First Impressions (and other thoughts)

Dinosaurs: Bioengineering and Mad-Science

2009-12-07T12:17:00.011Z

The question that is on nearly every 8 year old’s mind, and every 20 something’s geek guy’s mind is: “Can We have a dinosaur theme park? Can we bring back the dinosaurs please?”

The answer lies in two forms “Can We?” and “If we can, should we?” I will try and answer both these questions as quickly as possible in under 1000 words. For me to answer these we have to look into the most up-to date theories by scientists that has changed the way we think about Dinosaurs.

Let us skip to Extinction theory first. Scientists now believe that Dinosaurs were NOT wiped off the planet, only a handful of species were wiped off the face of the earth that day 65 million years ago. It was in-fact that a lot of dinosaurs adapted to the harsh aftermath, and became smaller, more agile, grew thicker feathers and gained the ability to fly in most cases. Yes dinosaurs still live amongst us as birds, no they didn’t die out at all, today we are feeding, hunting, and killing dinosaurs. They’ve just changed slightly over the last 65 million years.

Now how do we know that dinosaurs are birds? First of all the skeletal structure is far more bird like, even the skeleton had air holes inside the bones which made dinosaurs like tyrannosaurs run faster. More recently it has been found that most dinosaurs at least by a certain period of time were covered in downy fuzz. Yes dinosaurs were fuzzy, not scaly. This may indicate that Dinosaurs had evolved a warm-blooded system quite early on.

The fearsome, yet fuzzy Dilophosaurus

These proto-feathers may have disappeared on some of the larger species, leaving just a few bits of small hair like structures, such as elephant hair. We now also come to more modern evidence. If you kill a turkey and boil away its feathers and flesh you wi

ll see that apart from a few tiny differences the skeletal structure of that turkey is almost identical to that of viloceraptor; Almost undisputed evidence that some dinosaurs still survive today.

The family resemblance, you must be twins: A Velociraptor (above) and a Turkey (below)

Dinosaurs were not giant birds though, they were reptilian too: In fact Tyrannosaurs soft tissue was uncovered in March 2005 including red blood cells. What was found was that T-Rex share similar ancestor not just to ostriches, but with alligators too. This shows the missing link and shared recent ancestor between Birds and Reptiles.

So we’ve explored what the closest relatives are, lets look more into that soft tissue discovered in March 2005. Well there was blood vessels, and red blood cells, and maybe a few proteins. But any DNA was way too broken to get anything. You see even if there was a decent amount in tact (which is highly, highly improbable), you have to remember that there is only a 1% difference between us and dolphins, less that 1% with us and chimps. So finding a unique strand of DNA which would be useful in bio-engineering a dinosaur like the way they did it in the novel and film “Jurassic Park” would be near enough impossible.

However there is a fly in the ointment of impossibility. Scientist have been screwing around a lot recently with DNA, now they’re making half human half animal hybrids for medical purposes, something morally I think is just fucked up. However it means we have the power to map, and alter DNA strands and grow new animals. Which means that in the future we will have the technology to map out a species DNA, and tinker with it virtually, and get a 3D model of what kind of creature you’ll get on the other side, in which you could produce in a lab.

BUT there are many spanners in the works of mad-science. We don’t know enough about genetics to find out what genes control every animal’s behaviour, if they are omnivores, carnivores or herbivores, what their vocal chords will develop to etc.

Even if we did would scientists mess around with the genetics to build an accurate model, would they tinker with things, and how would the scientists truly know the behaviour and sounds and noises etc of these great creatures? Would T-Rex be a hunter of a scavenger (something which still makes some scientists angry). Would they clone a raptor and teach it to hunt and kill, or would they train it to sit, and play with the ball?

All these things have to be addressed. Then the huge question is, is it right to bring back a species back though the evolutionary stage to a time where it was not meant to survive? Would recreating a dinosaur for science be ok, but banned for commercial use? What would we learn? That we can be absolute douchbags when it comes to nature? Would this be our downfall? Would this mean some mad-scientist would start engineering Bio-organic Weapons or Xenomorphs or even giant crabs?! Where would it end?

Can the human fascination with these lumbering creatures ever be quashed, or is this technology on the horizon too tempting for one scientist? Because that’s all it takes: One scientist!

We’re already creating foetuses that are half human half animal, what is stopping us from taking the step into bio-engineering crazy creatures, maybe ones that resemble dinosaurs?

BUT let us say that we

- Got a turkey

- Got a super computer DNA sequencer from the future

- Got all the DNA facts down to a T, and after hundreds of dead raptors who “gobbled” like a turkey, or has some sort of horrid disability (like not being able to walk, because its eyeballs were on its feet).

- Made sure we bought it up as much as possible as far away from human nurture to behave like the killing machine it’s supposed to be

Ok we have a live velociraptor. We still have problems.

- Adaptability to our colder climate

- Adaptability to different meats

- Behavioural problems, this species hunted in packs, it needs brother and sisters that it wouldn’t try to eat or attack.

- We have moral dilemmas discussed before, and now we have a new species, do we give it the right to breed? If so how do we provide enough genetic differences for it not to inter-breed. Or do we deliberately cause inter-breeding? How would we control that species? We’ve not actually created a creature YET that could breed, but if we did, you see there are far too many things to address when you bioengineer a dinosaur, or any other creature for that matter.

The trouble is that everyone wants to see a dinosaur, without any of the consequences, and I’m afraid that there are consequences not just to that species, but to every species on the planet.

I’m afraid we’ll have to stick with Walking with Dinosaurs.

"You spent so much time wondering whether you could. You never considered whether you should."

-Dr.Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park)

Google OS review

2009-11-26T11:38:00.003Z

Well I booted up Google Chromium, the beta of Google Chrome OS.

So far with Google Chromium things aren't looking at all that impressive. I've tried it out, and to be honest, I'd rather just download the browser!

Um, well lets start with the possitives?

Well the boot up is about 7 seconds, and I hear they want a 3 second boot up, and good luck to them. It's so nice not to have the annoying splash screens, and loading up, Google just cuts the bollocks and gives you the login screen.

Another positive is that the OS is simple to navigate, you can switch from the net to an app, and use the app while surfing, however I can see a problem with those who can't multitask as well, and things might get too distracting. It'll be interesting what customisations you can use in the future for this feature. Things run simply and they run slickly.

On that notes, the apps are pretty piss poor, apart from a few quirky apps like twitter etc, and the "google docs" app, which is meh to say the least, I hate they cheat with their games, and their apps are too light, I feel that they might break any second. The games are just SWF games streamed of their browser, no app window, just a new tab in a browser, and It makes me feel cheated. Hopefully someone will programme some decent FPS games without having to play flash abed games. Not saying flash based games are bad, I'm addicted to miniclip games. But you can't beat PC games if you're going to use a laptop/desktop based system to play games. Google have to acknowledge that if they are to succeed in a very dominant market their nintendoesque business strategy just isn't going to work for a niche. This OS will have to do and preform just as well as any other PC desktop and laptop if they are going to succeed in the OS market. Although they don't need to, their adverting revenue is a money monster.

I know Microsoft does plan to build Microsoft Office Lite as an optional app download, but I'd rather trust a non-cloud app.

I really feel that this OS really needs compatibility to be installed on a basic PC, and to have full functionality offline as well as online. I know you shouldn't really own a web based OS if you're not online, but sometimes shit happens and you're left without internet, then what? How the fuck do I access all my private data then?! I really hope that the "cloud" is just there as a back up of your solid state drive, because I really would like a hard copy of my data.

All in all I do want Google to provide me with a simple, easy and online ready OS, but I just want the solidness of a Windows or Mac OS. I want to be able to surf the web, play DVD/Blu-Ray, be able to have a HDD or any other device accessible, I want the choice of the cloud stealing my information. I want to be able to download MP3s, edit movies, edit photos, make flash animations, burn professional DVDs, I want to play Bioshock 2 or 3 on there. I want it all... To be honest if google don't do that I'm sure Microsoft will, with a Windows 7 lite or some crap like that :/ But Google OS needs to be so much better to impress...

My last impression on Google Chrome OS so far is that If you're a Yuppie who wants to Skype and Office Lite his way through twittering their facebook off, or you're a paris hilton spoilt brat who wants to twitter and facebook her prada bag off with her cute pink Google OS notebook showing it off to her equally superficial bratty friends, then be my guest. If you want a real OS that will do the heavy lifting, then stick with your PC or Mac.

Fuck You Google, Fuck You!

2009-11-23T15:14:00.007Z

Ok so chrome has been revealed, and yeah, it worries me.

First of all you can't JUST install it on an PC: First of all it doesn't rely on "DVDs" or "Hard-Drives" now everything is stored on the "Cloud" s concept that sounds so terrifying to someone like me it's unbelievable. The cloud is a concept of everyone on the internet being connected to the same central hub, in which all your document and processing needs, are well processed and stored. So you don't have to worry about running out of HDD space, you just store it for everyone to access, so long as they have your password....fucking idiots.... Another worrying thing is that Google already have a scary amount of browsing data you have stored, right from what you search, to the sites you visit, where you live etc. So now they want all your pictures, video, IM conversations and documents such as your latest accounting details, or even a screenplay you're writing. Sure you can access it ANYWHERE but that means ANYONE else can look at it as long as they have the right password. Hacking used to require complicated Torjan Horses or 1337 hacking skills or even just physically stealing your computer. Now all it takes is for someone to access your password or of course the usual stealage of the super light notebooks Google Chrome OS will be packaged with.

FUCK SAKE

If Google just allowed HDDs to be recognised then we could keep a hard copy of our data, and maybe they will due to the super light notebooks having solid state drives. hopefully as Chrome OS is open source we'll get a nice hack or an update to install in PCs which want to switch from Windows to Chrome, but don't want to upload every document to the web, especially for people in the UK with piss poor broadband connections....

What happens to those with no financial means for mobile broadband? I thought google were the "free" and "easy" company.

I may be paranoid, but fuck you google fuck you!

Edward Woodward R.I.P

2009-11-16T15:06:00.001Z

Edward Woodward 1930 - 2009 R.I.P dude :(

The Long History of Resident Evil (Final Part)

2009-11-01T21:04:00.001Z

First of all an apology, this site has been playing up and not posting anything. So here I now present to you the final part of my history lesson!

Not only that but a Wii exclusive game was announced at the same time. Finally revealed to be a FPS rail shooter.

In 2007 Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles was released. This went into further detail about the Umbrella Corporation and its downfall allegedly in 2003. The game was commercially successful, despite being slated by critics, although it’s said to be the best FPS Resident Evil to date. In 2008 RE5 was delayed for a further year, and fans became wrestles, trying to decide whether to buy the game or not. Especially when in 2007 the poorly voice acted, more action orientated version of the classic games such as Resident Evil 0, Resident Evil, and Resident Evil 3 were ruined in The Umbrella Chronicles.

2009 came about and the first game cannon CG film was released: Again we had both Leon and Claire team up to fight another T-Virus outbreak in 2005, it also introduces us to Umbrella’s successor in evil: The Tricell Cooperation. Degeneration was praised by fans, and was made into a mobile phone game in 2009.

Resident Evil 5 was released in march of this year with online co-op. It was a great commercial success, and a critical one too. But pas panned by the more old school fans who wanted a horror game rather than an action shooter. This Resident Evil saw the end of Albert Wesker and the ridiculous plot lines that the character eventually brought to the series. Despite bringing new life to a series struggling to survive, it has started to lose its loyal fans. Even the founder of Resident Evil Shinji Mimaki said he refuses to play it, in fear of what they have done to the series.

With this another sequel is said to be a complete reboot of the series, and will finally decide to either stick with Horror or continue on with action as its genre, it is predicted to be up to 8 years in the making.

Recently a sequel to the Umbrella Chronicles called the Darkside Chronicles will be released for the Wii exclusively. It is said to be more horror orientated, with both graphics, gameplay mechanics, script and voice acting being improved upon. Maybe it will deliver instead of disappoint?

Just recently “Resident Evil 5: Alternative Edition” was announced this September which will be a paid downloadable spin-off pack following the events of Chris and Jill’s mission to arrest Ozwell E Spencer in 2006 shown in the flashback sequence in Resident Evil 5 for PC (in 3D), X-box 360 and Playstation 3.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 7 + 8)

2009-10-24T01:53:00.002+01:00

During the fourth phase of development Resident Evil 4 underwent a change to involve Zombies again, however it felt that it was again being too stale, and with the poor sales of Outbreak File 2, Resident Evil 0, 1, 2,3 and CODE; Veronica it was definitely time to introduce a new Enemy. E3 ‘04 introduced us to the new and final design of Resident Evil 4.

Resident Evil 4 had completely re-invented itself, first of all Umbrella was finished and there is no T-Virus or any virus for that matter within the game. Secondly the setting was in an unknown village at first thought to be South America, and later revealed to be Spain.

This time Leon would have to fight against faster and more intelligent enemies that would hound you throughout the game, no longer were they mindless monsters, this time they used weapons and traps against you.

Resident Evil 4 had turned into a panic ridden action game, the mechanics had been given an overhaul, of which you could carry items in an attaché case which was upgradeable, instead of carrying 6 – 8 items at a time. The action button could mean object you could interact with it, such as jumping over fences, climbing ladders etc.

Fans were at first shocked and disgusted by what Mikami had done to the franchise, but grew to love the game with every new development.

Eventually upon its release Resident Evil fans were quick to hail the game as the best Resident Evil game to date, despite it not involving Umbrella or the T-Virus. Resident Evil 4 had attracted new audiences who would never usually touch a Resident Evil game with a taser on a pole. Resident Evil 4 had become one of the most popular and talked about games of 2005, however 6 months into it’s “exclusive” time with Nintendo Capcom decided to break contract due to the poor sales of the previous gamecube tiles, Resident Evil 4 was ported onto the PS2, and then went multiplatform apart from Microsoft’s X-Box.

While people speculated what RE5 would be like, many hardcore Resident Evil fans decided the honeymoon period with the new style was over, and wanted a more horror orientated game. Come July 20^th 2005 Capcom announced RE5 with mixed results, while it was announced that the game would be going back to the routes of the original, it seemed that the enemies, like last time were fast moving. Many speculated a cross-breed between Las Plagas and T-Virus, to produce Zombies seen in 28 days later. It wasn’t until 2006 that it was revealed to be an even more action orientated game, leaving out much more horror than previous.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 6)

2009-10-22T00:27:00.000+01:00

A year passed and to make sure fans didn’t get angry for the already 2 year delay Resident Evil 4 they released an Online co-op ResidentEvil, which once again gave use a higher detailed insight into Raccoon City with Resident Evil: Outbreak.

The same year and Resident Evil: Dead Aim (Gun Survivor 4) for the Playstation 2 hit the stores. Dead Aim consisted of both first and third person gameplay. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t all that great either, especially in the story department. ‘

Outbreak was the more popular, and helped keep the anxiety of the impressive Resident Evil 4 which was about to change without the knowledge of anyone: Resident Evil 4 took on it’s third form; this time it took on a more paranormal route involving Leon hallucinating due to the effects of the virus in his system. Enemies including creepy dolls, suits of armour and the famed “Hooked Man” who stalked you through the game. However this version was ultimately scrapped without the knowledge of the general public and press on the grounds that it was too paranormal and didn’t fit that well with the “Biohazard” theme. However gameplay footage shows that this game could have been the most innovative and most scary Resident Evil to date despite the lack of Zombies. However the game again was still under development until 2004 making it excessively hard on the fans who thought it would be out by then.

To tide over the fans Capcom brought out Outbreak File 2 which improved gameplay and added new scenarios and added extra plot elements, and for the first time YOU could play a Zombie. This game wasn’t really enough to quench the thirst of fans, and they began to run impatient.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 5)

2009-10-21T18:19:00.000+01:00

In 2002 Capcom brought out what was and still is rumoured to have been in development since CODE Veronica was in pre-production back in 98’ the game was a full on remake of the original Resident Evil. This game was amazing in both visuals, and the gameplay didn’t feel too bad, even though the control mechanics hadn’t really been altered since Resident Evil 3. The plot of extended to include mentions of the G-Virus, Birkin, and Alexia it also released an online Wesker’s Report 2.

The game in my opinion had surpassed Resident Evil 2 in what I thought was the greatest Resident Evil game, however the care and attention that went into the Remake of the original had just made it superior in every sense. If a remake of the original came out, surely a remake of its sequel was to follow?

Well before any sequel remakes came out we finally got our hands on a fully refurbished Resident Evil 0, and it gave fans a slightly different game, for example it had the “Zap” system that was advertised so much by Capcom back in 2000, you also had no item boxes so wherever you dumped you items you had to backtrack to get them back, a more realistic challenge, but a pointless and frustrating one none the less. This however was a turning point for Resident Evil as far as plot and genre: Ever so slowly the game had started to become more ridiculous, and slightly more action orientated, rather than being of the horror genre.

The last straw came for Resident Evil when not remakes but ports of Resident Evil 2 and 3 were released with little to no changes since the N64 and Dreamcast versions of the game. It looked like Resident Evil had finally died.

However in September 2002 fans were intrigued by Resident Evil 4 for the Gamecube: First of all not only did the game look visually beyond its time, but it looked menacing and scary. The plot revolved around Leon investigating Umbrella’s headquarters and being infected with the Progenitor virus mentioned in Resident Evil 0. Fans couldn’t wait.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 4)

2009-10-20T01:10:00.000+01:00

2000 - 2001

During 2000 a huge burst of Resident Evil games emerged from the cracks, such as Resident Evil: Survivor for the Playstation; it was a poor FPS which was meant to use a light gun, it also struggled to be a good game due to the fact there were no save points and so you had to play this shitty game in one go rather than taking a break to recuperate your senses, along with this Resident Evil 0 was announced for the Nintendo’s 64 bit console the aptly named Nintendo64. It was due out in 2001 and was set before the Mansion incident, and was set after Bravo team’s Helicopter crashed. The game would feature a new “zap” system so you could control two characters at the same time, also the fact that there was not item box was a first.

Also Resident Evil 4 was due for release at any moment (it had been rumoured to be in development since 1998), however the game that was released was Devil May Cry in 2001. If you have played DMC and Resident Evil 4 you can see the similarities in hairstyle and looks between Dante and Leon. Fans would have to wait yet again for an “official” 4^th instalment of the series.

In 2001 fans were treated to an un-cut edition of Code: Veronica on the Playstation 2, which made up for the huge disappointment by adding more scenes with Albert Wesker in and contained (for a limited time) a DVD with “Wesker’s Report” which explined how the hell he managed to stay alive. Unfortunately for the handheld community Resident Evil: Gaiden was released in Europe and later on a very limited release in Japan and North America. It was abonable, which was a shame, because I’d like a good game with Barry Burton in it.

With CODE: Veronica X came Resident Evil: Survivor 2: Code Veronica, released this time for the arcade – It flopped. The third in the series eventually turned to a Dino Crisis based game.

This year was supposed to be the birth of Resident Evil 0, which would bring us back before our original scare, with twice the graphical power. Maybe this would be Resident Evil’s salvation, from being completely ruined by stale game mechanics, voice acting and repetitive gameplay, and horrible attempts to change to game from TPS to FPS?

However by this time Nintendo brought out its slightly more powerful console: the Nintendo Gamecube, so Capcom decided to do an all exclusive deal with Nintendo to bring out the Resident Evil series exclusively for its console.

Many fans were shocked by this, many had got a PS2 with CODE: Veronica X in the hope that Resident Evil 4 would be coming to the PS2 as promised only to get Devil May Cry (as mentioned previously). Despite this Devil May Cry was a great game, and a great success.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 3)

2009-10-18T23:52:00.002+01:00

With the huge success of Resident Evil 2, easily out-shadowing the original it was time to make another game, however with the release of the 128-bit console the Sega Dreamcast around the corner it was planed that a sequel involving Claire Redfield looking for her brother Chris alongside Leon S Kennedy. The game would have been fully 3D using the next-gen graphics. However due to some teething problems a spin-off involving Jill escaping Raccoon City 24 hours before Leon and Claire made it would be made for the Playstation while development for “Resident Evil 3” for the Dreamcast would go underway. Originally called Resident Evil: Last Escape the game would be pre-rendered and have Jill valentine trying to escape the city while being hounded by an Umbrella built BOW. However due to the long wait for Resident Evil 3 they decided to make Resident Evil: Last Escape - Resident Evil 3 and for Western audiences change the sub-heading to Resident Evil 3: Nemesis.

This game proved to have some of the best gameplay in a Resident Evil game: No longer did you have to press a button to head up the stairs, but you could just run up them. There were also better looking Zombies, and more of them including ones of different weight, gender and ethnicity. You could now mix gun powders to make more ammo, or change the type of ammo, and a dodge and 180 degree turn was added too.

The visuals were a lot better, despite the major jolts between FMV and cut-scenes where the character model barely had any features. This gameplay would surely be carried on?

Unfortunately the “true” sequel to Resident Evil 2 now called “Resident Evil CODE: Veronica” was not about to break any boundaries. In fact because it was under development by a different team they used the exact same controls as they did in Resident Evil 2, which made Resident Evil 3 a far superior game as far as gameplay.

