of the cloud stealing my information. I want to be able to download MP3s, edit movies, edit photos, make flash animations, burn professional DVDs, I want to play Bioshock 2 or 3 on there. I want it all... To be honest if google don't do that I'm sure Microsoft will, with a Windows 7 lite or some crap like that :/ But Google OS needs to be so much better to impress...

My last impression on Google Chrome OS so far is that If you're a Yuppie who wants to Skype and Office Lite his way through twittering their facebook off, or you're a paris hilton spoilt brat who wants to twitter and facebook her prada bag off with her cute pink Google OS notebook showing it off to her equally superficial bratty friends, then be my guest. If you want a real OS that will do the heavy lifting, then stick with your PC or Mac.

Fuck You Google, Fuck You!

Ok so chrome has been revealed, and yeah, it worries me.

First of all you can't JUST install it on an PC: First of all it doesn't rely on "DVDs" or "Hard-Drives" now everything is stored on the "Cloud" s concept that sounds so terrifying to someone like me it's unbelievable. The cloud is a concept of everyone on the internet being connected to the same central hub, in which all your document and processing needs, are well processed and stored. So you don't have to worry about running out of HDD space, you just store it for everyone to access, so long as they have your password....fucking idiots.... Another worrying thing is that Google already have a scary amount of browsing data you have stored, right from what you search, to the sites you visit, where you live etc. So now they want all your pictures, video, IM conversations and documents such as your latest accounting details, or even a screenplay you're writing. Sure you can access it ANYWHERE but that means ANYONE else can look at it as long as they have the right password. Hacking used to require complicated Torjan Horses or 1337 hacking skills or even just physically stealing your computer. Now all it takes is for someone to access your password or of course the usual stealage of the super light notebooks Google Chrome OS will be packaged with.

FUCK SAKE

If Google just allowed HDDs to be recognised then we could keep a hard copy of our data, and maybe they will due to the super light notebooks having solid state drives. hopefully as Chrome OS is open source we'll get a nice hack or an update to install in PCs which want to switch from Windows to Chrome, but don't want to upload every document to the web, especially for people in the UK with piss poor broadband connections....

What happens to those with no financial means for mobile broadband? I thought google were the "free" and "easy" company.

I may be paranoid, but fuck you google fuck you!

Edward Woodward R.I.P

Edward Woodward 1930 - 2009 R.I.P dude :(

The Long History of Resident Evil (Final Part)

First of all an apology, this site has been playing up and not posting anything. So here I now present to you the final part of my history lesson!

Not only that but a Wii exclusive game was announced at the same time. Finally revealed to be a FPS rail shooter.

In 2007 Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles was released. This went into further detail about the Umbrella Corporation and its downfall allegedly in 2003. The game was commercially successful, despite being slated by critics, although it’s said to be the best FPS Resident Evil to date. In 2008 RE5 was delayed for a further year, and fans became wrestles, trying to decide whether to buy the game or not. Especially when in 2007 the poorly voice acted, more action orientated version of the classic games such as Resident Evil 0, Resident Evil, and Resident Evil 3 were ruined in The Umbrella Chronicles.

2009 came about and the first game cannon CG film was released: Again we had both Leon and Claire team up to fight another T-Virus outbreak in 2005, it also introduces us to Umbrella’s successor in evil: The Tricell Cooperation. Degeneration was praised by fans, and was made into a mobile phone game in 2009.

Resident Evil 5 was released in march of this year with online co-op. It was a great commercial success, and a critical one too. But pas panned by the more old school fans who wanted a horror game rather than an action shooter. This Resident Evil saw the end of Albert Wesker and the ridiculous plot lines that the character eventually brought to the series. Despite bringing new life to a series struggling to survive, it has started to lose its loyal fans. Even the founder of Resident Evil Shinji Mimaki said he refuses to play it, in fear of what they have done to the series.