There were some minor changes to the original concept. Whereas in the original script Claire met Leon on Rockfort as a fellow prisoner where Leon and Claire would fall in Love, and Leon would be killed off. However it was decided that fans loved the character of leon so much, they feared too much of an uproar, so a small love story was decided for a new far more annoying character that made every teenage guy wonder how the fuck he managed to get Claire to ever fall in love with him. The name was Steve Burnside. The game also resurrected an old foe - Albert Wesker. Not much was known about his motives until a Director's Cut was brought out for the Sony Playstation and Sega Dreamcast called Biohazard: Code Veronica Complete (in Japan) or Resident Evil: Code veronica X (everywhere else) in 2001, but we’ll come back to this game later in the history lesson.

The Long History of Resident Evil (Part 2)

2009-10-17T23:27:00.007+01:00

Quickly after its success Resident Evil was to have a spin-off. Not much is known; all what is really known is that it was based in the mansion, and was about killer plants. Thank god that one didn’t get further than the drawing board. Quickly though it was realised that the sequel would have to be based in the near-by city of Raccoon.

Like the original Resident Evil 2 went through several changes. The character of Leon for example went through several stages of looks and rank of police officer.

Claire Redfield didn’t exist and instead a foxy blond character – a student of Raccoon University was on the scene called Eliza Walker. The most notable thing though that Raccoon City was actually a city and not a small mid-western town. There were also several character changes, for example Robert Kendo the gun owner was a supporting character similar to Barry Burton, and so was Marvin Branagh. Ada was also a scientist, but one can only assume that she had the same connection with John, it wasn’t known if she was a spy. The story was also different. In this edition Umbrella had already been found out, and the board members of Umbrella were being tried: Furious – Ozwell E Spencer decides to unleash the T-Virus in Raccoon City and from there all hell breaks lose.

However when the game was 70% complete and with only a few moths before launch Mikami scrapped the projected and started almost from scratch, he claimed that the game played “too much like the original” and vowed to bring audiences a superior product.

In 1998 he did, and Resident Evil 2 was released a year late, however it was to prove to be one of the most popular titles within the franchise to date. Instead Raccoon was a small town, the characters had been changed, and the layout was far less boring compared to the more repetitive backgrounds of ultra modern life in a big city. The story had changed to Umbrella still working behind the shadows, which made Umbrella more formidable, and gave the possibilities for more sequels. Mikami delivered what he promised, and thanks to a controversial (still to this date) overhaul we have one of the best Resident Evil titles to date.

The Long History of Resident Evil

2009-10-17T15:41:00.010+01:00

Ok so now RE5: AE has been announced and Halloween is around the corner i thought I'd release a little history lesson for all of you!

Part 1:

The story of Resident Evil starts back in 1989 when an RPG style horror game translated in English to “Sweet Home” swept the stores. The story was about a team of paranormal investigators where they get trapped inside the mansion by evil spirits.

Back in 1989 this was a shit scary and very hard game to complete. You had permanent character deaths unlike other RPGs which you could simply revive them during battle, traps, and 5 different endings.

As early as 1994 Resident Evil started Development as a concept for Nindendo’s CD based system: Originally a remake of “Sweet Home” Shinji Mikami was Inspired by George A Romero and decided to make changes to the game and make the “ghosts” into “zombies” and have an evil corporation behind the events of the mansion. Throughout this period Sony broke away from Nintendo and brought out the Playstation in 1995. Nintendo now had no new system, Capcom decided to side with Sony and begin to develop the game to suit the 32-bit CD based PlayStation.

Many changes through the concepts were considered, for example during its concept phase Barry was a cyborg with a robot arm, and at one point during the development in 1995 the game was to be a FPS. However it was quickly established that the game wouldn’t be as scary. Eventually settling on the pre-rendered route, which allowed amazing visuals for the time.

In 1996 Biohazard was finalised released in Japan, and when legal problems arose in America with the band "Biohazard" the game was given the title "Resident Evil" everywhere else.

Out of pne man’s dream to remake one of the scariest RPGs in 1994, came an idea that would put the genre of survival horror on the map just two years after conception.

Friday 13th Part 2 release date

2009-10-09T12:36:00.001+01:00

It's August 13th, 2010 in case you're wondering...

The Cleveland Show

2009-10-09T12:30:00.002+01:00

Yeah like I predicted it's Black Family Guy, but despite it being "aimed" at Black people (talk about segregation), but not actually reaching genuinely to its target audience.

BUT at least they point it out in the pilot. I have nothing more to say. It's just as "funny" as Family guy, but not...I can see cleveland returning to family guy in 2 seasons of this crap....

That is all..

Zombieland

2009-10-08T11:56:00.002+01:00

What can I say? Zombieland is the best Zom-Com, ever. Yes the American's did it better than the British, with the exception of Charlie Brooker's Dead Set. It ticked every box you could possibly want in a zombie film. I mean I don't think anyone ever will b e able to top this film as far as zom-coms go. In fact everyone should give up making zombie movies as comedies after this, maybe again in another 20 years, but this has everything and more. You can't beat Zombieland.

I mean you could clone the film and do it with different characters, but never will you get such a great combination of characters, especially for this sub-genre. Especially the scenes involving Bill Murray, I mean without spoiling things, who wouldn't want to do that with Bill Murray?

There isn't really any complaints, I can't believe it, but this is equally (for its genre) as good as District 9: D9 was a great classic, it had amazing acting, direction, and pulled the audiences' emotions the right way. Zombieland did just the same; it delivered a great actors, great directing, and pulled the audience's emotions perfectly too. For its genre it's perfect.

Shaun of the Dead may have been amusing, and referenced a lot of more "serious" zombie films. But this film made itself different, made itself without having to recreate scenes from other films. It did things so much better when referencing other films. Bravo

The only criticism is that I felt the gore factor could have been upped to more OTT levels, but apart from that it's a perfect zom-com film.

All in all I'd have to say that if you like zombie films go watch it. Those who think this is a scary movie though, it isn't, but that's because zombies have long gone being scary, and are now more adrenaline fueled, redneck, fun entertainment which everyone needs once in a while. So if you like gore, cool inventive gun scenes, a few jump moments, and great characters that you care for - this film is for you!

This is Anonymous Gamer here saying:

You stay classy internets!

Nightmare On Elm Street Trailer

2009-09-28T09:20:00.002+01:00

Well the trailer is out. Unfortunately we can tell right away that the audience for this film is myspace users, which worried me, instead of apple trailers, we get a debut on myspace. Then again they may have been the cheapest to post it on.

Anyway we start off with a middle aged man being chased by a bunch of angry parents, the man (Fred Kruger) claims he doesn't know what they are talking about. They burn down the boiler room he hides in, for some odd reason he is compelled to take of his jacket to reveal the green and red sweater. What I don't get is when you are getting burned to death you decide to take your sweater off? Maybe it was getting hot in there? Maybe he didn't want to live in the afterlife in the waiting room in Beetlejuice with that jacket on (lol I wouldn't be caught dead in that ged'it??!)

Anyway we get some looks at the dream sequences, some similar imagery and a look at Freddy at the end.

What I can say is that the director has got a very good choice of Directing style when it comes to an Elm Street film. The imagery has a very odd quality to it, and the sets no longer look out-dated, some shots were weird, like the shot of the glove in the bathtub was fucked up by not having it rise up between her legs. We all know that imagery is far scarier, then again they may have had to edit out her legs in post because the trailer can be accessed by anyone? Meh just nitpicking there I suppose, but I feel it's a valid nitpick.

The dream sequences look cool, and despite not having a creepy feel like in the original, they do feel a lot more at home than the shitty ones in Nightmare's 2 and above which the dreams sequences just got shittier and shittier. I must admit the shots are nice for a Horror film.

Jackie Earle Haley's performance as Freddy was amazing as predicted he's as good as Robert Englund, actually better if you count the poor performances of Nightmares 4, 5, 6, and 8.

BUT the make-up was disappointing. I'm all up for updating the image, making things more realistic as the attempts after Nightmare 2 made Freddy look like a guy just wearing a lot of make-up effects. However this film just makes freddy look like a burn victim you see every day, and it makes you feel sorry for him, and not scared of him. Freddy was supposed to be more of a guy who looked more like a Zombie with flesh falling off rather than someone who was a victim of a fire. It looks like he had at least a few days to recover in hospital before he died rather than having fresh pus filled burns with flesh peeling off his face. So I'm not really buying the new make-up. I'm really going to grit my teeth on that one, maybe It'll grow on me, but I doubt it.

Another annoying thing is that most of the cast seem annoying whiney stereotypes that you just want to see die so badly! I'm deffo giving it a chance, as I didn't think the trailer was too bad, hey anyone killing off a cast member of Twilight gets in my good books, no matter how bad the film!

A Nightmare on Elm Street in HD

Project Needlemouse

2009-09-20T23:17:00.006+01:00

It looks like we are finally going to get a decent Sonic game, how long as it been? Around 13 years?

Project Needlemouse will provide gamers with an HD 2D platforming experience similar to that of Sonic The Hedgehog on the MegaDrive back in 1991. The last Sonic game truly in my eyes to be great is Sonic CD back in 1996.

Ok so here's the trailer:

Apparently it's a reboot f Sonic, and it is everything I've dreamed of!!

Silent Hill and Resident Evil go Head to head

2009-09-19T13:44:00.005+01:00

Well apparently Resident Evil: the Darkside Chronicles and Silent Hill: Shattered memories are going Head to Head this Winter for being pre-Christmas presents. To be honest I am in no possession to buy either. I'm skint. However through the miracle of odd-jobs, I reckon I can get one and get the other for Christmas, although now I'm an Uncle, so the Kid's first Christmas prezzie "has" to be brought. Anyway if you are wondering which you should fork out for I'd have to be honest and that is BOTH, but I'm having to personally shell out for Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. This is why.

First of all, Silent Hill has always been the scarier franchise, despite me being a massive fan of Resident Evil, I just can't help taking my hat off to Konami giving us the scarier franchise: There is no way in hell that Resident Evil can take the crown from Silent Hill, even though Resident Evil came first and gave us Silent Hill. Silent hill just creeps you the fuck out.

The next thing is that despite having some amazing improvements to the previous installment Darkside Chronicles is again just another On-Rails shooter, and therefore any game that steps away from doing "just another shooter" is doing a good thing as far as when it comes to Wii games. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is a 3rd Person um, Horror Game, yeah it isn't a shooter, which is another reason why this game brings something Unique to the Wii's console. Usually the Wiimote acts as a sword or a gun, or even a steering wheel. This time it does the simple motion as a flashlight and gives you the ability to turn left and right quickly. Removing combat ups the anxiety you will feel, because you know if you bump into anything unfriendly - you're fucked; you have nothing to help you apart from a few flares dotted around.

Another thing is the game reading your moves, giving each player semi-individual gaming experiences. I can't wait to play through the game as myself and see my flat-mate play through and see the differences and similarities toward our experience.

The only thing Darkside Chronicles holds is the fact that we are getting what is probably the closest thing we are going to get toward a Resident Evil 2 remake. Which is better than nothing.

I'll review both, but I think for £29.99 Silent Hill: Shattered Memories feels like a more worthwhile experience than any old Wii on rails shooter. In which House of the Dead: Overkill still stands out as the best damn Rail shooter the Wii has ever got. I'm seeing if Dead Space Extradition can add anything to the genre. Heck by now I'd be surprised if Darkside gives us anything but some new stories and a trip down memory lane for old ones.

The PS-Wii

2009-09-19T11:20:00.003+01:00

Ok first of all I've been very busy lately, I will be posting up previews and reviews on a LOT of shit. But at the moment I'm brain storming for another script. So everything is up in the air at the moment.

Anyway...

Introducing the PS-Wii. In spring 2010 you can now play annoying motion sensitive games in FULL HD. Not only that but you can use the PS-Wii-mote's flashy lightbulb thingy for absolutely no purpose at all! Yes, and not only that but these games will work only exclusively with this, and all for a price of £49.99 + per game! The PS-Wii-mote will cost you an additional cost!

Yeah so you can guess that I'm skeptical about Sony's Wiimote. I'm not against anyone using motion sensitive equipment in their consoles. But Sony really have to think about this. First of all this just seems like a REALLY, REALLY cheap move. It looks almost exactly like the Wiimote EXCEPT from the ugly light bulb that sprouts out from the top, which changes colour indicating crap, but to be honest the Wiimote just works better, it looks better, and with the motion+ it works just the same.

There isn't anything extra that the Wii can provide, and do better.

Yes the Wii is made up of 90% absolute crap and there are very few games that truly shine, but having crappy Wii style games on a PS3 just doesn't feel right for the image of the console.

On the plus side it may mean that we get HD ports of classic Wii titles, but in a huge way I hope most Wii titles remain Wii titles. I'd hate for Shattered Memories to come onto PS3, as well as House of The Dead: Overkill. Although if the PS3-Wii-mote becomes successful I hope that sequels to Wii titles will come over to PS3, although as someone who believes that motion controls should be left to the Wii, I can't help but accept the inevitable.

Project Natal Officially FAIL

2009-08-04T19:35:00.006+01:00

Ok, so I looked at the Project Natal demo video, and then I looked at the comments, one was from a paraplegic, it read: "I officially now want to hit Bill Gates in the nuts."

This is where it definitely stuck me, you can never have so much fail since the virtual boy. By ignoring paraplegics who use controllers to play games you are completely making life very depressing and annoying that they can't play any so called "good" games that the 360's natal has to offer.

You see with the Wii the Wiimote also can act as a controller and movements can be used with the hands. Ok so if you don't have any hands you have to use a classic controller and use your feet, which makes a lot of trouble for you if you're playing an fps. But at least most games on the current systems allows for people without legs to still play games.

So Natal is officially flushed as an epic fail.

So Ridley Scott is Directing an Alien prequel?

2009-08-04T19:06:00.003+01:00

Ok I know this is now OLD news now but Ridley Scott is not only producing but Directing an Alien prequel.

I have no idea what it will be about. I hope it has something to do with the space jockeys, then again it might just end up like the Star Wars prequels and be all friendly safe and marketable. I'm not saying don't make as much money out of things as possible, but I'm saying that Alien films have lost their way, and become mindless.

I'd like to see another thriller again to be honest, but not another rehash of the original. Something equally as scary, but with a different plot. I don't know, a lot of Alien fans are happy, but I'm wary about Scott's new venture, I'll have to see more information on the plot, a trailer or a leaked script before I got excited about things just yet.

5 Games that I hate, but "shouldn't"

2009-08-04T16:41:00.009+01:00

Ok I've been thinking there are a LOT of games out there which got a high score, but REALLY didn't deserve it. Here's 5 that I've played, and really hated

Ok as someone who enjoyed playing through Resident Evil 4, I should be expected to enjoy Resident Evil 5 right? Well I did, but it still makes me angry that they completely strayed away from the horror element. The gameplay and some of the other stuff was lazy too, and despite seeing all the hard work that went into motion capture and animation; they really cut back on a physics engine that worked for a PS3

So which Mario? Generally all of them. I've never been a fan of the greasy fat Italian git. He's just a retard, and his brother Luigi should be the star, he at least seems less retarded. I liked Mario as Jumpman in Donky-Kong, but absolutely hated, and I mean throw the controller at the screen kinda hate, the original Mario Bros. Despite the game being grounded in reality, and I can imagine a really great survival horror sprouting off from the ideas of exploring the sewers and finding giant mutated turtles, crabs and fleas. this game sucked, it was horrid. Then came Super Mario; this game was ok, it's challenging, and enjoyable despite the horrible non Sega colour palette, I can at least see that it was a good game. Then game the port of Doki-Doki panic aka Super Mario Bros 2. This came with better graphics at the loss of decent gameplay. You now had to pick and throw objects at the ground, now for Doki-Doki, that was fine; but that isn't a Mario game, it's just as much a Mario game than Resident Evil 5's a Resident Evil game. Mario 3 I can't complain about, it was back to the old Mario, but to be honest after that mario got bad, i mean Mario 64 was horrid. I'm wasn't too keen, but it's better than the 3D Sonics. DEAR GOD IT'S BETTER.

However Mario is making a comeback with Paper Mario, Super Smash Bros, Mario Kart and the NEW Super Mario Bros for DS and Wii. But generally I prefer Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3 Sonic and Knuckles and Sonic CD more than the entire Mario games collection put together, apart from Smash Bros, I'm afraid that's way too entertaining.

Anyway I'm guessing what I'm trying to say is that I generally hate Mario, and you can go fuck yourself.

I'm sorry but the video-game adaption of this comic/graphic novel is horrid. I can't believe anyone could give this higher than 3/10. It's everything a FPS shouldn't be, and that is just awkward, slow and sloppy to control. Everything is made 100x harder than any other FPS, and I just don't get it. There was nothing pleasurable about playing this game. The only thing I'd rather not play are the next two games.

I HATE FF VIII, it's horid. To save me explaining why I'll link you to Spoony's Final Fantasy VIII review. http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/category/final-fantasy-viii/

Despite playing the first level and enjoying the game, I soon noticed how retarded this game really is. For example the aiming system is unresponsive, and way to basic. I mean there are so many more action games which have a far better aiming system, and I just don't get why testers ok'd this system. The fact that the manuel aim is jerky and clunky doesn't help either, in fact they have to give indications on if you have a head shot lined up.

Probably the worst part of this is the stealth element. First of all as soon as a guard spots a pixel of you the game is over, whereas in a stealth game like Metal Gear Solid you can evade,and reset the parameters , the fact that these guys don't even radio for help giving you time to eliminate them is stupid, on another hand the AI can be too easy, I mean their friend can be electrocuted in front of them, or head-shotted not to far away and they don't even investigate? Fuck you! I've known blind, deaf, and dumb paraplegic people that make better soldiers than they do.

The third major thing that is terrible is the radar.

So in MGS you got the layout of the map, the position of the enemy, and their field of vision. In this you barely get their position, you get no layout of the map, and you don't get a field of vision. Now granted a field of vision isn't necessary, but a decent radar would be nice IF YOU'RE GOING TO INCLUDE ONE.

There are way too many complaints about this game, and has to be one of the most frustrating games I've played, not because of the difficulty, but because of the bad gameplay, the bad controls making every move you make 100x harder than it should be. A game should be challenging because it's the player at fault, not because the game is being a sadistic asshole!

However it's the one game on my list which I'd actually like to see remand....Hmmmm, that and XIII. I enjoyed the story to both Syphon Filter and XIII, I just think that they need a serious overhaul with the gameplay.

So there you go these are by top 5 games that I shouldn't hate, but I despise!

Leaked Freddy make-up!

2009-07-26T14:49:00.007+01:00

Well I just thought I'd share the leaked Freddy make-up, and my thoughts. The people who leaked it are Forces Of Geek, but I'm getting it off Horror-Movies.ca

freddy-scars.jpg

Well I'm guessing this is just in the make-up van, because he doesn't look very intimidating, Freddy here does look very realistic, he does look like a victim rather than a villain, but I'm sure when JEH acts the part, the victim look completely goes away. Lets hope so anyway!

For those not wanting to click on the pic link Freddy just looks like a genuine burn victim: He has blotches of puckered skin, some raw scars and even some puss laking from his cranium. Very different, very real, but I don't think this picture does it justice. Lets hope a trailer does!

EDIT: It has proved to been fake, but it does seem the three blotches on the make-up on Freddy's left cheek match, so it's a convincing fake if that, but I must admit it was a good fake. We still have hope that the real freddy make-up in more threatening!

NoES @ Comic Con

2009-07-25T14:01:00.002+01:00

Well I've seen the reviews at Comic Con's big reveal. No we don't see Freddy's face, but apparently the reboot actually has some promise.

We get to see Freddy being firebombed. We get some footage which is close to the original too and as predicted Jackie Earle Haley makes a great Freddy. So could this be anothere rare remake that actually has some punch. The cynical critic in me shouts NO, but the Elm Street fan in me orgasms at what is described, if only I could see the footage myself (Fuller said he'd plead with WB to get it publicly released, which is nice of him). I'm going to see if anyone snuck some footage out and give a report on it then. I've gone from 50/50 to 60/50, if the footage is as awesome as described, I'm definitely going to watch it.

NoES Official Teaser poster!

2009-07-23T01:18:00.003+01:00

So what do I think of the new Freddy? Well I'm going to wait to see if they reveal more freddy or if they keep what he looks like a mystery until release. All should be revealed today!

Anyway from what I can see it looks like his skin is more puckered like a burn victim after they've had a few days for the skin to heal, but not after skin grafts. If I look very closely it seems that maybe one or two ligaments in his jaw are visible similar to the Dark Knight. To be honest if they went all out and made his face like Harvey Dent's that would be a brilliant modern depiction of Freddy, but I think they didn't want to spoil too much of Freddy's original look. It also looks like he has no lips, or that the lips have been severely burned away , his ears look like they have lost shape and might have skin covering most of the ear to make it look flat and misshapen.

Altogether I'm happy with the look, and I'm happy with the Actor, and I'm happy that the script doesn't have him speak much like in the original. It seems that he's being kept close to the shadows too like a boogyman in a nightmare. Altogether I'm currently happy with the two images I've seen; now all I need is to see the trailer to really see If I'm happy with where this film is going. I need to see if it looks wrong, or if it actually looks like it might be worth watching.

Nightmare On Elm Street (update)

2009-07-22T21:15:00.007+01:00

Well what with filming wrapping up for the reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street I better give you the first picture of Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Kruger, with another one being released on IGN soon, oh and of course I'm guessing a full reveal of the Freddy make-up will be revealed tomorrow at ComicCon as well as a teaser hopefully. I bet those in post production have been whipping up something with avid and after effects :P

So here's the new Freddy...

Yeah OK at first there doesn't seem much difference between the old and the new, but this one seems darker, and Freddy seems to be sticking to the shadows a lot more. Hopefully Bayer will stick to the shadowy Freddy for a while, and pull a Jaws and reveal him in the last act, but I doubt it, this is an MTV iPod generation style horror movie, suspense like that rarely happens in those slashers.

I'm also here to kinda apologise to Brad Fuller and to Sam Bayer. Although I do think Fuller does tend to butcher some classic films with no real reason to remake them, I do agree that some franchisees do need to be rebooted. I mean the ortiginal Nightmare (and Wes Craven's New Nightmare) and Friday's 1- 3 were all classics, the rest were awful; I'd have complained my heart out.

But lets face reality here: Nightmare on Elm Street SUCKED after the original. I mean I'm sure Brad Fuller loves the first Nightmare movie, I'm sure Wes is one of his idols, and I'm sure his heart is in the right place. The same goes for the Friday reboot. Friday's 1 - 3 were an amazing trilogy and then it was absolutely fucking butchered with all the others. So why not reboot? I wasn't too sure why they rebooted the Texas Chainsaw Massacre because if there were sequels, they were dead and buried.

However Fuller is doing a very brave thing, and I don't think many people have the balls to do his own contemporary vision of a classic (a high budget fan film), for that I completely salute him. He may be Bay's bitch but he's trying his hardest to please hardcore fans and people who don't know the arse-end of a classic film. I'm a budding screenwriter, and I share the same passion for film-making as he does. I may not critically see eye to eye with the guy all the time, but I guess that's what makes humans great. He does make some very persuasive points on his blog. So yeah, despite me being critical on your work, I guess I also respect you Mr Fuller, but I'm afraid I've only enjoyed ONE (I think) your Boss' films and that was The Rock; fuckin' A.

So now an apology to Samuel Bayer: Ok You have done some pretty cool music videos, and you are talented, but you must understand that it is very nerve racking when a fucking music video director; no matter how talented takes on a remake of a fucking amazing film. So yeah you get a sorry, but please understand. However Ridley Scott was just doing commercials before Alien, so this could be your "Ailen" good luck.

Anyway pretty excited to see what they release in 24 hours. But when the film is released next year and it's a complete and utter fuck up (sorry but it isn't possible, Freddy's Dead was pretty fucking scraping the bottom of the barrel there. But I assure any readers I will be just as critical and fair on this film as any other. I'm open to a new vision, and Jackie Earle Haley is a really good performer and can hold a lot of energy, so I'm very much 50/50 on this one.

Microsoft Office available online - FREE

2009-07-14T09:28:00.004+01:00

I was looking at BBC News (probably the most reliable bar AlJazeera news, seriously want a true fair and balanced news story take it to AlJazeera).

Anyway to rival Google's online range of web applications Microsoft have opened up a free lite version of office which can be used and accessed via the web. To be honest if you own windows Office is one of the most downloaded, hacked programs in the world, I don't see the point in web apps until the browser becomes our OS (like with Google Chrome OS). Then again on another side I don't trust an os that relies on your computer to be online all the time, it just means my privacy goes down the drain.

I'll stick with a solid "tried and tested" OS like MAC, Linux/Unix or Windows. Especially when good applications generally are not made by google. When I hear google I just hear gimmick, and I want an OS which I can write documents, edit a video (and not on the shitty video editors like Adobe Premiere, Windows movie maker or whatever the MAC alternative is. I want something solid like Avid and Final Cut. I want to make special effects professionally via After Effects or Motion, I want to make a professional DVD using DVD studio Pro, I don't want some second rate google app. Fuck that shit.

Still all this is very exciting and a leap ahead, it's just whether it's a leap in the right or wrong direction.

Alien Prequel or Reboot?

2009-07-14T09:09:00.002+01:00

Well on one hand there was "aparently" an alien reboot, and I must admit as soon as I posted my last rant I discovered it may have actually have been an alien prequel. Unless both projects are going ahead like Evil Dead 4 and Evil Dead reboot, both produced by Sam Rami, although only Evil Dead 4 is allegedly written and directed by Mr Rami.

So it seems that Ridley Scott is doing a prequel. Now is it me or did anyone imagine the prequel to Alien being an Anime? Or is that me. I just imagined the story of the Space Jockey's to be well an anime. But no afull live action prequel to alien is on the way.

Now there are two things preventing me from ranting at the moment:

1) Ridley Scott is producing. Which means it doesn't matter what the writers or the directors do. Ridley Scott is responsible for every creative choice. If he doesn't liuke it he can shut the production down until someone sees it his way. That's what producers do. Which is why Kingdom of the Crystal Scull was an epic fail, not because of Steven Spielberg, but because the fact that George Lucas was producer and did re-writes to the original script. So hopefully Ridley might not have gone insane just yet, and wants to produce the kind of movie that works just as well as his original.

2) The relatively unknown director. Ok I had a go at the Nightmare on Elm Street Director, but that is because he's known for producing music videos, and not known for directing suspence horror and slashers. I'm not putting dwn the man for being able to direct a music video, I mean I'm not interested in the music videos he's made, maybe they're good ones? Who knows? The fact is that he better be damn good to do a faithfull reimaging/reboot of NoES.

Ok so this director is realively a newbie, he made some stuff that is unrated on IMDB despite being made in 1994 an 1996, although they get rave reviews, and Ridley Scott was directing commecials (yes I'm digging myslef a BIG hole on the NoES director here) and he turned out to be cinematic genious.

So these are the two reasons why I'm not flailing my arms about in rage, and I will wait for the reports of the story details...

Web 3.0 has arrived

2009-07-09T19:45:00.002+01:00

So with all the excitement about Google Chrome i decided to look into the next generation Web Browsers bring Web 3.0 to us, and what I came across was Opera Unite. now I do know of the Bullshit that Opera's spin doctors are trying to pull. But Opera Unite does seem like the next generation of Web.

This browser enables YOU to become your own personal web server. First of all it allows you to share a folder with th rest of the world allowing file sharing to be enabled on the web browser.

Then you have the fridge which is a bit like Facebook's wall, but with a gimmicky fridge GUI, so anyone who knows your personal URL can write a note to you, in which again you have complete control on what's written and you can delete messages from others, or stop them completely.

The next thing is the Lounge which is your very own privately hosted chat room which you can invite friends to hang out and chill and make conversation, which makes these kind of chat services redundant, I think though it would help to have your own personal private IM service if i'm honest.

Then you have the ability (so long as your computer at home is running the opera unite browser) to access your music collection from anywhere in the world by sharing that folder.

Then the best thing about this service is that you can become your very own Web Server, meaning that you can have your own desktop committed to becoming a Webserver hosting your own website, and all that limits you then is the size of your hardware, and not some company's, truly giving you back the power to the people.

BUT that isn't all, Opera Unite has the addition of all the cool Opera run web widgets so certain things like the google language tools, wikipedia, and your gmail accounts can all run simultaneously as the actual browser without having to run in different programs.

If Opera is anything to go by, then I hope Google Chrome can enhance the already amazing Web 3.0 technology. Check Opera Unite out now!

I fucking LOVE The Onion!

2009-07-09T15:20:00.001+01:00

Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out US Assholes

The Legends are TRUE!

2009-07-08T14:39:00.002+01:00

If you travel down any dark corridor or cave in cyberspace, or in any internet café, or you speak to anyone who plays WoW and wears T-Shirts written in binary you would have probably heard the legends of Google building their own Operating System.
Many a geek laughed at these words; but many a nerd did not, their expressions blank and full of sincerity.
Today Google finally made it official: They are building an OS to rival Windows. The name? OS, Chrome OS. It’s licence? XXYV72136Y1ZY223.

Apparently this OS is being “built from the ground up” (like how many times have we heard that phrase before?) aparently it's rival Windows was designed before the internet (well um, how about the internet being around before Windows motherfucker?) and so this operating system has the internet built in mind. Well pardon me if I’m wrong but don't current systems run the internet just fine? I mean what can you possibly do to make this OS any different? What happens if you want to play a game? That's right you use a PC or a console, no game developers want to spend money to develop for a third party, they have trouble enough coding for Windows, hardly anyone bothers with MAC, now they want people to bother with Chrome OS?

Chrome OS will be released by 2010 and be available for mobile and palmtop computers, later to be built for PC and Laptops. Let’s just see what Google can do for us that Apple and Microsoft can't already...

This is Anonymous Gamer saying...

You stay classy internets!

The A-Team

2009-06-29T19:17:00.003+01:00

Well the Plan finally came together. Now we have to wait for either a conformation of a movie or a new TV series, because they're apparently plans for both. But it's all smoke and Mirrors at the moment.

So who's been cast? Well Liam Neeson is playing Hannibal Smith, which I really like actually.

and Bradley Cooper from Alias and The Hangover will be playing Face. Well I guess he is a smarmy smug bastard so It'll do.

There are still no conformations on who is playing B.A or Murdock. But I suggest they look no further than Ving Rahmes and Jim Carry, although I heard Common was on the list for playing B.A. One word of advice, don't. The same for Woody Harrelson and Chris Pine up for the Roles of Murdock: you just know Jim Carry was born for that role.

The script is written by Michael Brandt the writer of 3:10 to Yuma and Wanted, only one of the films I liked (prize for those who can guess which one?). So I give the chances of this movie being good a 50% chance thus far until I see a trailer.

The film will be directed by the Director of Smokin' Aces, which I haven't seen due to not caring about the film, maybe I should see it before saying the project is doomed?

So you may be trying to figure out, what do I think? Am I thinking NOOOOO! Or am i thinking YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ? Or am I thinking something else?

No what's on my mind is "don't fuck this up, oh god please don't fuck this up"

Jason on Ice not happening?

2009-06-28T20:47:00.002+01:00

Ok so according to IGN Brad Fuller from Platinum Dunes has said he can't be bothered with going out in the snow just because he didn't like it last time. Here he has a great opportunity to bring something visually and dramatically new to the Friday franchise, and all he can think about is his own ass?If you want to make soemthing good you have to suffer for your work: Film making isn't about all about making decisions in a LAY-Z-BOY, it's about making the film work properally, even if it means getting your hands' dirty.

I understand that Brad Fuller's heart is in the right place, I underrstand he want's to remake this films (god knows why, but he does). However if he's not willing to push himself to get a good product then the product will never be good.

Remember kids: Effort in = Effort out.

Christian Bale denies playing Snake

2009-06-25T10:09:00.005+01:00

Well it seems that Bale has denied he is playing Snake in the Metal Gear Solid movie. But after his Keanu Reeves style performance as John Connor who would want him playing Snake? Bale has played some great roles, he's probably the second greatest Batman after Keaton, and it's debated if Adam West should be even in the list of movie Batman's. Which reminds me: I wonder if they'll ever make a live action Batman TV series after the 3rd film?

Anyway onto the topic at hand. Bale is a good actor, he's from the UK so that pretty much makes him great since most people who come from Ireland and England have to be good otherwise the acting schools here beat them with Nuns (yes they beat them over the fucking head with Nuns who are holding rulers so you get a double beating), so great British actors like Bale, Hopkins, (Zeta-Jones?), Connery, Craig are all up there, but they shouldn't be allowed to play hyper-real characters, because it just doesn't work. Bale has proved it with John Connor, Bale just plays a gruff moody guy with a personality of a brick. We know Bale is a good actor. He either just can't play these kinds of roles, or McG just can't direct characterisation for shit. I'd like to vote for the latter.

Make Metal Gear Solid into a CGI movie: have Hayter voice him: He's a great Voice Actor, and a decent enough screenwriter. Make the movie interesting enough and intelligent (like in the games) and make sure the CGI characters look good and we might have a great CGI film. Just don't do it live action, it's just wrong.

Although Bale has not been confronted on playing Solid Snake, he apparently plays the games. Good on ya....

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

2009-06-23T16:11:00.003+01:00

According to Gieson Cacho of A+E Interactive blogs the way the game monitors you has been reviled, and it's pretty simple, yet horrifically complex into the way the game could pan out (lets just hope their's a UFO ending).

After you have completed the questionnaire the game seems to test your results to see if you are true to what you say. Cacho gives an example:

"For example, after the accident in which Harry loses his daughter, he’ll have to start looking for her. Eventually, Harry will come across a fork in a hallway. He can either go left and search through a door clearly marked exit or he can go right and search the bathrooms.

What’s fascinating about the Shattered Memories is that the game takes that decision into account. It says something about you when during your search for your daughter, you use the exit or the bathroom. And that’s not even saying which bathroom you enter — the men’s or the ladies’ room. Would you search the guys bathroom knowing that your daughter probably wouldn’t be there or do you freshen up?"

This sounds insanely cool and simple, yet I wonder how much it will affect gameplay? I mean I know that Cybil's physique can change from not very attractive and covered up, to a boob popping police uniform. I know her personality changes, but does this mean as you progress you can change their personalities back and fourth? Can you change what your enemies look like? Does Silent Hill change its layout as you progress?! What will this mean for walkthroughs?!

Ok thinking about this give me a headache.

This is anonymous gamer saying:

You stay classy internets

Fiendish Feet

2009-06-22T15:41:00.003+01:00

Does anyone remember them? They were awesome!

X-Box 360 vs Playstation 3

2009-06-22T13:27:00.004+01:00

For me there’s a clear winner here but for those considering getting the cheaper X-Box 360 lets go and compare the facts about the two consoles. No snobbish opinions here just solid fact.

So lets start with power.

Processor speed:

The X-Box 360 has a Tri core 3.2 Ghz Xenon CPU processor.
The Playstation 3 however has a Cell Broadband Engine (3.2 GHz POWER-based PPE with seven 3.2 GHz SPEs)

Roughly translated into ENGLISH it means that the 360 has 3 processors, whereas the Playstation 3 has 6 processors running at the same speed as the 360’s. One of the processors isn’t even used, it looks like Sony just put it there just to take the piss.

Playstation 3 = 1, Xbox 360 = 0

Ok now graphics power:

The 360 has a 500 MHz codenamed "Xenos" (ATI custom design)
Whereas the PS3 has 550 MHz RSX 'Reality Synthesizer'[93] (based on NVIDIA G70 architecture)

Again for those who are human beings instead of robots it means the PS3 has more potential to produce better visuals.

Playstation 3 = 2, X-Box360 = 0

Ok now the RAM

In jargon:

The 360 has 512 MB GDDR3 @ 700 MHz shared between CPU & GPU 10 MB EDRAM GPU frame buffer memory
Whereas the PS3 has 256 MB XDR @ 3.2 GHz 256 MB GDDR3 @ 650 MHz, GPU can access CPU memory

Ok so you want to know what that means? It means that although the 360 has more RAM it has to share it out between all it’s processes, whereas the PS3 has different RAM for different processes, which makes it less likely to crash, and give you sharper graphics in theory.

Playstation 3 = 3, X-Box 360 = 0

Ok so now we’ve looked at the engines under the bonnet, let’s look at the designs. The first thing is

The main shell:

This is the only opinionated piece here, but I think both consoles are ugly pieces of shit. The Playstation 3 looks like a Bread Bin/Console/George Foreman grill monstrosity. Whereas the 360 just looks like a PC. But just for slightly more imagination I’m going to have to give the Playstation 3 a point.

Playstation 3 = 4, X-Box 360 = 0

Ok now the cooling fan I know it sound stupid yes, but the cooling fan in the 360 sound like a wind tunnel compared to the silent purr of the Playstation 3, every 360 owner has mentioned about their noisy cooling fan, and they are very surprised that the Playstation doesn’t have this problem.

Playstation 3 = 4, X-Box 360 = 0

Controller:

The X-Box 360 controller has to be one of the most uncomfortable if all the controllers, and not to mention having to have it’s own battery pack, whereas the Playstation 3 controller not only is comfortable, but has Six-Axis control and a 15 minute charge gives it a whopping 40 hour battery life. It’s just a genius controller.

Playstation 3 = 5, X-Box360 = 0

So now we get down to the consoles abilities:

Both seem pretty much the same in ability, although the 360 has Live Arcade which gives it a point.

Playstation 3 = 5 X-Box 360 = 1

HD-DVD vs Blu-Ray:

Well this is pretty clear: Not only for your gaming enjoyment but for entertainment value. Blu Ray doesn’t just hold more memory so games companies can build bigger and better games for the PS3, but Blu-Ray is the dominant format, and so you not only get a games console but a Blu-Ray player, so non-gamers can watch their favourite movies in HD!

Playstation 3 = 6 Xbox 360 = 1

Break-Downs:

There must me nothing more annoying than a console you play often breaking down on you. So what is less likely to break down on you?

Well the statistics are far higher for a 360 getting the red ring of death that a PS3 dying, although both seem to have their problems crashing. BUT the Playstation 3 is more future proof.

Playstation 3 = 7 Xbox 360 = 1

So now we come to one of the most important thing about a games console: the games library.
Well the 360 does have an impressive games library, with some great “exclusives” however it was out a whole year or so before the Playstation 3. Not only that but most of the 360 exclusives are have either been ported to the PC or have now been ported to the PS3 and even the Wii. This makes the 360 just a PC which can do less. If anyone tries to argue about the games library on the 360 though I have four words for them: Metal, Gear, Solid, Four. Yes, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Online Play:

Despite the 360 having a wider range of online games the Playstation is catching up, and it’s catching up fast. The bonus is with the Playstation is that it's plug and play, whereas with the X-Box 360 there a monthly internet subscription charge which will slowly burn a hole in your pocket.

Playstation 3 = 8, X-Box 360 = 1

Well finally comes the price. Well there is a HUGE difference between the PS3 and the 360. The 360 is less than half the price of the Playstation 3, and that can sway gamers a lot.

Playstation 3 = 9, X-Box 360 = 2

Well just from sheer fact over opinion I can see that we have one clear winner here. You may argue that the PS3 is overpriced. Which granted it is quite expensive. However it’s great value for money: Not only do you get a superior console, but you get a Blu-Ray player bundled in too. This just tips the scales of how the Playstation 3 is just a far superior machine, and the money spent is well worth it. With a total of 9 points against 2, the Sony Playstation 3 is the champion.

Oh and if you’re still unconvinced: Metal gear Solid 4!

Resident Evil 5

2009-06-22T13:21:00.002+01:00

Well this is embarrassing I saved but never posted my Review on Resident Evil 5! So here it is!

Resident Evil 5:

Everyone who’s anyone will have heard it, if you haven’t heard about it either in the papers/radio with its bad press about racism or the massive billboards and posters that litter our streets and highways then you probably don’t go out much or you don’t have any eyes or ears. So I’m guessing you guys want to know what I think? Well it was ok, the game itself is pretty solid, and it will take you a good 15 hours or less to complete depending on your skill level. The story is of course the run of the mill action flick, and the graphics aren’t too shabby either. But I know you guys want to know in detail about the game, so like usual I’ll split my review up into categories from gameplay right down to the graphics.

Graphics:

Ok so everyone has been raging on how amazing the graphics are, but if Metal gear Solid 4 and Resident Evil 5 had a fight, Old Snake would put Chris Redfield into hospital. The Playstation 3 can just handle more and of course this game isn’t true HD due to it having to work on both an X-Box 360 and a Playstation 3. This isn’t to say that the graphics suck, they don’t, it’s just that they could have been better that what was advertised. The layout of the graphics is the thing that gets me, I mean Jesus Christ. I understood that Resident Evil 4 pretty much had to be laid out in a grid system much like the Tomb Raider series but for fuck sake, you’d think on a next gen console they’d make the environmental graphics more interactive, you character moves so stiffly it’s like controlling a tank, I thought those controls were gone with the days of the PS2 and the Gamecube? This is a fucking next gen console, as an audience we should have the right to expect more, and expect the best, but it just comes to such a disheartenment that the graphics are so limited and stiff compared to some other games where graphical and environmental elements are so fun, and draw you into the game, rather than taking you out of it. I suppose that this is also a gameplay complaint, but fuck it.
Another major complaint is how fucking lazy Capcom care with coming up with new and original enemy animations. You can pretty much see that Capcom have just lifted the enemy animations from Resident Evil 4 and just smacked them into Resident Evil 5. It’s just a shame that a new system wasn’t implemented like a ragdoll physics engine. I mean they’re making Resident Evil 5, yeah, Resident Evil fucking 5. This is one of the most important franchises of the gaming industry, and they just take Resident Evil 4, and build it around that? I’m not badmouthing RE4 either, it’s just that RE5 is on the Playstation fucking 3 and it pisses me off.
Another slight annoyance, I suppose it could also be put under story though but WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CHRIS REDFIELD? I mean he must have had a steroid addiction between Code veronica and now because Fuck a Duck, he’s arms a larger than Rambo’s! Just what the fuck were Capcom thinking?! Is this the role model Capcom think is a good thing to follow “Hey kids do steroids, look like a freak! Then you too can be this cool!” Does anyone remember when Resident Evil was about average guys getting into situations which were almost impossible to survive? Well now it doesn’t matter because you know that Chris can handle himself, he’s a fucking tank! I wonder if that’s why he handles like one?