With this another sequel is said to be a complete reboot of the series, and will finally decide to either stick with Horror or continue on with action as its genre, it is predicted to be up to 8 years in the making.

Recently a sequel to the Umbrella Chronicles called the Darkside Chronicles will be released for the Wii exclusively. It is said to be more horror orientated, with both graphics, gameplay mechanics, script and voice acting being improved upon. Maybe it will deliver instead of disappoint?

Just recently “Resident Evil 5: Alternative Edition” was announced this September which will be a paid downloadable spin-off pack following the events of Chris and Jill’s mission to arrest Ozwell E Spencer in 2006 shown in the flashback sequence in Resident Evil 5 for PC (in 3D), X-box 360 and Playstation 3.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 7 + 8)

During the fourth phase of development Resident Evil 4 underwent a change to involve Zombies again, however it felt that it was again being too stale, and with the poor sales of Outbreak File 2, Resident Evil 0, 1, 2,3 and CODE; Veronica it was definitely time to introduce a new Enemy. E3 ‘04 introduced us to the new and final design of Resident Evil 4.

Resident Evil 4 had completely re-invented itself, first of all Umbrella was finished and there is no T-Virus or any virus for that matter within the game. Secondly the setting was in an unknown village at first thought to be South America, and later revealed to be Spain.

This time Leon would have to fight against faster and more intelligent enemies that would hound you throughout the game, no longer were they mindless monsters, this time they used weapons and traps against you.

Resident Evil 4 had turned into a panic ridden action game, the mechanics had been given an overhaul, of which you could carry items in an attaché case which was upgradeable, instead of carrying 6 – 8 items at a time. The action button could mean object you could interact with it, such as jumping over fences, climbing ladders etc.

Fans were at first shocked and disgusted by what Mikami had done to the franchise, but grew to love the game with every new development.

Eventually upon its release Resident Evil fans were quick to hail the game as the best Resident Evil game to date, despite it not involving Umbrella or the T-Virus. Resident Evil 4 had attracted new audiences who would never usually touch a Resident Evil game with a taser on a pole. Resident Evil 4 had become one of the most popular and talked about games of 2005, however 6 months into it’s “exclusive” time with Nintendo Capcom decided to break contract due to the poor sales of the previous gamecube tiles, Resident Evil 4 was ported onto the PS2, and then went multiplatform apart from Microsoft’s X-Box.

While people speculated what RE5 would be like, many hardcore Resident Evil fans decided the honeymoon period with the new style was over, and wanted a more horror orientated game. Come July 20^th 2005 Capcom announced RE5 with mixed results, while it was announced that the game would be going back to the routes of the original, it seemed that the enemies, like last time were fast moving. Many speculated a cross-breed between Las Plagas and T-Virus, to produce Zombies seen in 28 days later. It wasn’t until 2006 that it was revealed to be an even more action orientated game, leaving out much more horror than previous.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 6)

A year passed and to make sure fans didn’t get angry for the already 2 year delay Resident Evil 4 they released an Online co-op ResidentEvil, which once again gave use a higher detailed insight into Raccoon City with Resident Evil: Outbreak.

The same year and Resident Evil: Dead Aim (Gun Survivor 4) for the Playstation 2 hit the stores. Dead Aim consisted of both first and third person gameplay. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t all that great either, especially in the story department. ‘

Outbreak was the more popular, and helped keep the anxiety of the impressive Resident Evil 4 which was about to change without the knowledge of anyone: Resident Evil 4 took on it’s third form; this time it took on a more paranormal route involving Leon hallucinating due to the effects of the virus in his system. Enemies including creepy dolls, suits of armour and the famed “Hooked Man” who stalked you through the game. However this version was ultimately scrapped without the knowledge of the general public and press on the grounds that it was too paranormal and didn’t fit that well with the “Biohazard” theme. However gameplay footage shows that this game could have been the most innovative and most scary Resident Evil to date despite the lack of Zombies. However the game again was still under development until 2004 making it excessively hard on the fans who thought it would be out by then.