So the graphics look pretty, but they could have been better, I’m going to have to give the graphics an 8/10.

Gameplay:

Ok this is where the game lacks most substance. First of all the game pretty much handles like Resident Evil 4. You may be asking why that’s a bad thing? Well we’re dealing with gameplay which worked on the previous generation, but with new physics engines being invited and games like Tomb Raider: Underworld and Dead Space just getting the gameplay right in factors of flow and ease of use I just can’t give this high marks, if and when you get used to the tank like controls you can breeze through the game, especially with the piss poor A.I of the enemies, although that’s balanced out with the piss poor A.I of your supporting character in single player mode, but more on that later.
The game really only starts to shine with its extras and collectables. By playing certain modes, and collecting a certain amount of points won during each chapter you can unlock anything from Unlimited Ammo and extra weapons all the way to collectable character models and character bios, but I haven’t even mentioned the best part of the game: The Mercenaries. This game really does stand out, it’s intense and takes a long time to master the only complaint I have is the sheer lack of unlock able characters: All we have is Sheva, Chris, Jill and Wesker all of which can be unlocked over and over again with different costumes and Weapons. I’m sorry but this again shows Capcom’s lazy side: Where’s the fucking variety? I mean Resident Evil 4 had HUNK from Resident Evil 2, where’s he or other characters from previous Resident Evil? Where’s the love Capcom?

Ok now you remember I mentioned the AI of your partner? Yeah well IT’S HORRID! First of all the AI partner is extremely health conscious and cannot for the life of them judge when it’s the right time to use them. Your AI character always, ALWAYS uses up ammo faster than Stallone I swear it. I gave Sheva a full magazine once and the next 3 seconds it was gone, some magic trick huh? The AI is bound to run into trouble and only hides when you hide, and then they start fucking with your inventory, I’ve spent many times during gameplay just shouting at the television to tell my AI character to stop fucking giving me ammo I don’t even need, and taking away the ammo you do. It’s just fucking moronic. That’s why Capcom enabled online co-op, but unless you have a decent broadband connection, in which if you aren’t someone who plays online games 24/7, then again you’re fucked unless you live in the US or Korea or even Japan. However if your connection does last out online co-op and two player split screen can be awfully fun, and the main game actually (dare I say?) seems fun and enjoyable, instead of being so frustrating you feel like drilling a hole into your skull for entertainment, as at least that isn’t as painful as the horrid AI and the out-dated control scheme.

Oh and one more thing: The Inventory system: Let’s explain it. Ok you have hotkeys on the up, down, left and right on the D-Pad, but you also have non hotkeyable items in the other spaces like so: There has been so man times I needed to hotkey an item not placed in the up down left right on the D-Pad and it has cost me my life. This has to be the second most frustrating thing about this game, I just hope for Capcom’s sake that they change the gameplay for the reboot/sequel Resident Evil 6 rumoured to be set in London.

So overall the gameplay isn’t bad, it just isn’t as good as say Dead Space (one of the greatest Survival Horrors in my opinion). Capcom have tried to create tension and suspense in an action game by giving us awkward control, which isn’t the way a horror game should be built. I’m all up for challenges, but not challenges with having to wrestle with my PS3 controller. The things that really save this game is the wonderfully tense and fun mercenaries and the trinkets that any old school Resi fan will smile at. Altogether the Gameplay gets an above average 6.7/10

Story:

Ok I’m going to cut straight to the chase here. The story is better than RE4, the voice acting is a LOT better. BUT it still doesn’t mean it was good. I have seen bricks more interesting than Chris Redfield, and the storyline toward the end made me want to hit myself repeatedly with a frying pan; because at least I’d lose less brain cells that way! The story was trying to be “too epic” but it just ended up epically failing on all levels. You see Konami manage to come up with crazy stories, but manage to put so much intelligence into their scripts it’s extremely hard not to become engrossed in their 20 minute+ cut scenes. Resident Evil 5 tried to do what Metal gear Solid 4 (and generally all the MGS games) does and just fell flat on its face.

The story is just an average kind of mad scientist destroying the world, good guy stopping him explosions here and there blah blah blah. 5/10

So all in all Resident Evil 5 really deserves two scores: if you haven’t played Resident Evil yet, I’d recommend you get a Wii or a Gamecube and play Resident Evil Remake and Resident Evil 4 first, because I think this game does make a decent action game, and it’s definitely worth adding to your games collection, but you may prefer the older ones, and it’s worth checking them out before you play this one. For you guys who haven’t played a Resident Evil title yet I give this game a 7/10

For those who are hardcore fans of the series you’ll probably only want to get this for the “story” and to add to your collection. It’s a real shame, Resident Evil 5 (despite being an action game rather than a Horror game) had great promise, it’s surprisingly addictive, and I must admit is a slight guilty pleasure. BUT with it’s gameplay flaws and unintelligent, average story it really dragged the game down for me: 6/10

Ghostbusters: The videogame

2009-06-22T10:52:00.004+01:00

Well it's been 24 hours exactly since I completed Ghostbusters: the Videogame and I must say it didn't disappoint. This is one of the greatest interactive movies in videogame history, and Ghostbusters is one of the best movies in Hollywood History so when a sequel to Ghostbusters II was announced to be a videogame there was a lot to live up to.

For those living under rocks Ghostbusters the Videogame is the sequel we all wanted but never got. It follows the Ghostbusters two years after their encounter with Vigo in 1991. So we get to see Venkman, Stanz, Zedermore and Spenglar all in their prime again, with full heads of non-grey hair. Let me set the story up for you without giving any story away. Since 1989 the Ghostbusters have been renouned as Heros, and have ridden in alongside a new Mayor who has made the Ghostbusters a public service. So you get payed by the council to trap Ghosts rather than being able to con people out of $5 000 + per ghost, you get paid a fair wage, however the up side is you don't get sued because the council have paid an insurance policy so any damage caused directly by the Ghostbuster's equipment is paid directly by anyone claiming damages. A new member of the Ghostbusters has joined the team of four making them 5. The thing is that the new member is never called by his name (they don't want to get too attached after what happened to the last guy), he never utters a word either. This 5th member of the Ghostbusters is someone who tests out Egon's new additions to the proton pack that are far too dangerous to test on the important members of the team. Ok so that's where our plot starts, but I'm not telling you anything about the game's plot, but I'll review it later. So...

Graphics:

This game isn't the best graphically, the cut scenes have problems with lip synch, there was a moment where the frame rate dropped to a frame a second, but that was completely my fault. The depictions of the team a great artistic renditions and the style isn't 100% framed for real life, but everyone’s a slight caricature which is why I can give a higher grade for the graphics. The ghosts look nice, and the atmosphere is spot on with the previous films. Sometimes it does feel like you are watching the 3rd film, where other times you can be pulled slightly out of the illusion of watching a 3rd film. The game also gave me a headache and eyestrain when I played it for long periods of time. Something I've never encountered before in a game, so epileptics may want to consult their doctor before playing.

Graphics get a solid 8.5/10

Story:

I can say that the charm, heart, and comedy of the first movie has been translated here and the game focuses more on the comedy aspect like the first film that the action in the second. The story makes you have a warm fuzzy feeling inside, however it's ruined by the ending which I feel could have had an extra scene at the end of the credits, and It just didn't feel as triumphant as the ending of the previous two. If there were other nit-picks I felt that there should have been similar credits like in Ghostbusters II.

So I'm giving the story another 8.5/10

Gameplay:

Well I have most reservations wit the gameplay. I found that the environment wasn't as destructible as I liked, and I felt that the environments were very inconsistent. For example some wooden objects can be smashed to smithereens, but the bookshelves in the NY public library can withstand a proton beam. It just made you wince at the fact that this was a game rather than the third story, and it took you out of it a bit. The largest complaint was the firehouse. Despite at first being awesome, you realise you can't interact with any of the Ghostbusters I just wan them to at least tell me to go away ,a and the fact i couldn't play Qbert as a mini-game was annoying. It was the general lack of interactivity with made me really sad. Another complaint is the huge difficulty spike toward then end of the game (if you've played it you know hat I mean). You're bombarded with a shit storm of unlimited enemies, and then you’re expected to solve the puzzle at the same time. It took me so many attempts it was unreal. I mean I like a challenge but not one that makes me want to throw the game out of the window. Thank god my love for Ghostbusters is so great that I couldn't throw something so awesome out just for throwing in one part that was a huge pain in the ass. Another complaint I had was there was no pause button for cut scenes apart from the PS button, which means I sometime skipped cut scenes which would have rather watched, especially that the in game cut scenes are not available on the movie viewer, also after a game over the same loading screen popped up, and sometimes hearing the Ghostbuster's theme over and over makes you kind hate it, and I don't want to hate the them tune.

The multiplayer game seems ok, there's a nice variety, and the fact you can play as the original Ghostbutsers on missions to bust ghosts is awesome. Not sure what other multiplayer modes there could have been really, but it made me wanting more that's all I know!

Overall the gameplay would feel better with more interactivity, and possibly some more multiplayer, other than that the gameplay is spot on!

Gameplay gets an 8/10

Sound

Well pretty much the voice acting gets 10/10 from everyone, but maybe not William Atherton (his Peck didn't sound as angry as Peck in the first film) and Alyssa Milano. Although William Atherton did quite well for his first videogame.

The main nitpick about the sound design was the lack of an original score. I mean it was very welcome having the score from the first two films, but it just seemed that some more original music would make it stand out and be a true sequel.

Sound gets a 9/10

Overall Ghostbusters: The Videogame does bring some much wanted Ghostbusters love to the franchise and it’s a welcome sequel. Though there are complaints it holds up pretty well against a lot of games. It brings the right balance of creepiness, fun, humour and action that was so perfect in the first. A few gaming nitpick rather than a plot /script/story nitpicks and it makes a brilliant third addition to the franchise unlike many sequels that have taken their sweet time to arrive.

Overall Score: 8.5/10

Alien reboot/remake/reimaging

2009-06-16T19:50:00.003+01:00

Jesus Mothefucking Titty Barbra Streisand X-Box 360 Cunt Buckets. Why the fuck are they remaking Alien? Why remake a perfect film? The film stands up by today's standards. It's still scary by today's standards, it's a pretty damn mothefucking intelligent thriller (as far as monsters in space can get), it's well acted and the characterisation is pretty much dead on. Like almost all remakes it doesn't need fixing, so why try and fix something that hasn't aged at all?

Ok sure the computer screens are old and have 80's graphics, and sure the explosion at the end wasn't as realistic as today's explosions in space (lol what?). But that's all I can think of which is dated. Everything translates fine, I mean this is as bad as if the remade The Terminator or remade Citizen Kane, The Wickerman or Butch Cassidy (oh wait <_<). Maybe to some extent it's as bad as if they decided to remake Jaws, but at least Jaws is a novel adaptation, and three’s enough unused material in the novel to make a pretty decent remake. Alien wasn't a novel: It was a completely individual piece of art, and it just doesn't make a blind bit of sense.

I cannot urge people more to avoid seeing the alien remake at all costs. Seriously if no-one goes and sees it. They wont make a sequel. This movie must NOT make a profit! I urge any fan of the Alien series that comes across this post to pass it on to another Alien fan until all Alien fans are united against the remake.

Dear God: it's given birth to a terrible remake!

Project Natal

2009-06-16T13:27:00.006+01:00

Ok so Microsoft have their own version of the Sony's iToy. However this time the camera focuses on capturing the moment that the gamer makes without wires and without controls. It's endorsed by "gamer" Steven Spielberg and it may even be out for a new console; but more on that later.

But first of all I've already spotted a problem. Put yourself in this situation. You're in the living room and then someone walks in front of the camera, then what? What happens if you are just happily swinging your arm like a tennis racket and then someone else comes in front of you and starts moving around like an idiot making your character on screen act like a complete twatter? What happens if someone you don't want is accidentally added as a second player as they want to sit and watch you play?

All these questions I'd like answering please? It just seems that Microsoft have tried to get one up on Nintendo and utterly failed.

First of all games that require this technology are going to be harder and thus more expensive to code, and I don't want to mention that you'll look more of an idiot with no motion controller in you hand rather than a wiimote. At least people can see that you're playing wii rather than performing some sort of interruptive dance.

So we know Natal is coming, and we know that some of these faults will be altered. BUT what will be the impact on the console market?

Well I reckon it could go several ways: First of all it could go the way of the Sinclair C5, and we'll all laugh it off in a year. Or it could be successful. Microsoft has two options: Keep it as an add-on with few select games coming out for it. Or they could bring it out as their new controller for the next X-Box.
Well the more sensible is to release it on the 360 to test run it on audiences, if it's a success consider it for the next X-Box.
HOWEVER rumours are circulating that the next X-Box is only a year away and that the peripheral will be boxed with it as a next gen controller. This may be the smartest or the dumbest thing Microsoft could ever do. It could push Sony out of the market, forcing them to lose money with having to quickly build a competitor. OR it could be a horrid expensive disaster. Especially since the "console wars" have only really just heated up, and next gen games have only started to get interesting last year.

So as a game am I excited about project Natel? No, not really. I can hardly get excited about it, neither can I get excited about the Wii's motion plus. But I guess I'd have to sample the new technology first hand before I got anywhere near the excitement when the Revolution (Wii) was first announced.

Well my fingers are getting tired. This is Anonymous Gamer signing off:

You stay classy Internets

Friday 13th Part 2

2009-06-16T11:06:00.008+01:00

Ok so now Rob Zombie is doing a sequel to his "re-imaging" I decided to see if there was a sequel under way for the Friday the 13th reboot. Of course there is.

Now the reboot I actually enjoyed. I thought Jason was slicker this time around. I enjoyed that he was now more like Rambo that just another Michael Myers.

This time around they're "making the kills cleverer" I have no idea what a "clever kill" is. I guess Jason's going to study mathematics so he can throw his machete in such a way that it hits someone square in the head...Oh wait that's already been established that his archery skills are second to none. Then again what the hell else do you expect Jason to do day to day? I mean he's got an abandoned camp around the corner from his hole. He might as well practice his archery, go canoeing and play chess with himself. Lets remember this guy is disfigured - not retarded.

That’s why I like the first three movies, and surprisingly the reboot. I like the character of the grieving deranged mother. I like the irony of the son still being still alive, and I like the fact that like the mother the son is also a tragic villain. I mean he’s a product of society; he could be any of us as we were kids getting bullied if the conditions were right. The fact is he’s not retarded, he’s just had to survive, and hasn’t had psychological counselling. He just wants to live his life alone at Crystal Lake to grieve and kill anyone who disturbs him and anyone who resembles the kind of people who killed his mother. If I were a serial killer I’d probably be Jason.

Anyway another plotline is that we will see Camp Crystal Lake in winter in the snow which to me seems they are visually going to bring something new to the table. I've alsways been a fan of blood in the snow, so I'm visually looking forward to see what they do.

Apart from that all I can guess for now is that this is going to top the other film, and hopefully be less clichéd, but I think those are pretty high hopes. This is another Michael Bay produced Horror, there’s only so much you can expect.

What I'd like to see is actually more of a Rambo type movie. I mean imagine the scene from First Blood when the police are hunting him in the forest. Ok, now imagine the police hunting down Jason and Jason taking them all out one by one? How tense and cool would that be?

Ok now imagine that and put it in the beginning of the second X-Files movie where the FBI are hunting for a dead body in the snow. See where I’m coming from with this?

Either that or do “A Friday the 13th Christmas” where Jason is visited by the spirits of his victims and told the true spirit of Christmas, then ending up playing with some orphans (while throwing boobytrapped snowballs) and having roast bear that he just wrestled single handily. That would be awesome.

Fuck it, as long as it has "Let it snow let it snow let it snow" in the film, like in Die Hard then I'll be happy.

Halloween 2

2009-06-16T10:08:00.009+01:00

So I've only just heard that Rob Zombie is going to be making a sequel to his below par "re-imaging" of Halloween. Seriously Its been like I've had my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears, but then again these films don't really catch my eye, I'm not much of a horror fan, and haven't seen beyond Halloween, and 15 mins of Halloween H20. As I type I'm trying to get up as much input about this film as possible.

For once I truly believe that a (Hollywood) film-maker in this era is making a movie because he enjoys making movies. I'm not sure about this but I don't think Halloween did well at the cinema: Critics certainly hated it. Then again that isn't the last time that a film made money, critics hated it, and it now has a sequel in the works. It's not the first time something like that has happened: No names mentioned...

So what I have got so far is this trailer:

So what this looks like is every single slasher flick put together. Along with the non nonsensical things like relatives of Mike Myers which ruined the last series. Sure it looks creepy, but then again it wouldn't be doing its job as a fucking trailer if it didn't! When I first heard that Rob was going to make it "more realistic" and for most of the time it was going to focus on characterisation (like 5 minutes ago). I felt that maybe this would bring something new to the table. What is clear is that NOTHING new is being brought to the table and that Rob Zombie hasn't changed at all. If anything he's got stale and worse. How many slasher films does this look like? Yeah just about ALL of them.

Well I'm glad Rob has made his overglorified fan films, because he can now sit down with a few friends, break open some beers and popcorn and watch the film while he spurts anecdotes about certain scenes, because no -one else will give a shit about them.

So I wonder if there's anything for me to salvage from this junk heap of a film?

Well no...nothing so far. I'm giving this one a miss...

Could this be THE greatest movie EVER?

2009-06-16T01:13:00.000+01:00

HOLY FUCKING SHIT:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

2009-06-15T00:27:00.009+01:00

Ok so I haven't been keeping up with the latest on this reboot reimaging shitty thing. So you may ask, has my thoughts changed on this reimaging? Well yes, and it isn't for the better.

When I first heard about this Billy-Bob Thornton was up for the role. Now it seems that things have changed. First of all; the director is a music video director; why put such an important film in the genre to such an unworthy director? Was it because he was cheap? Or was it because you wanted Nightmare on Elm Street to look like an MTV music video? Seriously what were they thinking?

Inexperienced: Samuel Bayer

Secondly this film is again produced by Michael Bay. Why trust all these horror franchises to Michael Bay?! Why remake them? Ok Amityville Horror was actually a good remake, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was actually quite good too, and yeah Friday the 13th was better that a ton of the sequels, and I liked this Jason the best out of the previous incarnations of Jason. So I guess I could enjoy this flick.

Everyone loves to hate: Michael Bay

Scum

I suppose this could end up better than Nightmares 2 through 6, but probably not as good as New Nightmare, and of course NOTHING can beat the classic original Nightmare film. I'd be surprised if this film makes me think twice about sleeping.

So what's the good? Well the actor who plays Freddy looks like he could play a pretty creepy Freddy, I can't wait for the new make-up effects, apparently you can now see bones from where the flesh has completely burned through. The actor isn't too bad, but I'd say it's a step down from Billy-Bob. I guess I'll have to see his performance, but according to early script reviews there are NO "This is God" moments: These are the moments that worked so well in the original, this is what made Freddy so scary and menacing. On the other hand I've heard they've narrowed now the wisecracks to about two in the whole film, and apparently it's written to be more like the original Freddy. Another thing that caught my eye from early script reviews is that Freddy is back as a child molester, apparently raping Nancy as a 13 year old with a garden utensil, now if that's in the script: THAT's FUCKED UP.

Fucking Creepy: Jackie Earle Haley is the new man of your dreams.

Ok so Freddy doesn’t sound too bad: It might even paint him in a darker light, but I think I’ll have to see clips of the film, if not see the film to pass judgment.

Ok so now the stuff I’m not so keen on. Apparently this film starts with a teen party. The trouble is that EVERY FUCKING SLASHER FLICK HAS A TEEN PARTY!! Can’t they fucking break the mould and start with a really creepy beginning like the original had. Something that sucks you in like that odd and bizarre moment? This beginning is completely unoriginal and just popcorn junk.

The next is that all the characters are stereotypes, now It the original you did have stereotypes, but some were less subtle. Most of them were just ordinary teenagers trying to live out their every day lives. Now I don’t mind Nancy being a Goth chick, seriously, I really have nothing against Goth chicks, it kinda makes Nancy stand out more (despite being an intellectual smack in the face). I’m fine with that. It’s the fact that every one of her friends are stereotypes instead of having some true identity and personality traits, it looks like it’s all going to be done through characterisation, but through more visual imagery.

The next is something I’m battling between “is that god or bad?” some deaths and attacks are retained, but some have been changed, I know for some weird unexplained reason all her friends have had a name change, and now one of the most iconic kills in the film has been changed: Apparently the guy playing the glen type character gets killed by having poisonous spiders poured over him and he’s bitten/eaten to death. This isn’t as awesome or as iconic as the sequence when Glen gets pulled into the bed and fountains of blood just gush out of the hole in the bed, why change one of the best sequences in the original film? I mean they’ve kept the ceiling death, and the attack in the bathtub; why not keep the blood geyser?

So I suppose I should shorten and summarise what I think of the new Nightmare film so far? Well I can be honest to say that it will be better than Nightmare’s 2 through 6. Hey it may even surpass number 7 into becoming my second fav Nightmare film. There’s no way in hell you can get worse (actually there is: see Camp Blood for Details) than Freddy’s Dead: the Final Nightmare, and the character of Freddy seems to be a lot better than it was done in Nightmare’s 3 through to 6. BUT this said still doesn’t mean this piece of shit will even hold a candle to the first film. I’d be surprised if it made any new ground, and made this new series of Nightmare films worth seeing.

PS: Where is Nancy's Dad in all of this?

Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles Eyes-On review

2009-06-10T18:19:00.003+01:00

Hello, another update. With the E3 footage of Darkside Chronicles in place I thought I'd give my initial impressions of the game.

Visually this along with Dead Space Extradition has to be one of the most beautiful games visually for the Wii. This is the standard in which all vidogames made for the Wii should strive for. The detail is amazing for a console that is basically an X-Box with motion controls.

Gameplay wise it seems pretty similar to the Umbrella Chronicles, but with a few differences which I think are required. First of all I feel that the second player on screen during single player play is a great help, I think that this addition alone has made the game feel like you always have a second player. With Umbrella Chronicles I always felt that when you had two players you didn't feel that you had a partner, now I feel this not only ads logical sense but it adds not only to the atmosphere but also to the gameplay. The only thing I have against it is that the AI always seems to run into trouble rather that judging the situation properly, hopefully this AI character wont share a lifebar. The dramatic camera builds a better atmosphere because you have no control over it most of the time; I feel that this could come to a frustrating disadvantage through when it comes to finding hidden ammo and items.

As far as the sound design goes I feel that the voice acting is top notch, and Steve isn't as whiney, I did catch a glimpse of Alfred Ashford and Alexia, and I hope to FUCK that they give them decent voices, oh please may they have decent voices.

All in all this game doesn't seem to bad for what it is, but what it is is another on rails shooter, and I'm not a fan of those, it just seems like FPS for fucktards, or those with not much time on their hands, which works well in arcades, but not if you want a game with a lot of levels to complete. This game I'd say is definitely worth checking out if you want to play a mature game on the Wii, but if you don't like on rails, this game wont change you mind about how retarded they are.

Metal Gear Solid: two new games!

2009-06-10T13:32:00.006+01:00

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker has been announced as the sequel to Metal gear Solid 4. Unlike the PSP title Metal Gear Solid: Rising this title is written and directed by Hideo Kojima himself. Not much is known about this new game except that the game is in 1979 and there are 4 big bosses, I am truly, truly confused. The graphics look on par with MGS2, but not as great as MGS3. I'm not too sure if this will be a great prequel, but I’ll keep on looking out for a proper game, like Metal gear Solid 5.

On the other hand another game which isn't directed or written or produced by Kojima called Metal gear Solid: Rising will be coming for net generation consoles. It features Raiden as the main character. It is not known if it is a prequel or sequel to MGS4. My only guess is that it is a prequel because of the definitive ending of MGS4, also the fact that it shows Raiden in his Ninja gear only adds to the fact that it will be a prequel.

Here are the trailers for both:

Video Games | Metal Gear Solid: Rising | E3 09: Debut Teaser

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Video Games | MGS: Peace Walker | E3 09: Debut Trailer

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Silent Hill Shattered Memories: Eyes on review

2009-06-10T12:22:00.005+01:00

Well I thought I'd give my initial thoughts on Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. When the game started up I really thought this game was going to be lame. Things were slow, and things just weren't scary. The atmosphere was relaxed, and I wish I had felt some sense of panic; Harry Mason just really didn't seem that frantic about finding his daughter. The puzzles seemed quite good, it seemed like they were very grounded in reality, it didn't seem that the felt forced.
However when the icy otherworld came into focus the uneasiness slowly trickled in. At first I didn't feel much tension, how can you when the game has treated you so well? However as soon as the enemies poured in and attacked me I felt extremely panicked. The game suddenly started to win me over. It isn't really a feeling I've felt too strongly in previous instalments (especially the later instalments), which may or may not be a good thing. From what I've played I'm really not sure if this feeling will last and bring on the feeling of wondering what is around the next corner I'm on a balance beam on that one.

On the note of sound and visuals, the score is of course well written, and I wasn't sure if the first part of the game was to welcome me home, or if it was to make me feel relaxed, but if that's the case: it did it's job. The voice acting is terrible, it's maybe just above the horrid dull voice acting of Silent Hill 2: I just don't see why it's so hard to find decent voice actors now-a-days? But like Silent hill 2: It is something I can forgive, just as long as the rest of the sound design doesn't epically fail as its job.

The visuals are not the best visuals ever to be released on this console, but some effects such as lighting and ice has impressed. I'm not too impressed so far about the lack of fog, but I'm getting used to darkness replacing it. From what I played the whole town is rendered completely off that bat. From the detail it is rendered in it's an amazing achievement.

All in all I can say I'm on the fence on this one: On the whole some stuff seems quite far and alien from the franchise, but I look forward to playing the thing in Autumn 2009.

Terminator Salvation

2009-06-08T09:40:00.008+01:00

Well this review I'm going to separate into "What impressed me" and "What certainly did not"

WHAT WAS IMPRESSIVE:

The Landscape and Atmosphere:

In previous Terminator films we have only had brief (yet awesome, bar T3) glimpses of the post-nuclear war. This time we see things in 2018 in the daylight. Everything is just awesome, the look is just perfect, if there is one thing McG is good at, it's that he has great team of concept artists, his vision of post-nuclear landscape was just brilliant. I can imagine the land become more and more like the war we see in T1 and 2 in sequels.

The Special Effects:

For the first time CGI was used properly, and the physical props were great: The machines looked like they had been through war, they weren't shiny like in previous instalments, it looked like these machines had seen war. The renditioning of the original T-800 101 model was just awesome to see, and for the first time the CG T-800 felt organic, unlike the horrid CGI T-850's in T3.

The Terminator Designs:

I loved the design of the T-600, 700 and of course the 800 series, the HK's as well as the concept of Marcus Wright, even the glimpse at the psychotic shot circuit’s from T3 made me smile slightly. These were all awesome designs: I've always wondered what the T-600s looked like, all these designs exceeded my expectations.

The Script:

Ok now on paper this script wasn't as bad as it could have been: The was at least no cheap jokes like Arnie putting on the Elton John glasses, I enjoyed the general storyline. It wasn't a bad storyline. It's a welcome addition to the backstory of the future war. There were some nice references to Kyle's speach to Sarah in T1, and it didn't utterly dissapoint. I do have some complaints, but that will wait until I get to part 2.

The Character of Marcus Wright:

If there was anything salvageable about the characterisation it was the character of Marcus Wright: he at least had some qualities that you gave a shit about, and at least you were interested in him. This Terminator I was impressed with, and it was interesting that he was a proto-type for the T-800's, and it didn't seem forced, it seemed logical what the machines would do, and the experimentation continued on humans that were captured.

Small Nods to the Fans:

There were little nods here and there that I thought were quite cool, and imaginative, one such thing comes at the end when John Connor gets his scar on his eye: I felt it was an imaginative touch, and something I wasn't expecting.

The End Fight Scene:

Despite lacking suspense, the fight was pretty cool I can't deny that. There was one suspenseful part that came with the fight, and I thought it was executed well. Bravo.

Ok now we move on to

PARTS THAT WERE REALLY REALLY CRAP:

The Terminator Designs:

Despite having some awesome Terminator Designs I felt there were some Terminator Designs which made me angry: The first were those motorcycle Terminators. They lacked so much imagination it was unreal, the whole chase scene with tehm in angered me beyond the point of enjoying any scene that they were seen in. McG you suck for choosing this concept design.
Another design that I was disappointed in was the harvesters. The harvesters are part of the mytho, and I'm not saying that they shouldn’t have been in the film; but the design of the harvester's just lacked imagination, it felt like it was a rejected decepticon design. It just made my heart fall heavy.

The Script:

Ok despite the script on paper being ok, did anyone test this out by reading it out loud? The dialogue wasn't god damn awful, but it certainly wasn't organic, or thought provoking in any sense of the matter. The story was so unintelligent, but to be honest what action film is now-a-days? The action scenes for most part was utterly predictable, and despite trying to make this part of the Terminator trilogy there were too many action scenes, and ones which just felt too safe. I never for a moment felt like the characters were in danger. take the car chase in The Terminator: The chase didn't seem too scripted, you were kept on your toes the whole time, and you felt that Kyle and Sarah were in danger the whole time: This time you didn't feel any real danger. Another factor for me was the child safe lack of blood. Forgive me for looking back of the history of 12-As but isn't a 12-A allowed to be like a 15: It just warns parents that this shouldn't be suitable for those below 12? Therefore shouldn’t at least a bit of gore be allowed? Even T3 had a guy with an arm through his chest! I'm not complaining about the lack of swearing, but with the blood and gore combined with action sequences that had the PS3 in mind I really can't say much.
The script should have been re-written to have more organic dialogue, better characterisation and fewer, but better crafted action sequences, and at least some sort of violence which had an impact. Like it's T3 this had the spit shine of Hollywood all over it (not to say that Terminator isn't a Hollywood movie franchise).

The Characters:

The Characterisation in this script was awful, I didn't give a shit about any of the characters, there was nothing to make me give a shit about. The only characters I felt slight connection to was the young Kyle Reece and Marcus Wright. John Connor was bordering on Keanu Reeves, and everyone else was just a 2D character.

The Acting:

Ok we have some good actors here, but none of them seemed to be putting any effort into things. Yet again the only actors that seemed to be doing their job was Sam Worthington and Anton Yelchin. Everyone else seemed pretty stock and didn't evoke any connection with you. Despite all my other complaints this was the largest disappointment.

The Music Score

Like most of the storyline and characters, I couldn't give a crap about the music score. The music was average at best, and didn't really contain the original theme tune. It would have been great to get some 80s synth or a remix of the music used in the future scenes of The Terminator. You know the fast paced synth? That would have been awesome. Instead we get very little, and very drab sound design. Something passable, but nothing that gives this movie individuality, or even anything similar with the original two. I really felt that I could add at least another half a star to this film if there was a strong soundtrack, the only good part was the fact that john Connor still listens to the same music as he di when he was a kid; that made me smile.

ALL IN ALL

Ok so Terminator Salvation was better than I thought it was going to be, it's certainly surpassed T3, but it fell nowhere near the great T1 and T2; which stand out fine on their own. But thinking about it: Nothing can, no matter how anyone could try you can't reach that standard again, it may not even be possible with James Cameron taking the reigns again. T1 and T2 are unbeatable, I'm not sure if comparing this film to T1 and 2 is fair, how can you reach perfection again? Then again I do think it is fair to criticise this movie, it could have been so much better, but I feel that I still welcome it as an addition to the series. I don't think it's as bad as Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I'd certainly swap T3 with T4 as a third movie if I had the chance.

On one last final final note (seriously) I know A T5 will be on it's way. I really hope that James Cameron can have some sort of creative input, like be the casting director, or the script writer, or even produce the movie, or if God exists: Direct the next film, take some creative control. His baby needs him, and if T5 wants to win some disillusioned fans and critics the Terminator series needs Jim more than any other film right now. Just someone who can have some control, can tell people where they are going wrong, bring some human drama, some thought evoking philosophy, and some heart stopping action. Maybe then T5 wont just be another possible 3.5 star film only slightly surpassing the last by half a point. I have accepted the inevitable: A storm is coming. Let's hope it's one we can really enjoy.

This film is Terminated with three battered severed T-800 skulls out of 5 shiny ones.

Ghostbusters III (updated)

2009-05-20T13:48:00.002+01:00

That's right. Ghostbusters 3 THE MOVIE is happening: According to Yahoo News, Acroyd has confirmed that despite the fact the film "could blow up at any moment" the entire cast (including the missing Sigourney Weaver in the game) will reprise their roles. This time to pass on the torch to an entirely female crew.

I'm not being sexist, I'm infact for some female ghostbusters, but isn't it being entirely sexist to just have a female crew? It just sucks money bollocks. I can so tell this film will be just another Crystal Skull and I'll have to pretend it doesn't exist. I thought it was a cool idea to have a game to be the sequel to Ghostbuster II but now they are adding Ghostbuster's III will this ignore the story of the game? Will it tie in? What happens to teh new recruit? What the hell is going on?!

Anyway this is very sad news indeed. I've been wanting GB3 for years, but I really wanted it in 1995, not 2012. It's been too long, and we shouyld let the golden franchise rest in peace, and if it must live gain, do it through games, not through teh big screen.

Darkside Chronicles: Spoilers, Spoilers, Spoilers

2009-05-15T12:25:00.002+01:00

So if you don't want to see this, then don't read this? Scroll down (or up) to another article. As little are aware the Darkside Chronicles scenario list was leaked. So I'm not sure if Capcom will change anything, but it seems that Darkside Chronicles will actually be a unique flick this time round, unfortunately for those expecting a fun day out let me tell you that from official blogs and scenario chapters this game will not be a fun walk in the park.

First of all this game will be heavily dialogue and story driven with new and interesting never seen before gameplay taking a back-seat. Which if you were after a videogame you may be dissapointed.
This game will explore many things surrounding Leon, Claire Ada Wong and Sherry Birkin. Mainly the psyche that drives them to do what they do. This will explore the characters feelings and motivations driven by the dialogue spurted from them during gameplay. It will also explore how rookie cop Leon decides to become a US government agent; rather than take the paths that Claire, Ada, or Sherry takes, including a scenario on which you work alongside Jack Krauser in South America.
The game has one more ace up it's sleeve and that is a girl that we have all been wondering where she is and what she is doing, in Darkside Chronicles we will have a final chapter with Sherry Birkin as the only playable character: It's also set after Resident Evil 5: In fact it's the only chapter to be set AFTER the events of Resident Evil 5. So, what is Sherry up to, and why is she fighting bioweapons? What did Wesker do to her, and why, what's her psychological state? Well all will be revealed in Darkside Chronicles.

Other scenarios include Rockfort Island and Antarctica. On of the largest surprises is that are also scenarios involving Jill and Chris Redfiled which lead up to the events of Jill's apparent death in 2006. From Resident Evil 5 I thought that Chris and Jill were on a pretty standard mission without Zombies to take care of? This scenario (if kept by Capcom after the leaked details) is the most worrying: Why ruin a moment in Jill and Chris's life that doesn't include Bio-hazardous freaks of nature?

Anyway lets move onto the gameplay. The game hasn't changed too much since Umbrella Chronicles, however there are a few minor tweaks which actually add to making this a horror game rather than a straight forward action FPS:

1) You will have no control over the camera: This will not only allow for realistic head movement, but also restrict what you can see, making it more like a classic restricted camera feel, rather than knowing exactly where things are.

2) Environments are much creepier. Despite some elements of Umbrella Chronicles having some classic areas, most of it wasn’t too creepy. From the trailer we can already see a blood smeared hallway of the RPD. This gives me hope that the visuals of the environment will aid in a spooky experience.

3) You only have a limited time to eliminate zombies: Rather than having enough time to pop all the zombies on screen you will have a smaller time to attack, which means it ads not only a sense of panic, but also means as you walk by you are susceptible to being grabbed by any you didn't take out.

There are also other tweaks which I applaud.

1) A new dodge system. This will enable (for the first time in an on-rails shooter) for the player to dodge an enemy at any point when they attack, which means that the camera isn't completely scripted. This is welcomed, because I’m guessing that you will need to master how to dodge in order not to die

2) An inventory is available: Yes not only can you switch between guns, but also health items too. Not only will the character be able to use first aid sprays, but they will also be able to use green herbs and mixed herbs without the item just being used as a continue.

3) Easier headshots: Oh thank GOD Capcom have at least made it easier to get a headshot. This is probably the largest complaint from any person who owns Umbrella Chronicles. It was a fucking mission to get that pixel sized sweet spot. This time if you shoot a zombie in the brain, it should be easier to blow it's head off. Lets just hope it works with shotguns and more powerful weapons too- I want to see limbs flying when I hit a zombie with a grenade!!!

4) Ageing characters: Aparently according to information gathered on the official blog. Not only does Leon look younger in the RE2 sections, but tehy got Paul to make Leon sound squeaker, this means Leon's voice will change and get deeper as he gets older, and I asume: So will Leon's face. The scenarios for Leon do expand all the way to 2002, so I'm guessing there will be a change in character model to age himecloser to what he is in 2004. This princpele we (hopefully) will see in all our characters including Chris (1998 - 2003 model to the 2006 model shown in RE5), we'll also see Jill with a ponytail! I love the attention to detail Capcom are giving the characters in this game, it will ad a LOT more depth.

Anyway if you were damaged by any way by reading this. I DID WARN YOU ABOUT THE SPOILERS CONTAINED WITHIN.

Terminator Salvation 4 minute Trailer

2009-05-08T14:55:00.002+01:00

Well I have to admit it does look better than the third. Then again, that isn't saying much all T3 was was an actionfest with no soul, although admittedly I liked the ending.

Anyway Bale looks good to be John Connor, and as long as the ending has changed since the ending was leaked I'm cool with that. It's also awesome that they are having Schwarzenegger from the original digitally imposed into the film.
However the rest of the film could quite possibly end up a complete mess. The action just looks like the usual Terminator formula. However this film has is in my "must see" pile, but like Wolverine; I'm not sure if this quite lands in the "must see at the cinema"

Butch Cassidy Remake - Starring Tom Cruise and John Travolta?

2009-05-05T11:25:00.004+01:00

NO! NOO! It's just WRONG. NO!

I can't fucking believe it, Hollywood finally did it, the line if far behind them, I think I snapped a while ago, but this has finally had the soul crushing power to finally break me into shattered pieces of what was left of a good human being. (I don't suppose anyone has heard of a supervillian who turned to a life of crime, murder and terrorism because of shitty hollywood remakes?)

BUT I don’t think it's because Hollywood are remaking Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; NO, they are doing it with two of the most unlikely fucking people who can't even hold a candle to the original cast: According to Entertainment and Showbiz dot com John Travolta and Tom Cruise are to play the lead roles.

I've read rumours that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were to play the roles, still very unwelcome.

What I want to know is how much the church are paying to get Tom and John the leading roles. Tom hasn't had a decent film since the original Mission Impossible (which despite people joking about Tom Cruise and Mission Impossible 2 and 3, I thought the 1st was quite a decent flick.) John Travolta hasn't had a decent role since Pulp Fiction.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid shouldn't be touched. If any of these so called "professional" actors had any sense or any soul left they'd have the decency to stick their fingers up at the producers telling them they should leave classic films alone.

As a legal notice so these actor's lawyers or Scientology doesn't sue me: I'm sure Afleck, Matt, John and Tom are really nice people, but they must have really lost their professionalism if they are really considering even joining such a project. Also this article is based on personal opinion, so don't sue me for libel either.

Racism Pandemic Iminent

2009-05-01T11:14:00.003+01:00

The outbreak of racism has swept the Mexican nation, and is thought to kill many people worldwide. Yet the virus known as "Swine Flu" has only killed Mexicans. Why even the poor little boy in the USA was Mexican and from Mexico. The other confirmed cases of this virus has left people extremely ill, but not dead. What can we learn from this? That the virus itself is indeed racist.

I had a chance to interview the virus today and it had this statement:

"I am not a racist, and never have been, my fascination with killing Mexicans is an entire coincidence, hey I even voited for Obama!"

The virus dressed as Father Ted Crilley gives a speach on racism

.....

OK, so the first part of this blog was entirely made up, and was used as a form of satire. However this swine flu is all a bit ridiculous isn't it?

My hearts go out to the people who have died so far due to the virus, biut this flu doesn't seem too bad. Seasonal Flu seems to kill off over 30, 000 people in the states alone each year. This strain is no more of a killer than it's cousin. The only trouble is that this virus we have no immunity against, and the fact that it spreads quicker via animals such as pigs and birds makes it easier to transmit.

Ok, everyone is scared about catching a virus that is so widespread across the media, that the news seem to build this up as some apocalyptic virus that will kill off the entire human race in just a month.
Just yesterday a friend in London reported the London Paper to claim that over 49, 000 people may die, JUST IN LONDON.
This is enough to send even medical scientists into a panicked stupor. However statistically, that isn't too bad. The worse case scenario predicted is that 2% of people will die worldwide. However that still means that YOU could be one of the 2%, that means people will be checking how many facebook friends they have, and calculating who is the most likely to kick it, and if that person could be them.

Let me also remind you that the most at risk are generally people who are relatively weak as far as health goes, those with lung problems such as asthma, heart conditions, or conditions such as Diabetes and AIDS, or those particularly under the age of 2 years old.