To tide over the fans Capcom brought out Outbreak File 2 which improved gameplay and added new scenarios and added extra plot elements, and for the first time YOU could play a Zombie. This game wasn’t really enough to quench the thirst of fans, and they began to run impatient.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 5)

In 2002 Capcom brought out what was and still is rumoured to have been in development since CODE Veronica was in pre-production back in 98’ the game was a full on remake of the original Resident Evil. This game was amazing in both visuals, and the gameplay didn’t feel too bad, even though the control mechanics hadn’t really been altered since Resident Evil 3. The plot of extended to include mentions of the G-Virus, Birkin, and Alexia it also released an online Wesker’s Report 2.

The game in my opinion had surpassed Resident Evil 2 in what I thought was the greatest Resident Evil game, however the care and attention that went into the Remake of the original had just made it superior in every sense. If a remake of the original came out, surely a remake of its sequel was to follow?

Well before any sequel remakes came out we finally got our hands on a fully refurbished Resident Evil 0, and it gave fans a slightly different game, for example it had the “Zap” system that was advertised so much by Capcom back in 2000, you also had no item boxes so wherever you dumped you items you had to backtrack to get them back, a more realistic challenge, but a pointless and frustrating one none the less. This however was a turning point for Resident Evil as far as plot and genre: Ever so slowly the game had started to become more ridiculous, and slightly more action orientated, rather than being of the horror genre.

The last straw came for Resident Evil when not remakes but ports of Resident Evil 2 and 3 were released with little to no changes since the N64 and Dreamcast versions of the game. It looked like Resident Evil had finally died.

However in September 2002 fans were intrigued by Resident Evil 4 for the Gamecube: First of all not only did the game look visually beyond its time, but it looked menacing and scary. The plot revolved around Leon investigating Umbrella’s headquarters and being infected with the Progenitor virus mentioned in Resident Evil 0. Fans couldn’t wait.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 4)

2000 - 2001

During 2000 a huge burst of Resident Evil games emerged from the cracks, such as Resident Evil: Survivor for the Playstation; it was a poor FPS which was meant to use a light gun, it also struggled to be a good game due to the fact there were no save points and so you had to play this shitty game in one go rather than taking a break to recuperate your senses, along with this Resident Evil 0 was announced for the Nintendo’s 64 bit console the aptly named Nintendo64. It was due out in 2001 and was set before the Mansion incident, and was set after Bravo team’s Helicopter crashed. The game would feature a new “zap” system so you could control two characters at the same time, also the fact that there was not item box was a first.

Also Resident Evil 4 was due for release at any moment (it had been rumoured to be in development since 1998), however the game that was released was Devil May Cry in 2001. If you have played DMC and Resident Evil 4 you can see the similarities in hairstyle and looks between Dante and Leon. Fans would have to wait yet again for an “official” 4^th instalment of the series.

In 2001 fans were treated to an un-cut edition of Code: Veronica on the Playstation 2, which made up for the huge disappointment by adding more scenes with Albert Wesker in and contained (for a limited time) a DVD with “Wesker’s Report” which explined how the hell he managed to stay alive. Unfortunately for the handheld community Resident Evil: Gaiden was released in Europe and later on a very limited release in Japan and North America. It was abonable, which was a shame, because I’d like a good game with Barry Burton in it.

With CODE: Veronica X came Resident Evil: Survivor 2: Code Veronica, released this time for the arcade – It flopped. The third in the series eventually turned to a Dino Crisis based game.

This year was supposed to be the birth of Resident Evil 0, which would bring us back before our original scare, with twice the graphical power. Maybe this would be Resident Evil’s salvation, from being completely ruined by stale game mechanics, voice acting and repetitive gameplay, and horrible attempts to change to game from TPS to FPS?