I'm not saying these people deserve to die, I'm just stating the cold fact that if you fall into those categories you are within the at risk zone.

I woke up today with a bit of a sniffle, but that could mean many things:

- Seasonal Flu
- Summer Cold
- Hayfever
- Too much dairy in my diet.

Does that mean people should suddenly panic, and prepare to start burning my body? Absolutely not.

So what have we learned today?

1) The media are asshats who have been told by the government to spread this as much as possible in order to take everyone's minds off the recession and to get people to panic-buy Tamiflu in order to boost the economy, and more important issues like the decline of actual news, such as government scandals, and genocides by evil dictators, and men boxing kangaroos out of their homes...

2) The corrupt pharmaceutical companies are LOVING it at the moment "no cure for the common cold" MY ARSE!

3) If a lot of people die, it's still within normal pandemic predictions, it isn't the end of the world, but it's still horrible that nice people are dying.

3) Don't panic, it's just flu...oh, and remember...don't have nightmares!

Dead Rising 2 (update)

2009-04-29T01:22:00.000+01:00

Wow, just wow. At first I just saw Dead Rsing 2 as 'just an average sequel'

You know those kind of sequel? The ones where the gameplay stays the same, and the locations just change.

THIS game seems to be THE most fun Zombie related game since House of the Dead: Overkill. I mean wow, just WOW. Being able to tape weapons together just seems amazing, combining them with vehicles is just the most awesome, most fun thing a zombie game can provide. Capcom have exceeded themselves on this one. This is a brilliant hack em' up game, probably the best I've seen. Lets just hope they can throw in a female character, or maybe 4 or 5 characters to chose to play online multiplayer. We need defianately need some sexual and racial diversity here. For a game that seems pretty sandbox (hopefully, oh please may it be sandbox), I'd like a sandbox choice of what charatcer I play.

Anyway my impressions are far higher than that piece of shit Chop till you Drop, which may I remind you WOULD HAVE WORKED if they didn't butcher it so they could have the gimicks they provided. They should have built the gameplay system from the ground up, instead of dealing with one that was adapted from the gamecube.

Anyway, enough ranting, it's a definately must buy, it's going to take A LOT to change my mind for this one.

Darkside Chronicles (update)

2009-04-28T18:21:00.004+01:00

Well now we have a gameplay trailer. Let me tell you that despite me regretting buying the Umbrella Chronicles for various reasons, I'm quite pleasantly surprised by this one. Will this be the only decent Resident Evil FPS?

Yes I know, once again it's on rails, but the mood set in the trailer is very creepy, there isn't to much of a musical score, which to me brings in more of the atmosphere. The graphics are vastly improved compared to the last 'Chronicle' game, I'm happy to see that they have put at least some effort into building up the RPD from scratch, and using some brand new zombie models. The RPD now looks like a bloody mess similar to scenes out of Dead Space or a modern day splatter movie.
I'm glad to see Leon and Claire working together, and I'm glad to see a fully remade Mr-X, G-Baby, G-Birkin and Lickers, as well as the giant alligator and spiders to add to the list of creatures that you'll meet during the game.

My largest beef with Umbrella Chronicles was the piss poor dialogue and mediocre to terrible voice acting. This is the largest improvement over this version. Voices sound credible, and the dialogue seems more natural, although Ada seems to be the same emotionless Keanu Reeves character like before, I don't suppose that could at least act like a lost civillian? Oh wait that BODY HOLSTER kinda gives you away....

However I do have beef with some aspects. During previous screenshots it seems they have already made Leon a bad-ass before he becomes one, although I'm pleased to know that they have still kept Leon a rookie cop. Also what the hell is up with the Licker hallway? Why is their DAYLIGHT flooding through the windows?! This is supposed to be Raccoon City at night time, not the day time. If they were outside lights they would be at least a colder colour tempreture. So what gives?

Anyway here's the gameplay footage courtesy of Computer and Videogames dot com

Stephen King's IT

2009-04-25T18:47:00.002+01:00

On March 22nd Stephen King's IT was announced a remake by Warner Bros, rated 18 (R). The only Beef I have with this is:

1) It's set in 2008 and 1985 instead of the 1985's and 1950s. Which makes the themes set in the novel completely obsolete. It would have been much better if you kept to the novel, instead of fucking up the timeline, it would be a stronger piece.

2) The film will only be 2 hours long. What are they thinking?! Stephen King's IT should have a 3 hour minimum tag on it, or maybe a 4 or 5 hour mini-series. There is no way you can do a faithful adaptation within 2 hours. The last one was less than spectacular when it came to accuracy to the novel, and that was 3 hours. Imagine is Warner Bros made this a 4 or 5 part mini-series/DVD-Bluray box-set?

3) I think I could do better. Not to sound like I'm bosting, but I have a 4 or 5 hour script adaptation ready to go which I swear to GOD is probably better than the 2 piece of shit their cooking up... Sorry for bragging, but I feel very protective when it comes to faithfull novel adaptations.

However despite the old film scaring the shit out of me when I was a kid, I can see now that the acting was sub-par, and the general fear factor has subsided. Stephen King's IT is definately in need of a good treatment!

Darkside Chronicles (update)

2009-04-22T14:22:00.002+01:00

Well I know that this is old news, but I'm slowly trying to update this site one topic at a time. It seems that the following info has come out about the levels:

- Resident Evil 2 (Characters Leon and Claire)

- Resident Evil Code: Veronica (Characters Claire and Steve)

- NEW Level: South America (Characters Leon)

It will also be the first time Claire has worked alongside Ada!

Hello All

2009-04-21T13:18:00.002+01:00

Hello everyone. As you have noticed my posts have become less frequent. It doesn't mean I've lost interest in keeping this site up and running. It just means due to a mix of technical issues and issues beyond my control. I have not been able to keep this updated how I should.

I'm sorry to those who like reading my blogs from time to time. I hope it keeps them informed and amused. I would like to reassure people I know what's going on in the world of videogames and movies, I know all about the Ghostbusters game, Dead Rising 2, Bioshock 2, Silent Hill, and Resident Evil etc. Yes, I'm also disappointed in the lack of decent content in the cinema, but I'm busy trying to keep everything else in order. I'm sure any readers didn't miss me too much (if any lol). If I knew I had more (I get mesaged time to time from people) of a fanbase I'd probably put my blogs up as a higher priority, but putting time and effort into something which I don't know is reaching out anywhere, while I need to make money elsewhere means taht both websites are in dire need of being kept up to date. I will keep this place running, and maybe I'll update every day like when I started, but until my higher priorities in life become lower on my list, First Impressions will be birthed with a new life :)

Peace out people of the internets!

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

2009-04-20T18:18:00.000+01:00

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is the reimaging of the Original Silent Hill. The base story stays the same: Harry's Car crashes, he loses his daughter and sets out into the town of Silent Hill. However the rest of the story is a completely original game. The game is set in the 2000's not in the 60s/70s. The game begins after the events where Harry is having psychological counciling. The scene cuts to Harry in his crashed car, in which he wonders into Silent Hill. He has a drink at the bar where he is startled to notice that his drivers licence says he's from the town. He asks the barmaid if she has seen his daughter, but she hasn't. He dials 911 on his cellphone but the operator can't hear him, even with full signal on his phone...Then things get weird, and the town slowly starts to change...

The gameplay is simple. The whole town including all buildings are already rendered, which means there are NO load times, you can pop in and out of the buildings live. Which means enemies will follow you: Try and jump the fence? You can but your enemies will either jump it too or will drag you by your ankle back into the hellish nightmare. In which you will notice then next thing: There's no combat system!
The only thing you have at your defence will be flares which you can store, which will momentarily ward off attackers, but not for long. No weapons, no hand to hand combat, it's the matter of run or die.
Harry does however have a cellphone in which he can make calls, send and receive txts, listen to voicemail, as well as load and save his game. Harry will also be able to take pictures.
This Silent Hill has also done away with going up to an object and pressing a button to find out if the object is useless or not the character will have to interact themselves with the environment, the camera comes in handy too, taking photos can reveal information about Silent Hill's past, instead of having to read diary's left by people. If something nasty happened in a room, take a picture and find out. If someone went crazy they'd scrawl it on the wall, take a picture and read it for later. Voicemail calls and txts will also reveal stuff, apparently demons and ghosts have the ability to leave a voicemail.
The static is back, and it comes from your cellphone, and out of the wiiremote speaker, as well as voicemail and calls made by other characters such as Cybil.
Once more your cellphone does not pause the action, so you can be attacked while using it, so be careful.
The main addition to this game is that you have a flashlight at your disposal, in which your wiimote will act as the torch, your nunchuck's analogue stick will move your character. Z runs, C does a 180 turn, and the A and B buttons work the Cellphone. Mentioned before your wiiremote is used to interacting with objects too, and solving puzzles.

However the most brilliant thing about the gameplay is yet to be revealed. The game watches you, and how you act in situations, this will change how enemies look, how enemies behave, how main characters behave towards you, and the layout and look of the town. Say for example if you decide to look at a playboy magazine instead of checking out the map first. The game would mark that you are not a practical person, and will adjust to make things harder for you, or the enemies may become more female/male in shape. The town reacts to the player's psyche, because the player will effect the character's psyche.

The graphics for this game are of course not as good as the PS3 or 360. However the team behind Origins is working on this one. They plan to make the graphics (for the primary Wii version) "as if they were a SD version of the PS3" the most impressive thing seen are the lighting effects, every snowflake casts a shadow.
The fog of Silent Hill is gone however. The otherworld of Silent Hill is now a snowy icy land using the dark instead of grey fog, shrouding your world in darkness, rather than the memorable grey fog.

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories is primarily a Wii title. However lower graphical versions of it will be out on PSP and PS2. Shattered Memories is out this year.

Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles (new screens)

2009-03-14T19:47:00.003Z

Aside from the new Trailer, take a look at these screenshots. I can't find the website I found them on, but I'll make sure to credit them when I've found out!

Resident Evil 5

2009-03-13T09:24:00.001Z

I got Resident Evil 5 yesterday.... A DAY BEFORE RELEASE!!!

Shame it was the 360 version....Now I have to wait a week or so to get it swapped at play.com.... >_<

Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles

2009-03-11T16:20:00.004Z

Well after a while of "Nintendo Fans Will be very excited" and "We're making a new Resident Evil game exclusive to Wii"

We finally get a glimpse of what the most cynical of us feared. Yes another on-rails shooter. However this time they get to fuck up Resident Evil 2....

You see some fans were disappointed that Resident Evil 2 was not included in Umbrella Chronicles, where people like me were glad after what a god awful job they did with Umbrella Chronicles with the Resident Evil 3 scenarios that they didn't include the best selling Resident Evil game of all time: Resident Evil 2 (well at least not directly, we got a taste of Ada).

To be honest if they don't change the gameplay of Umbrella Chronicles, I can tell this game will be repetitive. The last game wasn't exactly top notch, they replaced most of the mood with action, and changed the plot hideously.

HOWEVER here's a list of things that could make Darkside Chronucles a real winner (even if it is on rails)

- House of the Dead. Ok when we think on rails zombie shooter, what do you think of? House of the Dead. We need zombies that you can actually blow apart and have fun with. If each zombie acts the same, then where's the replability? All we got last time were some heads exploding, and that was, um, that was it. Resident Evil 2 allowed you to at least blow a zombie in half!
We need zombies which you can blow in half, blow arms and legs off, blow guts out, and of course blow heads off.

- Easier head shots. Last time to get a head shot you had to be pin-point accurate to get a critical hit. Whereas in previous installments, destroying the brain would be enough, and I know that any bullet hitting the forehead would pretty much do that to a rotting corpse. I know Capcom wanted to add a bit of skill, but they can still add that, you can still have 'skill based' critical hits, and then just hits which blow their brains out. Getting pinpoint accuracy just took the player away from having fun killing zombies.

Better voice acting - Last time some of teh lines uttered in Umbrella Chronicles was just horid, maybe even as bad as Resident Evil 4! Now that's BAD.

- Not fucking up storyline. Right, I know they have to make most scenarios two player, and thus a need for two characters are needed. However Resident Evil 2 was supposed to follow two seperate storylines, I just know that i'm going to be saddened to see both Leon and Claire fighting at the same time.

More extras. Christ sake, the extras were appauling last time round. Give us a mercinaries mode or something. Like on CV:X we got a FPS mini game.

OK

So I'll keep you guys updated as soon as more stuff comes in about this game, but don't be suprised if it looks, and plays exactly like Umbrella Chronicles....

Boy Killed Anally by Office Chair

2009-02-25T13:12:00.002Z

Ok, this sounds lie some title of some weird snuff fetish porn. But apparently a 14 year old lad in China was anally impaled by an exploding office chair.

The pressurised gas cylinder apparently exploded shooting deadly shrapnel up the poor guy's anus. Causing hm to bleed to death. Sounds like something out of Final Destination doesn't it?

Apparently the freak death was not alone where 3 people have died the same way in China in china since 2008.

While my heart goes out to the kid, and the kid's family, and it must be such a horrid way to go.. I can't help thinking of this as a Monty Python sketch. I mean how bizarrely odd, dark and funny. I can't help the inner child in me wanting to laugh.

I hope no-one is reading this at the office, or I recommend you work with a layer of kevlar between you and your office chair.

...Oh and...One more thing...

2009-02-24T23:21:00.003Z

No I'm not talking about a new Columbo movie. I'm talking about the port of MGS4 for the iTouch/iPhone.

Never in my life would I have thought they would have soiled the name of Solid Snake by porting it on the iPhone!!!

I mean what were they fucking thinking?! First of all the graphics makes the epicness of the PS3 version, just lose all epicness, secondly that adding touch controls will make this one awkward piece of shit to play.

Kojima: Should be ashamed of himself

Now I've not programmed a game as complex as this, in fact I've only programmed in Basic, but what I do is create content, and I know it doesn't take someone with half a brain cell and a knowledge on gaming that this is a bad idea. Why didn't they make a M.G game that would be 100% customized to the platform? Something, I don't know? ORIGINAL?!

They could have called it Metal Gear Fuck Farts for all I care, just as long as it was an original title.

I don't want to swear here, but I'd rather see an announcement that it was going to be ported to the 360, at least that would be a platform more suited to MGS4, Christ on a Bike, fucking hell...

Inglourious Basterds

2009-02-24T11:42:00.004Z

Well I watched the Trailer for Tarantino's version of Inglourious Basterds.

Well my Impressions?

Well the fact that it's just so fucking pro American when the American's helped in the last 2 minutes of the War just pisses me right off. However I feel that this might be a good Tarantino movie. The acting looks solid, and the style is impressive.

I just hope it doesn't end up as another Valkyrie. By which I mean self obsessive and so pro American that youre shitting American flags for 10 days after watching it.

Resident Evil 6

2009-02-24T11:19:00.002Z

Well I was reading the brilliant Keith Stuart's Blog for the Guardian a while ago and I saw an article that said Resident Evil 6 is on it's way and it may be set in London!!

Along with the fact that Masachika Kawata said that Resident Evil 6 will be a turning point on whether Resident Evil turns back to Survival Horror or goes completely into Action Adventure. If it turns to Action Adventure, I'm definately abandoning the series. Resident Evil should be Horror, and Horror only.

I at least am happy with the fact that Kawata admitted that what I pointed out about RE5 was true, but he inteneded it to be a slow evolution, and now I understand that I can move on.

Hopefully Resident Evil 6 will be set in London, and bring back the Horror!!

Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2009/feb/02/gameculture-xbox

Lickers in Resident Evil 5?

2009-02-24T11:12:00.001Z

Well there have been reports with bury Big-Foot type pictures of Lickers in Resident Evil 5. From someone taking a photo of possible Lickers, however these images found on rehorror are questionable at best. I mean who really takes a photo of a magazine? I mean why didn't they scan it in?

I could spend my hard earned cash to buy the magazine and confirm or rip apart any evidence that there Lickers in the game. But I'd rather point out that NO-ONE on the net has bothered to do either. I sthat because the photos rip aprt the theroy of Lickers being in RE5, and fans just want to hold onto a thread of hope that the RE series isn't going down the shitter?

Who knows, but it's interesting!

Appologies

2009-02-24T10:59:00.002Z

Hey guys, it's me. I've been busy recently. There's tones of new stuff to talk and discuss, but as I don't get paid, and I hardly have a viewership here. I don't see the rush. But I feel that I owe any readers what their owed.

Dead Rising 2

2009-02-11T19:15:00.005Z

Sorry for being so late, I was going to post this as soon as I heard the news a few days ago. However some personal problems have affected me, but now I'm back! W00!

So Dead Rising 2 is real, and they say now 10's of thousands of Zombies, and what's even better: It's multi-Platform. So I can fire up my smooth PS3 and play the game. Hopefully this will mean the original Dead Rising will come to PS3 for around £20 - £30 (yeah as If).

From the looks of the screen shots the graphics for something this big, and this sandbox are quite impressive. The use of the dirt bike looks nice, and the expressions on the faces of not only our protagonist but on the zombies themselves look nice.

I'm not sure if it can beat Left4Dead. But to me irt equals it as a game on it's own. Taking the Dawn of the Dead concept really makes these games stand out on their own. I can't wait to have some fun with zombies!

However it isn't like me to have something negative to say, but at the moment it's mainly directed at the fact the first I haven't had a real chance to play. Since i don't own a 360, and the controller gives me cramp. I'll have to wait and watch a full res trailer or play a demo to give further impressions. But so far so good!

Picture courtesy of kotaku.com

(http://kotaku.com/5149650/dead-rising-2-its-real-and-its-spectacular)

Dead Rising 2

2009-02-07T23:36:00.001Z

Well a trailer filmed from whjat seems liek an avid suite has been leaked, but I'm way too tired to comment yet, please hold for further commentary!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d87f8pqEsU8

Friday 13th (and other reboots)

2009-02-06T10:46:00.005Z

Ok, for some reason I'm excited by both Friday 13th reboot and the Nightmare on Elm St reboot. Even though neither have much to do with the original. Why?

Well I'm not really a fan of Friday 13th after the 3rd one, and I'm only a fan of Nightmare on Elm Street and Wes Craven's New Nightmare. I mean 3 was fun to watch, but the others were god awful.

Friday 13th is produced by Michael Bay, no I know what you're all thinking, because it's what i'm thinking. BUT he did produce the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and to be honest I enjoyed the remake. Although I'm not a fan of slashers because 99% of them are lame and funny at times when they're meant to be scary. I still sometimes switch my brain to mindless and enjoy what's presented in front of me.
For me the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre wasn't a masterpiece, but it went further in depth into the villain, and brought us a decent remake or reimaging or reboot.

This is what gives me hope for Friday 13th.

From the trailer this does sound just like a mindless teen slasher flick. However that's what the originals were; mindless slashers, for those wanting people be killed in imaginative ways. This rolls the first three movies into one, and even gives more depth to Jason "making him a cross between John Rambo Tarzan and the Abominable Snowman from Looney Tunes.

Jason from the 2009: Friday the 13th

I think the modern (aka 30s to mid 90's) horror films things were very black and white. The Bad guy was the bad guy, the good guy was the good guy and the damsel in distress was innocent and helpless. Now with postmodern horror. The bad guy is the good guy, the good guy is the bad guy, and the damsel in distress can be either gender and usually ends up saving the day.
I believe this is what they are doing with the reboot, and I welcome it.

In the 70s and 80s one successful cult film, spawned around 8 children. This happened with both Friday 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street. (FT13th spawned more than 10 movies). This is what's wrong with these icons, after the 3rd ones they become tired boring clichéd, and laughable. You just see the same old movie with different actors, settings and deaths. Usually you get two great movies, an okay movie and the rest can go to hell.

This is why we need a postmodern reboot. It means fans of the old series can choose what universe to follow: The old series with one or two great movies, or the new series: Not as much impact, but 10x better than most of the sequels put together.

I'm very much looking forward to seeing the reboot of this film despite my hatred of reboots, remakes and reimagings of classic films, oh and my dislike for Michael Bay.

Another film I'm intrigued by is the reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street:

Most people reading this would check my temperature to make sure I’m not feverish. However I applaud the people rebooting the series. I have some arguments in their favour:

A Nightmare on Elm Street was a classic modern horror. The bad guy was evil, and the protagonist was sweet and innocent. It was originally meant to be a one off film, the ending was supposed to be Nancy waking up, and the whole film was a nightmare. Thus A NIGHTMARE on Elm Street. However the studios wanted to milk this horror dry and forced Wes Craven to do the one thing in the film in which I thought was the most stupid thing ever in film endings; and that was to put in a “twist” ending in where Nancy has another nightmare and Freddy kills her and everyone (or at least you assume until the 3rd movie).

After this the series went downhill until Freddy went from a scary silent killer to an unfunny stand-up act. It was just cringable watching someone who’s supposed to be as scary and as evil as fucking child molester killer, to someone who cracks jokes, and rides a skateboard. Yeah it sucks…

Things only improved again when Wes Craven came back and did the 7th Freddy Film with his original idea for the sequel to the original: Wes Craven’s New Nightmare. Then came Freddy vs Jason, which the less we say about Freddy in that movie the better.

So to be honest if the reboot can make Freddy into a silent killer who hardly speaks, and when he does (“No, this is God”) it impacts on you, and is said with dark venom.

Which brings me to another thing which fans are writing hate mail to New Line about: NO ROBERT ENGLUND!!!!

Robert "Freddy" Englund waves us goodbye Freddy style

Well to be honest Robert Englund is the kind of actor which needs pushing to get a good performance out of. What I mean by this is that his performances are always better than average, but to be honest since apart from the 1st and 7th when have you really seen a good Freddy performance from Englund? The answer is never. He just does the basic stuff to get by. The point is Wes managed to get Englund to give a dark, amazing performance as Freddy. Directors just can’t tell Robert Englund to just go up on set and act, they need to coach him, push him to do it right. Wes and Robert seem to have that certain director-actor relationship. It works well and Robert Englund gives an amazing, scary performance.

So if we aren’t using Wes Craven as a director, there isn’t much point in using Englund. To be honest I welcome Billy-Bob into Freddy’s shoes (gloves and sweater). I think he may just be able to pull things off.

The new face of evil: Billy-Bob Thornton

This reboot may be the only chance to bring back a potentially good series in the franchise, it comes at a price (the loss of the original masterpiece) yes, but hopefully it will be better than 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 put together!

Lets just hope that anyway...

Dead Space Wii

2009-02-04T10:06:00.002Z

CEO John Riccitiello has announced that Dead Space is coming to the Wii. "We're bringing core intellectual properties and franchises in categories we think have legs on the Wii platform. A good example of this is Dead Space. We're bringing a Wii title to the market this year and it is absolutely going to be the quality and fear factor that you got on the PS3, Xbox 360, and PC SKUs this past year."

However if the Dead Space port is anything like the monstrosity that was Dead Rising Wii, I will not be impressed. As we all know Dead Rising Wii was a thorough disappointment for both fans of the Nintendo Wii and Dead Rising Fans alike.

Although Dead Rising was made by Capcom, and EA have made a higher quality survival horror than Resident Evil 5. I'm willing to put faith into EA and see what the Wii title has to offer. Although I'm happy with my PS3 version, I'll be happy for all those people who can't afford a PS3 just yet to get this amazing survival horror on their Wii console. Although i can't expect it to be as fluid.

I'll try and keep you guys updated when more info comes in!

Resident Evil 5

2009-02-02T18:53:00.005Z

Well I got the demo today, there were so many people downloading it, the PS server struggled on hold on to sanity.

Well all I can say is, meh. Lets just start off with things slowly here. Resident Evil 5 wasn't the step ahead of Resident Evil 4that some people were thinking. All my previous views and fears were confirmed: Resident Evil 5 is ResidentEvil 4 in disguise!

I found myslef looking at the same animations, the same noises that surrounded me in Resident Evil 4. There has been a slight step iup in gameplay, for example Sheva is better than Ashley at defending herself and you, however the A.I wasn't the masterpiece reviewers have been raving on about. Sheva does not help you as often as you like. Many times I was faced with 'the chainsaw guy' (recycle point 327) and Sheva doesn't even attempt to help shoot the chainsaw guy before he digs his tool of death into my neck. It is really rare to get any decent A.I in games, but by the way critics were raving you would have thought skynet was going to help you to play! This is not the case, the A.I is unresponsive and sloppy at times, I just hope that within the next few weeks before they send this mofo off to the printers they want me toi be impressed.
The other thing that annoyed me was the fact they swapped the buttons around, which made the game harder than what I'm used to, square was action and x was run, it was like a horrible resident evil nightmare gone even more wrong where up is down and kangaroos fly backwards. Ok well i'm going lightly off course here with describing how akward the controls are.

Another thing I noticed that the machete is weaker than the knife in Resident Evil 4? Why may you ask? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!!! You'd think that Leon's knife wouldn't be as powerfull as a FUCKING MACHETE!!!! It just has no logic to it. It's as if I shot you with a handgun and it blew a hole in you, whereas I shot you with a shotgun at close range and you were still standing. It just doesn't make any logical sense. Especially the amount of muscle that is going behing that swing.

As I mentioned before countless amount of things are being recycled right from animations to sound effects and similar sounding music. However things are not all that bad. Resident Evil 5 is still a fun game to play, however people who have played Resident Evil 4 will soon get bored and switch off. EA did a wonderful job at Dead Space, it had everything Resident Evil 5 lacks: suspence, a feeing of fear, and horrid undead creatures.

All in all:

Graphics 7.5/10 - I applaud the amount of detail, but 720p?! I'd expect better for a PS3 port of such an expensive (to make) game. Animations are recycled, and for a 7th gen console the animations are really sloppy. Sorry Capcom, but put at least some effort into your games.

Gameplay: 7/10The controls are so hard to get used to, however once you got passed the button swap, not much has changed. However the implement of online co-op sounds good, but there isn't much of this game which really is a leap in evolution. With Resident Evil 2 there was a leap of evolution with the scenario A and B which increased playability, with also fiendish unlockables. With Resident Evil 3 the gameplay was improved beyond belief and has played a steady piece in the newer Resident Evil gameplay. Resident Evil 4 gave us a new camera, new aiming system and the almighty action button. This has not only paved the way for future RE titles, but A LOT of games titles of the horror and action franchises. Resident Evil 5 just doesn't seem much of a leap. Again Capcom knew they had a great formula, and decided not to improve it too much because they were pussies for pushing the envelope.

Sound: 6.5/10 Not creepy, but it is quite detailed, but doesn't scare me :/ So above average, however doesn't give me the desired effect a Resi game should, on top of the fact it sounds EXACTLY LIKE RESIDENT EVIL 4 it doesn't help my anger issues. Lets hope the overall game scores higher.

Overall I give this demo a 6.5/10

The A-Team Movie

2009-01-25T17:47:00.003Z

Well I thought "Hmm what other 80's show can we ruin?" and I thought "Bingo! The A-Team" and naturally i remembered a while back there was going to be an A-team movie!

So if I was in charge who would I have play who, and what would the bullshit story be?

Well story wise, I'd have it set during this war we are having with our neighbours in the Middle East. Four soldiers decide that the War is unjust and they don't feel right killing so they plan an escape, and escape in some spectacular way. The rest of the film is the millitary hunting them down while they are trying to help innocent civilians, with McGyver style booby traps etc. Think of it a "The Bourne Identity" but with 4 guys and allot more comical moments.

Ok so although we couldn't have the old cast (thanks to some of them dying) we could have a new cast.

George Cloony as Hannibal Smith: I mean who could be smug enough to play this guy? Well George Cloony of course! He's also done some good films, seeing him in oceans 11 just made me think of Hannibal Smith.

Jim Carry as 'Howlin' Mad' Murdoch - Sorry but Jim Carry was built for this role. There is no-one else on this earth who could play Murdoch. Given the right dialoge and direction and Jim Carry can be a brilliant actor.

Ving Rahmes as B.A. Baracus - I know Mr T is the ONLY person who will ever be B.A. but as this is a modern day adaptation I think Ving is the man to put on the Mohawk

Christian Bale as Face. Let’s face it (get it? Ok I'll slap myslef for that one). Christain Bale is currently the flavour of the month, and to add to that; a damn fine actor. I know if the script was good enough he’d do it, if not I’m sure Brad Pit would more than welcome the role

Who would I have to direct and write it? The Coen Brothers of course!

Ok so Coen Brothers + George Cloony + Jim Carry + Ving Rahmes +Christain Bale and you might have a damn fine movie on your hands gentlemen!

Here's a shitty quick photoshop!

Facebook: The Movie?

2009-01-24T23:10:00.000Z

Fuck having a movie based on the creators of facebook, why not FACEBOOK/OFF ?!

Toblerone

2009-01-21T14:00:00.002Z

Toblerone isn't worth shit unless it's the supersized one. I mean only people watching their weight would buy the puny ones you can finish off in one bite, and why buy chocolate if you're watching your weight?!?

You want one where one chunk is equal to one of the smaller Toblerone, you want to be ale to feel that you've accomplished something buy eating a few chunks.

Fuck the normal Toblerone, supersize it; ALWAYS.

Vlogging

2009-01-21T13:58:00.001Z

Well I'm considering vlogging. I'm not wanting to, but I think I can express myslef, I mean written word is great, but I can express myself more in front of the camera.... Meh you may see my on the LCD screen near you!

Thoughts of the Year

2009-01-21T13:27:00.004Z

Well I've been busy, and now seeking another employer, so updating this site has been the least of my worries. But I've checked up on anything 'new' in the world of games and films, and to be honest there isn't anything that I didn't expect. Dead Rising Wii still sucks, the new screens and advertising for RE5 still makes thing seem like an RE4 clone, there isn't much new news on the side of the new Nightmare movie, nor the Robocop movie. To be honest all this news I catch up with, but it depresses me that I cannot change a damn thing, well, not yet anyway.

Which brings me to another point.

I'm a massive fan of the Nintendo Wii (but not a massive fan of Nintendo, I used to be a Sega man myself until Sony came along). However I'm angry; Games companies have no respect for one of the largest profit making consoles of all time.

There is no quality control when it comes to Wii games. All it is, is a gimmick; there is no thought put into 99% of all Wii games.

First of all there is the connotation with Wii games and bad graphics. This annoys me because if the Gamcube could produce beautiful graphics such as Resident Evil and Resident Evil 4, and the Wii apparently has twice the processing power; then why the hell haven't we got games twice as pretty as Resident Evil 4?!

I tell you why, it's because games companies just can't be arsed with actually producing a Wii game that looks nice. They just want to rush the game so much because they know that as long as it has the "Wii" logo on the box they think people will buy their bullshit.

I just wish games developers would but a little effort into their games.

The next thing is the motion sensitive controls: Games companies have little to NO consideration to whether their game needs motion sensitive controls or not. Instead of putting some intelligent thought to stop and think how the controls would feel natural or forced they just slap on some generic controls where you use your best masturbation skills to do the most simple task on screen.

Games companies have little to no respect to the console that makes them money. The wii has a potential to be a great console, but it seems that most developer's would rather pump out lots of shit than great games. Look at what happened to the Atari consoles after a saturation of shit: Learn from the Video Game Crash of '83 guys. Nintendo may not be as good as it used to be, but it shouldn't be discarded, it was sad enough to see Sega go.

Another thing that caught my attention is the fact the Christain Bale told McG to fuck off, and told him the the T4 script was shit, although agreed to do after McG described his vision for T4, and agreed to do it once that vision was down on paper.

However all I've seen from T4 is mindless explosions and car chases with no character development. So I'm guessing it was the grabage truck filled with gold bars that they parked outside his house that changed his mind.....

This is Anonymous Gamer saying

You Stay Classy Internets

Dragonball Evolution

2008-12-31T14:22:00.001Z

I can't tell you how hilarious this movie is. It is truely a great subtle comedy on all those shitty action comic book / anime style kids films. The writers of this are genius, never have I seen thes movies so subtly parodied in all my life, all I can ask is WHERE THE HELL IS LESLIE NEALSON?!?

Oh wait, the live action Dragonball movie isn't meant to be funny? It isn't a parody off shittly action/disaster/superhero films?!

WHAT THE FUCK?! EPIC FAIL!

After seeing the dreadfull Dragonball movie one thing came to my mind; "Uwe Boll" however Uwe Boll isn't assigned to this movie, so who was teh director who decided to fuck up a solid and long lasting anime series? James Wong....Wait, James Wong?! One of the co-producers of the X-Files?! What the fuck man, how can this be?!! It's just WRONG with a capital WHAT THE FUCK!? Oh wait he made Final Destination 3, that softens teh blow a bit.

Ok so here's the trailer, I'd love to have comments if possible.

So what do you guys think? pretty bog standard sterotypical stuff going on? Oh and the live action characters really remind you of the manga comic right?! Isn't the whole plot of the original manga about a kid with a tail who goes on a quest for seven dragonballs with his friend Bulma so he can selfishly get a wish to come true, only THEN to go on a great quest to defend the earth against an alien called Piccolo who wants the Dragonballs to destroy earth? Does this seem like a good enterpritation of the original material?!

Anyway at the end of the day ANYTHING usually with the subtitle "Evolution" "Vengence" "Unleashed" or some sort of crap like that is bound to suck.

Terminator 4

2008-12-29T00:23:00.002Z

I just finished watching Terminator 3 with a friend, and I think I'm being too harsh on Terminator 4. Now with a fresh mind on what Terminator 3 was, I can clearly say that T4 cannot possibly be worse than Terminator 3. I mean the only good part of T3 was judgement day actually happening, I'm sure that T4 will be at least be worth renting when it's out on DVD or at least watching it on TV on a sunday, and you don't want to have contact with any other human being but yourself and possibly one other to share the pain with you over some digestive biscuits and a cup of tea...

I apologise McG, I'm sure I'll enjoy watching an illegal copy of T4, hey the camera work might be more entertaining than the film itself, maybe I'll witness the audiance die of bordom?

Sorry i couldn't help with one last McG joke...Anyway yeah I think T4 will slightly supass T3 in being the 2nd best Terminator picture (T1 and 2 are equal in different ways and take joint 1st).

Equilibrium

2008-12-29T00:17:00.002Z

Although some people may not agree, I love the film Equilibrium: It's got an almost all British cast, kick ass action, and some very touching emotional scenes. Some may argue it rips things and ideas off others, but what great idea doesn't take inspiration from other great ideas. It's a shame that the DVD cover looks so naff.

Look at it, it just radiates bargain bin £1/DVD. Yet it's content is pretty solid. So why the hell the horrid DVD cover....

It beggars belief!

Ghostbusters 3

2008-12-28T00:31:00.002Z

Well it seems that Sigourney Weaver is still in the mood for being in GB3, and Murray has gone from a big NO NO, to being in teh limelight as 'someone to train up the new generation' of ghostbusters.

Still I don't think there are any four comedians which could fill in those spaces. I don't want to say Jack Black, because although he can be funny, he's just a a BIG NO to GB, the same with Seth Rogan; he's just flavour of the month. I don't know who could be so timeless, and as funny as Bill Murray, Harold Rammis, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson....

Ghostbusters: The Video Game

2008-12-28T00:26:00.002Z

So Ghostbusters the Video Game is out in Summer 2009, oh and WHAT a summer that will be (I hope). Looking at other's first impressions it seems like a solid game: I haven't really been looking at many screenshots of gameplay vids just because I want to play the game unspoiled, so I'm afraid I wont have a solid opinion on it until the summer. All I can say is that I'm pretty pumped right about now!

Terminator: Salvation (update)

2008-12-28T00:09:00.002Z

Well I saw the new Trailer here: http://wbads-58.vo.llnwd.net/e1/wbmovies/terminatorsalvation/trl2/TerminatorTRL2_L.mov

...and my first impression?

WHAT A LOAD OF STEAMY SHIT!! This movie is going to blow so much it sucks, putrid monkey anus residue!!! This movie seems full of CG, and some of the machines are ridiculous, motorbikes and terminators?! Fuck off!
I thought this movie was supposed to be more character based like in the original masterpiece. BUT NO! McG had to turn into Michael Bay (not to say I had any faith in McG, and ta least I enjoyed Transformers on an entertainment level). I can seriously say that as far as this one goes, this is the wors, seriously I think I'd rather watch T3 if the choice between T4 and T3 was given. What ablsolute bullshit....
So what did i think was good; well Christian Bale seemed like an OK John Connor, but he seems to play the same character in the Batman series; I know John Connor is American (and believe it or not yanks, Bale is Welsh and puts on that ridiculous Amrican accent), but he just sounds like Bruce Wayne, I mean; the fuck man?! Also a young Kyle Reese wasn't as dissapointing as I thought. He didn't play it how I'd want, but he played it better tahn I thought. It's a shame HE LOOK NOTHING LIKE MICHAEL BIEHN!!!!

Anyway I can't believe I'm going to torture myself by watching this, definately a download. I'll let you know If I was proven wrong....

Welly Welly Welly

2008-12-20T13:27:00.003Z

If it isn't Christmas coming up, well today is the only opportunity fro me to blog fro a while so lets look at the recent developments, Resident Evil 5 has some developments such as a release date (near my Birthday too! With crappy American Box-Art (however so much better than the American RE4 box-art) being released, and an amazing Special Japanese Edition (http://www.e-capcom.com/bio5/) being released. Also the marketing has been pushed into live action, with acting as good as the game itself (bad then ho ho ho Merry Zingmas!).

However what does all this say about what I think of RE5? Well fanboys, I'm sorry but although RE5 looks nice, and I am excited (especially at Christmas) about the game. I cannot endorse that this game will be a classic such as Dead Space. I mean all they've done is made it epically more Cinematic, however the acting, dialogue and plot is just as poor as any Capcom game, and they just don't have the Konami magic.

Resident Evil 5 however does have some intriguing points to look forward to such as the 'death' of Jill Valentine. The Tricell Corporation (especially after Degeneration, I'm more excited than ever), and maybe a battle of epic proportions between Neo-Wesker and Roided Up-Chris.

Not as epic as the battle between Snake and Liquid at then end of MGS4, but none-the less a Capcom sort of Epic.

Oh and of course bloody great big crocodiles, which I guess are not infected apart from one bloody big one I've seen in screens.

All in all this is RE4 on steroids, much like Chris's arms the size of Schwarzenegger’s chest.

Ok so Ghostbusters, well these guys have got me, I have to admit, I'm a fanboy and will ignore all negative comments until I play the game myself, I'm hoping it will be awesome, I just hope it will. Looking at everything though the game look awesome, but I'll make sure I review it when it comes out. On the matter of Ghostbuster 3 though Sigourney Weaver and Bill Burry are discussing Ghostbuster's 3, and Sigourney is considering Alien 5! What the fuck is going one with these stars?! It isn't only the stars though; it's the fact that Ridley Scott will be doing Alien 5 too!

I mean a little money waved in front of these people and they jump to it. I'm a fan of Scott and Wever's work (most of teh time) however I was a fan of the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones: I was coned once into thinking KoTCS was going to be great, but not any more, any 80's revival, remake or re-imaging will only be viewed online. Damn you George Lucas!!!!!!

Well I'd report on the other festivities, but there has been no real news about them, and none that really alter my view on them, Robocop is still in Limbo, Dead Rising Wii still sucks, GTA; Chinatown Wars I still refuse to get a DS for and as for ‘Batman 3’ is still in rumourworld, with the likes of Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler. I mean, you DON'T get comic actors to play serious roles, the Riddler is supposed to be like Jigsaw, not like Jim Carry or Eddie Murphy.

Resident Evil: Degeneration Review

2008-12-13T22:10:00.000Z

So I finally watched Degeneration last week. So what did I think of it you may be wondering?

Well I have mixed feelings. The story isn't so hot for anyone looking for more than what Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children gave us. It's pretty much a movie for fans and fans only. Anyone else watching this who isn't a zombie movie fan or a Resident Evil fan will be thoroughly disappointing (yet you may be one of these retards who hates the games yet loves the Resident Evil movies). The storyline takes some new locations for a Zombie outbreak to occur, but unleashes all the clichés in a zombie and action genre. There isn't any twists that you can't guess from the beggining, there are no mind breaking moments such as in the game Metal Gear Solid 4 (or should I call it Epic Gear Solid 4?!), there's just Zombies, monsters, more of your favourite characters from the game.

From a Resident Evil fan I felt that the story was good, and added texture to the previous games, and let us into what's been going on with the world since 1998 to 2005 in RE's universe, it even sets up RE5 set 3 years after Degeneration and 2 years after Jill Valentine's 'death.' It explains all about what company has taken over Umbrella, and how the public are still not completely aware of what the T-Virus was. It also has a very bold, and intersting move that I can say I'm very excited about, which means a certain virus now has a vaccine, and another virus makes a comeback (which is awesome to see in in glorious new visuals. Altogether I definately recomend a fan see this movie, and if you are into zobie flicks this is definately worth a rental, or borrowing it of a Resident Evil fan.

Other things to point out is that the graphics on this film can either be spectacular, or horrible, especially the lipsyncing. Especially that the fact that the movie was recorded in English in the first palce, it means there should be NO problems with the lip movements. Alas however the characters look like badly dubbed anime characters.
Another thing as I mentioned is that some of the graphics are sub-par to Resident Evil 5 in places which says a lot.

Altogether if you are not a Resident Evil or Zombie movie fan stay away from this film at all costs, it'll just give you a headache, and will probably bore you. However if you are a fan of Zombie films or Resident Evil (or both) than this could be a worthwhile renatl or even a worthwhile addition to your DVD/BluRay collection.

Non Zombie people - 3/10

Zombie People - 6.5/120

Resident Evil fans - Anywhere between 7.5 and 8.7/10

Terminator 4

2008-11-30T23:27:00.003Z

Well I've been looking at all the new T4 stuff, and let me tell you, my predictions on this are right. This will be the biggest pile of faecal matter spewed out of an obese persons ass after eating a dodgy takeaway seen since K.o.t.C.S! Especially when Josh Brolin said that the script that he read was allot darker than what they have supposedly shot. I knew it, I knew that this would be a load of PG-13 crap. The point is that kids will see an 18 or a 15 rated movie anyway, I really am not looking forward to having to watch this film to review.....FUCK!