However by this time Nintendo brought out its slightly more powerful console: the Nintendo Gamecube, so Capcom decided to do an all exclusive deal with Nintendo to bring out the Resident Evil series exclusively for its console.

Many fans were shocked by this, many had got a PS2 with CODE: Veronica X in the hope that Resident Evil 4 would be coming to the PS2 as promised only to get Devil May Cry (as mentioned previously). Despite this Devil May Cry was a great game, and a great success.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 3)

With the huge success of Resident Evil 2, easily out-shadowing the original it was time to make another game, however with the release of the 128-bit console the Sega Dreamcast around the corner it was planed that a sequel involving Claire Redfield looking for her brother Chris alongside Leon S Kennedy. The game would have been fully 3D using the next-gen graphics. However due to some teething problems a spin-off involving Jill escaping Raccoon City 24 hours before Leon and Claire made it would be made for the Playstation while development for “Resident Evil 3” for the Dreamcast would go underway. Originally called Resident Evil: Last Escape the game would be pre-rendered and have Jill valentine trying to escape the city while being hounded by an Umbrella built BOW. However due to the long wait for Resident Evil 3 they decided to make Resident Evil: Last Escape - Resident Evil 3 and for Western audiences change the sub-heading to Resident Evil 3: Nemesis.

This game proved to have some of the best gameplay in a Resident Evil game: No longer did you have to press a button to head up the stairs, but you could just run up them. There were also better looking Zombies, and more of them including ones of different weight, gender and ethnicity. You could now mix gun powders to make more ammo, or change the type of ammo, and a dodge and 180 degree turn was added too.

The visuals were a lot better, despite the major jolts between FMV and cut-scenes where the character model barely had any features. This gameplay would surely be carried on?

Unfortunately the “true” sequel to Resident Evil 2 now called “Resident Evil CODE: Veronica” was not about to break any boundaries. In fact because it was under development by a different team they used the exact same controls as they did in Resident Evil 2, which made Resident Evil 3 a far superior game as far as gameplay.

There were some minor changes to the original concept. Whereas in the original script Claire met Leon on Rockfort as a fellow prisoner where Leon and Claire would fall in Love, and Leon would be killed off. However it was decided that fans loved the character of leon so much, they feared too much of an uproar, so a small love story was decided for a new far more annoying character that made every teenage guy wonder how the fuck he managed to get Claire to ever fall in love with him. The name was Steve Burnside. The game also resurrected an old foe - Albert Wesker. Not much was known about his motives until a Director's Cut was brought out for the Sony Playstation and Sega Dreamcast called Biohazard: Code Veronica Complete (in Japan) or Resident Evil: Code veronica X (everywhere else) in 2001, but we’ll come back to this game later in the history lesson.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 2)

Quickly after its success Resident Evil was to have a spin-off. Not much is known; all what is really known is that it was based in the mansion, and was about killer plants. Thank god that one didn’t get further than the drawing board. Quickly though it was realised that the sequel would have to be based in the near-by city of Raccoon.

Like the original Resident Evil 2 went through several changes. The character of Leon for example went through several stages of looks and rank of police officer.

Claire Redfield didn’t exist and instead a foxy blond character – a student of Raccoon University was on the scene called Eliza Walker. The most notable thing though that Raccoon City was actually a city and not a small mid-western town. There were also several character changes, for example Robert Kendo the gun owner was a supporting character similar to Barry Burton, and so was Marvin Branagh. Ada was also a scientist, but one can only assume that she had the same connection with John, it wasn’t known if she was a spy. The story was also different. In this edition Umbrella had already been found out, and the board members of Umbrella were being tried: Furious – Ozwell E Spencer decides to unleash the T-Virus in Raccoon City and from there all hell breaks lose.

However when the game was 70% complete and with only a few moths before launch Mikami scrapped the projected and started almost from scratch, he claimed that the game played “too much like the original” and vowed to bring audiences a superior product.

In 1998 he did, and Resident Evil 2 was released a year late, however it was to prove to be one of the most popular titles within the franchise to date. Instead Raccoon was a small town, the characters had been changed, and the layout was far less boring compared to the more repetitive backgrounds of ultra modern life in a big city. The story had changed to Umbrella still working behind the shadows, which made Umbrella more formidable, and gave the possibilities for more sequels. Mikami delivered what he promised, and thanks to a controversial (still to this date) overhaul we have one of the best Resident Evil titles to date.

The Long History of Resident Evil

Ok so now RE5: AE has been announced and Halloween is around the corner i thought I'd release a little history lesson for all of you!

Part 1:

The story of Resident Evil starts back in 1989 when an RPG style horror game translated in English to “Sweet Home” swept the stores. The story was about a team of paranormal investigators where they get trapped inside the mansion by evil spirits.

Back in 1989 this was a shit scary and very hard game to complete. You had permanent character deaths unlike other RPGs which you could simply revive them during battle, traps, and 5 different endings.

As early as 1994 Resident Evil started Development as a concept for Nindendo’s CD based system: Originally a remake of “Sweet Home” Shinji Mikami was Inspired by George A Romero and decided to make changes to the game and make the “ghosts” into “zombies” and have an evil corporation behind the events of the mansion. Throughout this period Sony broke away from Nintendo and brought out the Playstation in 1995. Nintendo now had no new system, Capcom decided to side with Sony and begin to develop the game to suit the 32-bit CD based PlayStation.

Many changes through the concepts were considered, for example during its concept phase Barry was a cyborg with a robot arm, and at one point during the development in 1995 the game was to be a FPS. However it was quickly established that the game wouldn’t be as scary. Eventually settling on the pre-rendered route, which allowed amazing visuals for the time.

In 1996 Biohazard was finalised released in Japan, and when legal problems arose in America with the band "Biohazard" the game was given the title "Resident Evil" everywhere else.

Out of pne man’s dream to remake one of the scariest RPGs in 1994, came an idea that would put the genre of survival horror on the map just two years after conception.

Friday 13th Part 2 release date

It's August 13th, 2010 in case you're wondering...

The Cleveland Show

Yeah like I predicted it's Black Family Guy, but despite it being "aimed" at Black people (talk about segregation), but not actually reaching genuinely to its target audience.

BUT at least they point it out in the pilot. I have nothing more to say. It's just as "funny" as Family guy, but not...I can see cleveland returning to family guy in 2 seasons of this crap....

That is all..

Zombieland

What can I say? Zombieland is the best Zom-Com, ever. Yes the American's did it better than the British, with the exception of Charlie Brooker's Dead Set. It ticked every box you could possibly want in a zombie film. I mean I don't think anyone ever will b e able to top this film as far as zom-coms go. In fact everyone should give up making zombie movies as comedies after this, maybe again in another 20 years, but this has everything and more. You can't beat Zombieland.

I mean you could clone the film and do it with different characters, but never will you get such a great combination of characters, especially for this sub-genre. Especially the scenes involving Bill Murray, I mean without spoiling things, who wouldn't want to do that with Bill Murray?

There isn't really any complaints, I can't believe it, but this is equally (for its genre) as good as District 9: D9 was a great classic, it had amazing acting, direction, and pulled the audiences' emotions the right way. Zombieland did just the same; it delivered a great actors, great directing, and pulled the audience's emotions perfectly too. For its genre it's perfect.

Shaun of the Dead may have been amusing, and referenced a lot of more "serious" zombie films. But this film made itself different, made itself without having to recreate scenes from other films. It did things so much better when referencing other films. Bravo

The only criticism is that I felt the gore factor could have been upped to more OTT levels, but apart from that it's a perfect zom-com film.

All in all I'd have to say that if you like zombie films go watch it. Those who think this is a scary movie though, it isn't, but that's because zombies have long gone being scary, and are now more adrenaline fueled, redneck, fun entertainment which everyone needs once in a while. So if you like gore, cool inventive gun scenes, a few jump moments, and great characters that you care for - this film is for you!