Resident Evil 5 (update)

2008-11-30T18:41:00.002Z

Mikami said that

"I won't like it, because it's not going to be the game I would have made," he told Official PlayStation magazine, "It'll just cause me stress if I play it. I think it could be fun for gamers to play it, but not for someone who has developed Resident Evil games. If I see anything in Resident Evil 5 that isn't done well, I'll be angry!"

Haha, right on. However he did bring us RE4, and that was great, but once teh spell was broken, very unlike Resident Evil. However although you guys know what I think of RE5, I hope to be surprised. It's always nice to be wrong sometimes.

Hopefully I can give my initial impressions once a demo is released at some point next year (for Europe)

Ghostbusters Game on track 2009

2008-11-17T23:12:00.000Z

Well Atari has officially picked up as publisher for Ghostbusters the Game. I just can't wait for this game, I just watched Ghostbusters II, I can't wait for the sequel!!!

Dead Space

2008-11-16T09:09:00.004Z

So It's Sunday and I have work, but before I commit myself to my work I'll start writing my review on Dead Space (dang that reminds me Tomb Raider-thon soon!).

When i first saw the advert for Dead Space I thought 'oh, look a cheap shitty horror game' especially as the game was made by EA, who to be honest are not the exact survival horror type such as Konami and to some extent Capcom are.
However a review by Spoony (www.thespoonyexperiment.com) changed my mind...

Dead Space for the first time since I played Silent Hill and Silent Hill 2 a game has scared be. The atmosphere of the sound design is second to none, I even think it beats the resident evil remake! I found myslef many times ducking out the way of a monster swiping for my head behind my character. I was on edge for every turn in the game.
The best thing about Dead Space is that it proves that the Resident Evil 4 game mechanics can REALLY work and be terrifyingly scary.
I think the main reason is that you are trapped in space and you have nowhere to escape to. Yes the game does borrow from Bioshock and Resident Evil 4, but to be honest that's a 3rd person shooter's dream to combine them both. EA games has done that.
There are some very uniqe and cool mechanics such as being able to run around in Zero-G where any surface can become the floor; really, really nice.
Thne nemies are awesome, it's like they cross-bread the weird design of enemies in Silent Hill with the ferocity of the Xenomorph in Alien. In fact the design of the ship is very Gigerish, very nice.

The only problem I found with the game is what spoony pointed out, some of the technology is laughable, such as personal bullet time machines which can freeze an object in time, or slow them down for a certain period, whilest everything else is in real time. This is stupid, but you accept it as it's a game. Also the use of kenesis is a bit stupid, but you can shake that off more than the personal bullet time.
Some of teh weapons aare very stupid, but as a game, the weapons are very fun (except the flamethrower, that is LAME) to use, and the dismemberments and the way the bodies slip around give a very slimey feel to the alien bodies and the dead ones.

The graphics are pretty damn tight, but obviosuly had to be played down so it could fit on the 360, however this by now way gets in your way when playing it. This is truly an example of when a slight difference in polygons doesn't matter at all.

Alotogether Dead Space has in my eyes become an instant classic up with the greats such as Resident Evil, Silent Hill, System/Bioshock and to some extent the original Survival Horror: Alone in the Dark.

Well done EA you get a solid 8.8/10

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-09T16:04:00.004Z

I saw Quantum of Solace the other day, and without reading oen review. Now I make my own Judgement.

Quantum of Solace is a direct sequel to Casino Royale, and takes the new 'rough around the edges' Bond and takes him on a journey to find out who is responsible for the death of Vesper, and behind LeChife. The story takes place in 2006 20 minutes after the ending of Casino Royale. Unfortunately that is where the similaraties end. I'm going to skip the possitive and go straight to the negative.

1) The Title sequence. although the typography was very good in this film and the pace of the sequence went with the song, I really felt that the CGI sequenceing was nothing unusual in today's films and I feel that the way the camera moved made me feel incredibly dizzy and nausaus.

2) The first hand to hand action sequence made me feel even more sick, I mean Mark Forster just wen hack crazy in the avid suite, the fights were very quickley cut and filed at mid shots or close ups. There was very little time to see who was punching who and the edits were so fast that my brain had a hard time catching up: With a film like Batman Begins some of the fight scenes worked because Batman was supposed to be a mysterious figure who spread confusion amongsed enemies, this style of directing didn't work for the action, especially in this sequence.

3) The ridiculous action scenes. It seemed that Casino Royale had bought forward a gritty, real style to the genre, like Ian Flemming's spy. This time they went back to Die Another Day with ridiculous situations to put Bond into. Now here come spoilers so highlight to read.

There are to particular scenes which I hated. The first one is Bond opening a parachute at the last second. Not only does he and said company survive impact, they don't have a scratch on therm, and their clothes are relatively clean. The CGI in this scene is awful too.
The next scene is the fanalie action scene inside the fuel cell fortress. It's just so ridiculous I went from crying inside to laughing. Bond has gone completely the opposite of the gritty Casino Royale.

4) There is a thread thin plot, in which you barely know what is going on. Not to say that you can undertsnad it, but your brain switches off and you just end up watching Quantum of Solace like a pop-up picture book. Not something I expected after Casino Royale.

5) Marc Forster explained that we would see a Bond Villian who is very normal, and very unlike any previous Bond Villians. However he has and underwater dam, and his 'SPECTRE' (aka Quantum) group all have 'Q' badges just so you know who they are. Kinda Cute.

6) Contanuity has changed alot, since MI6 has completly been refurbished since Casino Royale, and has installed the table computer by Windows, and M has a completly new flat. I mean what he hell?! This took me completely out of the story, as every time I say a contanuity error my head just screamed.

There are many other things that bug me, but I'd be writing for too long. Quantum of Siolace is a step back from Casino Royale, it wasn't as bad as ome of the Bond Films that have come and gone, but certainly after such a gritty intersting film such as Casino Royale, this one just seems to be no way near as good. If you are not a Bond fan, it may be worth downloading or renting, but to a Bond fan it's worth adding to your DVD collection.

O'HOLY SHIT

2008-11-09T00:58:00.003Z

Ok, apologies everyone, but I now have a job! So therefore updating this comes second I'm afraid, but wow, I've got updates on all the games and movies and two special reviews, as well as updating completely my games blog!

Lets start with

TERMINATOR SALVATION

Well they have finished principle photography, and are heavily involved in editing. Yet my hopes for more physical effects have been dashed as 'visual effects never attempted before' are being attempted on the avid screen. HA!

Well Jim Cameron clarified things to, apparently he got a phone call from McG (fuck his name just sounds like a shit Gangster or a burger) called Jim and said he'd send a script and some film. To this date Jim Cameron has not one word of script or not a yard of film. So therefore it looks like McG is too scared to what Jim might think of his shitfest.

Here was a video that I spotted a while back, in which I didn't have time to share my feelings, well I'll share them with you now.

http://io9.com/5080334/new-terminator-4-video-shows-martin-laings-painterly-war-movie

To be honest this film looks bad, I mean I think I'm going to be right on this one, it has non of the grit that teh first one had, and I doubt it will deeply question the themes of the first two, about responsaibility, motherhood, childhood, adulthood, taking another life etc.

My first impression of Kyle Reese is also mixed. I must admit my heart leaped when he said the famous line, but I'm not sure how his character will progress. I'd definitely like to see some sort of character development like Bond grew in Casino Royale.

Anyway I predict Terminator Salvation will be nothing more than a small nod to the first two movies, and will be nothing but a pile of shit on top of the first two at the same time, I might even say it would be on par with T3 on the shit-o-meter. So if you ejoy mindless popcorn movies, go see it, cry like I did (inside) when I saw Indy 4. Fuck this film, I'll see it (on ninja video) but fuck paying to see this at the magic lantern show until I’ve disproved my theory.

DEAD RISING:

Just a few words, I've seen more footage, and screenshots, and it just looks a joke, there are still about 10-15 zombies on screen, and there isn't much improvement on anything here. This is just like farcry on the Wii, petty and pointless. Although I'd like to say I'll give it a review when it comes out, I just don't want myself to be put through this awful game, especially when Resident Evil 4 gave us at least 30 - 40 enemies on screen.

However on the Dead Rising 2 mountain: DR2 is rumoured to be in development by Blue Castle Games (America), where Capcom (Japan) will just be publishing it. There isn't much to go on here. Dead Rising was a good game, the fact that this was the first true 'zombie' game for the 7th generation was awesome, we could for the first time see the zombie apocalypse, unlike RE3 for the Playstation; this was a vast leap. DR2 has a lot of heavy expectations, so hopefully whomever develops it better do a good job, or a lot of fanboys will be baying for their blood like hungry zombies.

ROBOCOP:

Nothing much new here, but I'm still pretty excited of what a reinvented Robocop could bring us. Apparently it will hardly resemble the old film, which to me will in this case particularly bring some new fresh feelings. The reboot is there to bring something new like Batman Begins, but bring a change even more radical than what Begins was compared to the original.
I can't wait to sink my critical teeth into the first trailer.

RESIDENT EVIL 5

Oh my god, I've missed a LOT of news on Resident Evil 5, and you guys will know more than I do at the moment, you may have even played it, seems like a tilde wave of RE5 news has hit us: We have hands on impressions and RE5 for PC (like that was unexpected) and a whole bunch of odds and sods.

Well as you guys have already read it I'm just going to give a quick overview on my predictions for the game so far, because I don't want you to read through what you already know.

To be honest I think this game will be ok. Just OK, I'm expecting it to be action packed, in which I despise in a RE game. I expected it to be a more oiled version of RE4, which isn't a bad thing. I think I'll be entertained. What I don't think it will bring is a gritty storyline which raises questions about humanity and where we are heading, I'm not expecting to be scared, I'm not expecting Dead Space either, just entertainment. I think this game is expected to be no more than 7 out of 10 and a minimum of 4.5 out of 10. Still it seems exciting and I can't wait to play it. I must admit all the hype has got me worked up.

Ok, so next up will be my double bill review-a-thon: Quantum of Solace and Dead Space.

Apologies

2008-10-11T22:05:00.002+01:00

Apologies everyone for not updating the games review website (http://anonymousgamesreviews.blogspot.com/) in a while. To be honest I've been very busy with the outside world and have not enough hours in the day.

Please take it in faith that for every week I miss updating it, means I just will update it with more reviews, I think by next Monday I will be up to Tomb Raider Legend? So expect a fuck load of full reviews soon!

Resident Evil: Degeneration

2008-10-11T13:23:00.002+01:00

Resident Evil: Degeneration premièred at TGS'08 yesterday where it got mainly a negative response from critics.

Some thought that the CGI was sub-standard, while others parised the motion capture and visual presentation.

What many people agreed on was that the storyline was for hard-core fans only.

WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!! These movies are designed to be for hardcore fans, just as Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children was designed for FFVII fans only. Critics should get their head around this before picking the shit out of movies made for the fans. Sure the plot of Degeneration may only be understood by those who have played every single Resident Evil game, and that mainstream audiences wouldn’t get it, but the whole point is that this movie was designed for the fans.

Now I have not seen the whole 90 minutes of degeneration and I agree some of the dialogue is messy and you might find yourself laughing at what comes out of these character’s mouths. Some might even be slightly agitated at some parts where the character’s lips fall out of sync, or even that Chris Redfield in RE5 looks better than Leon and Claire in this movie, who look too shiny to be real.

However the fact stil remains, if you are a fan of the movies, or are expecting something meaningful and more than just shooting zombies, and bridging gaps between Resident Evil 4 and 5 then PLEASE DON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE. If you are however a hardcore fan then this movie might hit the spot, maybe not in the sense of good dialogue and thought provoking material, but in the sense of bridging some timeline gaps between 2004 and 2008, just as Umbrella Chronicles did kinda bridge what happened between 2000 and 2004 (aka the fall of Umbrella in 2003). I’m yet to see the whole movie, and will give my own thorough review once it comes out.

Terminator: Salvation (update)

2008-10-11T12:40:00.003+01:00

First of all a word from James Cameron via the National Post:

"It could be a big steaming pile or it could be brilliant. Sam Worthington is in the Avatar and the new Terminator and he likes the script, but I never saw it. There was no blessing involved."

So McG is a liar about the fact that he is consulting Jim Cameron about Terminator Salvation. He seems to be just as miffed as you and I about T4. So the matter is yet again open to the fact if T4 will be a 'steaming pile'

In other news Cinema Blend. Has some interesting shots of T4. It seems that McG is breaking the mould of setting most of the future scenes in a daytime setting. Is this is a brave attempt to make this film stick out from the others like Resident Evil 4 and 5? Or an attempt to trick us into thinking the said previous attempt?!

You may also notice that they are physically doing some of the effects, which means there might me an idication of going back to filming the movie on more physical terms. Now I know that it's impossible to do a Terminator movie without some sort of extra help, wether it's stop-go animation, back projection/chroma key, or CGI, but T1 and 2 always used as much physical effects as possible to make it seem as real as possible. Could it be that McG and his 'army of Terminator fans/film crew' have decided to be faithfull to Cameron's style of filming and storyline?! I know that James Cameron's version of the T-600 has already been changed, but we'll soon see. So far I'm just as confused as James Cameron on this one, although T4 will most likely suck monkey balls.

Anyway here they are:

Resident Evil 5 (update)

2008-10-09T19:56:00.003+01:00

HERE BE SPOILERS (HIGHLIGHT TO READ)

It seems that Capcom had the balls to kill off Jill Valentine, as seen in the alternate version of the TGS'08 Trailer. The story looks too 'personal' but it seems pretty epic though I'll give them that, maybe this still has a chance of being a great Resident Evil title?!

Alternate trailer can be found here: http://www.gametrailers.com/player/41125.html

Updateathon: Resi 5, Dead Rising and Indy 5

2008-10-09T09:28:00.012+01:00

I apologise to anyone who reads my blog, I have been extremely busy in the realms of REAL LIFE. I mean I do have a life outside the internet ya know?

Anyway lets cut the shit:

Indiana Jones 5:

Harrison ford recently talked about a 5th film of Indiana Jones. Ford had this to say "It's crazy but great. George is in think mode right now."

The key word is crazy here. George Lucas has gone mad, it seems that something has controlled his brain to make him make shitty versions of the classic adventure movies he used to make such as Star Ward and Indiana Jones. I'm not sure if it's his hair controlling him like some sort of alien brain slug or what but it must be stopped. I can imagine fans of the old Star Wars teaming up with fans of the old Indiana Jones tracking George down and George being held hostage by his own hair.

It may not surprise some of you (especially the Indy geeks) that there were 5 films planned to be filmed one after another, however George (before the hair took over) and Stephen decided to call it a day after the third; like ALL GOOD TRILOGIES!!!Ford: "George = Crazy"

Scum

Dead Rising: Chop Till you Drop

So many of you have been waiting for my next glimpse of the 360 port of Dead Rising. Well nothing from my last complaint has really gone away. G4 recently had a hands on of Chop Till you Drop. According to them the 'hundreds of zombies' promised has so far not been delivered G4 counted a maximum of 15 zombies on screen at the same time.

Capcom have obviously sacrificed the amount of shops you can access, and G4 have pointed out that a smaller area makes you panic more. However I'm sorry, a large shopping mall with only 15 zombies on screen at a time is ridiculous. It's such a large area to maneuver around it just having a few inaccessible shops really doesn't make it more of a panic fest.

Apart from that nothing has really changed. The graphics look ever so slightly upgraded, but I'd expect more from what I've seen in RE4 on the cube or even on the Wii. The gore effects still look really bad, and the sound effects still don't chill me, take a look at the new trailer, I'm sure you notice music over nearly the whole thing just to hide away the shame.

Resident Evil 5

Well this is the big one. The game that everyone is sooooo excited about. Well I took a look at the new trailer and I can say is....

I'm impressed. Ok I'm not drawn completely in by the bait, but the story already seems to be far more fluid than RE4's. It's a shameless rip off of MGS4's style but I'm sure with an Resident Evil twist. The characters seem far more 3D (I can use puns if I want, I don't give a shit if you don't find it funny fuck you) than in say RE2, 3 Zero and 4 (sorry I loved the more adult themes in CV and the character and script in REmake), but power to them, yes it's going to be over the top, but I think in this one there is going to be a lot better writing, the new trailer just gives me a feeling that things are going to at least better than RE4, so there is something I can relax myself about. Ok It's still a game which looks like it's going to have scenes similar to RE4, which is just unforgivable, allot of the plot seem to lack any imagination, but it already seems that they have cut down the amount of confidence in the characters (aka Leon's monster quip).
It also introduces Wesker and it seems that he has found a new business partner creating bio weapons. It even shows what seems to be Spencer (the fellow from Umbrella Chronicles in the wheelchair). It also explains why Chris joined (or helped set up) BSAA, and it seems things like Degeneration and the events of Resident Evil 4 really pushed things: For example Chris mentions that terrorists got hold of Umbrella's weaponry over black markets and it seem that the incident at the airport (assumption here people) sparked off a new wave of bio terrorism, so BSAA was formed by Chris and a few others. He also has the balls to admit that these enemies are nothing but Ganado rip-offs as "reported in the Kennedy report." Which maybe gives me hope that they may really do a good job bridging all worlds together. So well done Capcom, just don't ruin it with your next trailer.

The graphics look AMAZING (for a 360 title) however I'm sure they could have really pushed it if it was a PS3 exclusive.

The voice acting looks less than impressive though for a next-gen game, first of all you have a bullshit stereotypical mad-scientist who has a voice in which I'd never though I'd say I prefer Alfred Ashford's voice. and Sheva sounds very British for an Africa woman (eve though she seems mixed race so maybe Sheva has a British parent, or maybe was born in Africa but raised in an all girls boarding school in Kent?!
The other factor is that there seems to be quite a bit of mouth flapping which just sucks monkey balls, I thought this was the next generation?! Patrick Stewart would be ashamed.

I did not see any of the new "Gears of War" controls as stated a while back, but fuck it I'll wait another day.

Altogether this trailer has changed my mind on the storyline, but it isn't 100%, I'm still extremely sceptical, and I suppose the next trailer might make me change my mind, however I must give it to Capcom; it is the very first Trailer of RE5 that has really got me interested, it is a shame that we did not see the new controls.

You can view the Trailer here http://www.gametrailers.com/player/41037.html

Godzilla vs Cloverfield

2008-10-04T10:17:00.003+01:00

This isn't a new movie don't worry, nor am I comparing the movies. I'm using statistical anlysis of teh two giants to see who would win in a fight, I already know who I want to win, but I'm doing my damnedest to give Clove...I mean the certain monster a fair chance aginst Godz...I mean the other monster.

Lets start with
Godzilla

Height: 190 - 200 ft

Length: 411.9 feet

Weight: 20, 000 - 60, 000 (realistically) Tons

Abilities: Swimming, Tail Sweep, Fighting with two front arms and kicks with legs, biting.

Special Ability: Thermonuclear Breath which can obliterate most things in one go.

Weakness: If anything it's electricity.
Unknown Monster

Height: 240 - 300 ( on all fours) 300 - 350 feet (standing)

Length: 1200 feet

Weight: 5, 806 Tons

Abilities: Swimming (but not as fast as Godzilla), walking on all fours (for speed) and on two legs, jumping at nearly double its own height, sharp claws.

Special Abilities: Has lots of Parasites attached to it, anything without tough skin which is bitten either immediately dies, or dies later on from their body exploding.

Weaknesses: Possible Nuclear bombing?!

The Fight:

Well the 'Cloverfield' monster is taller and longer than Godzilla, and can jump an at least 200 out of it's 300ft height. Which might make it an interesting fight. However the 'Cloverfield' monster is just a baby and thus it is a lightweight, whereas Godzilla is a fully grown adult whom has a far tougher muscular structure than the 'Cloverfield' monster.
Godzilla (aparf from kicking, punching and biting would also use it's tail to trip the 'Cloverfield' monster up.
Not to mention Godzilla cannot be affected by the parasites and Godzilla has Atomic Breath, which could be an advantage against Cloverfield, as both monsters are resistant to all other types of bombs, maybe this monster could only be affected by a nuclear attack such as Godzilla's Atomic (Thermonuclear) Breath.

However it is said that this monster is just a baby (like those frog tadpole mixes), so an adult version could be 4 tiems as big, and therefore no matter how muscular Godzilla is, I'm afriad an adult version of the 'Cloverfield' monster would just be too big for Godzilla to take on.

Resident Evil 5 (update)

2008-10-04T09:14:00.002+01:00

Despite the new screenshots of Resident Evil 5, an interview by 1UP with Jan Takeuchi revealed that there will be no typewriters. Instead the game will focus entirely on checkpoints and chapters. Which means there is no point in saving unless you've played for too long and need to go to bed/work/college/school/place of worship. So saving just beyond a checkpoint allowing users more freedom within the save system is completely iradicated. Unless of course they pull a Tomb Raider: Anniversary and put checkpoints every 10 steps?! But fuck, as long as you don't mind dying and replaying from the last checkpoint, there isn't much point in saving is there?!

FUCK