This is Anonymous Gamer here saying:

You stay classy internets!

Nightmare On Elm Street Trailer

Well the trailer is out. Unfortunately we can tell right away that the audience for this film is myspace users, which worried me, instead of apple trailers, we get a debut on myspace. Then again they may have been the cheapest to post it on.

Anyway we start off with a middle aged man being chased by a bunch of angry parents, the man (Fred Kruger) claims he doesn't know what they are talking about. They burn down the boiler room he hides in, for some odd reason he is compelled to take of his jacket to reveal the green and red sweater. What I don't get is when you are getting burned to death you decide to take your sweater off? Maybe it was getting hot in there? Maybe he didn't want to live in the afterlife in the waiting room in Beetlejuice with that jacket on (lol I wouldn't be caught dead in that ged'it??!)

Anyway we get some looks at the dream sequences, some similar imagery and a look at Freddy at the end.

What I can say is that the director has got a very good choice of Directing style when it comes to an Elm Street film. The imagery has a very odd quality to it, and the sets no longer look out-dated, some shots were weird, like the shot of the glove in the bathtub was fucked up by not having it rise up between her legs. We all know that imagery is far scarier, then again they may have had to edit out her legs in post because the trailer can be accessed by anyone? Meh just nitpicking there I suppose, but I feel it's a valid nitpick.

The dream sequences look cool, and despite not having a creepy feel like in the original, they do feel a lot more at home than the shitty ones in Nightmare's 2 and above which the dreams sequences just got shittier and shittier. I must admit the shots are nice for a Horror film.

Jackie Earle Haley's performance as Freddy was amazing as predicted he's as good as Robert Englund, actually better if you count the poor performances of Nightmares 4, 5, 6, and 8.

BUT the make-up was disappointing. I'm all up for updating the image, making things more realistic as the attempts after Nightmare 2 made Freddy look like a guy just wearing a lot of make-up effects. However this film just makes freddy look like a burn victim you see every day, and it makes you feel sorry for him, and not scared of him. Freddy was supposed to be more of a guy who looked more like a Zombie with flesh falling off rather than someone who was a victim of a fire. It looks like he had at least a few days to recover in hospital before he died rather than having fresh pus filled burns with flesh peeling off his face. So I'm not really buying the new make-up. I'm really going to grit my teeth on that one, maybe It'll grow on me, but I doubt it.

Another annoying thing is that most of the cast seem annoying whiney stereotypes that you just want to see die so badly! I'm deffo giving it a chance, as I didn't think the trailer was too bad, hey anyone killing off a cast member of Twilight gets in my good books, no matter how bad the film!

A Nightmare on Elm Street in HD

Project Needlemouse

It looks like we are finally going to get a decent Sonic game, how long as it been? Around 13 years?

Project Needlemouse will provide gamers with an HD 2D platforming experience similar to that of Sonic The Hedgehog on the MegaDrive back in 1991. The last Sonic game truly in my eyes to be great is Sonic CD back in 1996.

Ok so here's the trailer:

Apparently it's a reboot f Sonic, and it is everything I've dreamed of!!

Silent Hill and Resident Evil go Head to head

Well apparently Resident Evil: the Darkside Chronicles and Silent Hill: Shattered memories are going Head to Head this Winter for being pre-Christmas presents. To be honest I am in no possession to buy either. I'm skint. However through the miracle of odd-jobs, I reckon I can get one and get the other for Christmas, although now I'm an Uncle, so the Kid's first Christmas prezzie "has" to be brought. Anyway if you are wondering which you should fork out for I'd have to be honest and that is BOTH, but I'm having to personally shell out for Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. This is why.

First of all, Silent Hill has always been the scarier franchise, despite me being a massive fan of Resident Evil, I just can't help taking my hat off to Konami giving us the scarier franchise: There is no way in hell that Resident Evil can take the crown from Silent Hill, even though Resident Evil came first and gave us Silent Hill. Silent hill just creeps you the fuck out.

The next thing is that despite having some amazing improvements to the previous installment Darkside Chronicles is again just another On-Rails shooter, and therefore any game that steps away from doing "just another shooter" is doing a good thing as far as when it comes to Wii games. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is a 3rd Person um, Horror Game, yeah it isn't a shooter, which is another reason why this game brings something Unique to the Wii's console. Usually the Wiimote acts as a sword or a gun, or even a steering wheel. This time it does the simple motion as a flashlight and gives you the ability to turn left and right quickly. Removing combat ups the anxiety you will feel, because you know if you bump into anything unfriendly - you're fucked; you have nothing to help you apart from a few flares dotted around.

Another thing is the game reading your moves, giving each player semi-individual gaming experiences. I can't wait to play through the game as myself and see my flat-mate play through and see the differences and similarities toward our experience.

The only thing Darkside Chronicles holds is the fact that we are getting what is probably the closest thing we are going to get toward a Resident Evil 2 remake. Which is better than nothing.

I'll review both, but I think for £29.99 Silent Hill: Shattered Memories feels like a more worthwhile experience than any old Wii on rails shooter. In which House of the Dead: Overkill still stands out as the best damn Rail shooter the Wii has ever got. I'm seeing if Dead Space Extradition can add anything to the genre. Heck by now I'd be surprised if Darkside gives us anything but some new stories and a trip down memory lane for old ones.

The PS-Wii

Ok first of all I've been very busy lately, I will be posting up previews and reviews on a LOT of shit. But at the moment I'm brain storming for another script. So everything is up in the air at the moment.

Anyway...

Introducing the PS-Wii. In spring 2010 you can now play annoying motion sensitive games in FULL HD. Not only that but you can use the PS-Wii-mote's flashy lightbulb thingy for absolutely no purpose at all! Yes, and not only that but these games will work only exclusively with this, and all for a price of £49.99 + per game! The PS-Wii-mote will cost you an additional cost!

Yeah so you can guess that I'm skeptical about Sony's Wiimote. I'm not against anyone using motion sensitive equipment in their consoles. But Sony really have to think about this. First of all this just seems like a REALLY, REALLY cheap move. It looks almost exactly like the Wiimote EXCEPT from the ugly light bulb that sprouts out from the top, which changes colour indicating crap, but to be honest the Wiimote just works better, it looks better, and with the motion+ it works just the same.

There isn't anything extra that the Wii can provide, and do better.

Yes the Wii is made up of 90% absolute crap and there are very few games that truly shine, but having crappy Wii style games on a PS3 just doesn't feel right for the image of the console.

On the plus side it may mean that we get HD ports of classic Wii titles, but in a huge way I hope most Wii titles remain Wii titles. I'd hate for Shattered Memories to come onto PS3, as well as House of The Dead: Overkill. Although if the PS3-Wii-mote becomes successful I hope that sequels to Wii titles will come over to PS3, although as someone who believes that motion controls should be left to the Wii, I can't help but accept the inevitable.

Project Natal Officially FAIL

Ok, so I looked at the Project Natal demo video, and then I looked at the comments, one was from a paraplegic, it read: "I officially now want to hit Bill Gates in the nuts."

This is where it definitely stuck me, you can never have so much fail since the virtual boy. By ignoring paraplegics who use controllers to play games you are completely making life very depressing and annoying that they can't play any so called "good" games that the 360's natal has to offer.

You see with the Wii the Wiimote also can act as a controller and movements can be used with the hands. Ok so if you don't have any hands you have to use a classic controller and use your feet, which makes a lot of trouble for you if you're playing an fps. But at least most games on the current systems allows for people without legs to still play games.

So Natal is officially flushed as an epic fail.